The two major plot points in the July 23 episode of Comedy Central’s Legends of Chamberlain Heights, titled “Confederate Flags of Our Fathers,” disrespects police as murdering pot smokers and compares the Confederacy to Al-Qaeda. All in just under a half hour!
We begin with Trel watching the news about an incident in which two white police officers shot a black man with no arms (literally unarmed) and planted a gun and drugs on him. The two were put on paid administrative leave, so Trel decides he wants to join the Sheriff’s Department so he can shoot people and get paid leave, too.
Warning: Explicit Language
News: We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this nonsense from City Hall.
Sheriff: I'm here today to address the latest Chamberlain Heights Police shooting of an allegedly unarmed black man.
Police: Get your hands up! He's resisting! [Gunshots]
Sheriff: According to reports from the arresting officers, it was dark and the man appeared to be reaching for a shiny object with his shoulders. The officers will be placed on fully-paid, administrative leave.
Trel: Damn, sounds more like a paid vacation to me.
Shea: That's what's up. Imagine if on every job you shot a mother[bleep], they paid you to stay home. Shit, I'd go back to teaching pre-school.
Trel: Aye, Yo, you might be onto something. Shit, maybe I'll become a cop.
Shea: A pig? You?
Trel: Yup. All I gots to do is shoot a nigga and then book me a nice-ass paycation.
Trel fails the drug test during his interview but is hired to increase diversity in the department. The sheriff asks why Trel wants to be a cop and he says, “I want to shoot a nigga.” “Bingo, you’re hired,” the sheriff responds. He gives Trel a badge, gun and fake mustache and tells him, “Go make America great again.”
Sheriff: Good news, you passed the exam. Bad news, you failed the drug test.
Trel: Oh, word. I guess it's back to funemployment then.
Sheriff: Hold on now. Luckily for you, we're desperate to increase diversity and add a little color to the force to make the community feel safer.
Trel: That's real talk, though.
Sheriff: So tell me, son, why do you wanna be one of Chamberlain Heights' finest?
Trel: I wanna shoot a nigga.
Sheriff: Bingo! You're hired! Here's your gun, here's your badge, here's your mustache. Now go make America great again.
During training day, his partners are late and their excuse is that they were planting drugs on minorities in the morning. In the squad car, the white cops break out the dope and tell Trel that smoking it makes the day go by quicker. As they drive by an armed robbery in progress, one of the white cops tells Trel that their motto is “hit the gas and save your ass” instead of stopping the car and doing their job to protect and serve. And, to finish out their day, the deputies eat without paying their check and go to a strip club and leave with a bag of money. All the stupid stereotypes of crooked cops were overplayed and obnoxious. But, this is Legends of Chamberlain Heights and it is to be expected.
When push came to shove, Trel was unable to shoot someone as he had hoped to do. The police stop someone coming out of an ice cream shop so that Trel can get his first shooting out of the way, but when Trel realized it was his friend Shea, he couldn’t do it. He shot himself in the foot instead.
Meanwhile, Milk’s stepfather drags him, Jamal and Grover on a camping trip to make Hunny, Milk’s mom, think they are bonding. The trip turns out to be a Civil War enactment and the boys are outraged about the racism of the event. The Confederate flag is raised and they call it a “racist rag,” then they decide to sabotage the reenactment of the "Battle of Funktown." They end up burning the camp down.
Milk wanders off in the woods alone and is dragged into bushes and raped by a bear. Yep. A bear. As the others look for him they stumble upon another group of men role-playing Muslims and doing a 9/11 reenactment. So pretty much they're equating the Confederacy to Al-Qaeda.
There was also a slap at Hillary Clinton, as the boys watched the Confederate soldiers losing, they call the South "the Hillary Clintons of the battlefield." Ouch.
Grover: Guys, this is seriously messed up. How is this supposed to be fun?
Jamal: You guys pretending to be Confederates isn't about pride. You're just some born losers.
Dave: I wasn't gonna let my regiment do anything to you two before, but now all bets are off.
Confederate: Hey, Dave, you gotta come look at this.
Dave: Well, I'll be damned. Is this a 9/11 reenactment?
Confederate: Sure looks that way.
Dave: Destroy our country? Not on my watch. This time, we go to fake war for real.
Jamal: War? Was somebody talking shit on Twitter?
Dave: It's time for you Niagras to fight for your freedom.
Grover: Fight for our freedom? Why does this keep happening?
Jamal: God, I hates America.
Dave: Come on, guys, let's roll. What is wrong with you people? 9/11 was a heinous act and recreating it is not only offensive, it is also dumb and un-American.
Terrorist: "Dumb and un-American," huh? Sounds pretty hypocritical from a guy wearing a Confederate Flag on his uniform.
Terrorist 2: Got 'em!
Confederate: Hey! If you've got something against America, I'll send you back to whatever Middle Eastern compound you "Muslames" hide in, okay?
Terrorist: "Middle Eastern compound"? I'm from Laguna Beach.
Confederate 3: Get out of here! I'm from Newport!
Terrorist: No kidding? East or west?
Confederate 3: Well, shit. You caught me. I live in Anaheim.
Terrorist: Ain't nothing wrong with that. Go Halos!
Dave: You're American?! That's even worse. You're not terrorists, you're traitors. How could you celebrate your own country's ass whooping?
Terrorist: Apparently, the same way you guys do. This ass whoopin' brought us together and made us stronger.
Dave: It's insensitive!
Terrorist: Last I checked, this was still a free country.
Dave: Oh, yeah? Well, [bleep] Your freedom!
Groveer: Oh, shit. Uncle Joey American Gansta.
Confederates: Yee-haw! [Overlapping shouting]
Soldiers: What're you gonna do with that? This is a reenactment, stupid.
Terrorist 3: Reenactment?
Jamal: Man, the Confederates are getting their asses kicked.
Grover: No wonder the South lost, they suck.
Jamal: Yeah, they the Hillary Clintons of the battlefield.
When Jamal and Malik are about to be beheaded, Milk rides in on horseback (wearing a bear skin ala Leonardo DiCaprio in Revenant) and rescues them. He also stops the planes from crashing into the model Twin Towers.
The lame portrayals of those who serve and protect and of white people as racist hypocrites is standard for this lame show. But this time even Muslims were not spared in this episode. This show takes pride in offending everyone and they succeed.
