The Atlantic Touts JFK, Clinton as Cool Ladies Men, Trump as Sleazy Pig

May 3rd, 2018 4:10 PM

Only a lefty magazine would publish a story that reminisces about the glory of former White House womanizers, while lamenting sexual antics of the current president. Yeah, yeah, Donald is a boor, and Clinton, and Kennedy were charming, photogenic playboys. This is getting tedious.

The Atlantic published an article May 3, titled “The First Porn President.” The piece was an inane commentary on the fact that our current president’s sexual misadventures are a downright shame and embarrassment compared to the class and charm of the Playboy era.

Writer Caitlin Flanagan stressed the charm with which JFK “the king of cool, the ironist-in chief,” attracted his high-profile women. Recounting the 35th president’s speech at Madison Square Garden-- the one during which Marilyn Monroe sang her infamous “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” Flanagan wrote, “That moment will live forever, reminding us always of our first and only Playboy president.” She claimed that Kennedy fit the magazine’s portrayal of an “urbane, sophisticated” man-- “able to handle a wide variety of amorous women.”

Then there’s the lovable “frat-boy president,” Bill Clinton. Flanagan wrote, “He could cheerfully reach into an enthusiastic intern’s pants, and then without washing his hands, pick up the phone and conduct the nation’s business. He was careless, self-confident, a winner.”

Yuck. At the same time, Flanagan said Clinton “was humbled and embarrassed” by his mistreatment of women.

Poor Bill, you were only an unfortunate victim of your insatiable lust. We understand. But shameful sexual degenerate, that’s more Donald Trump!

The article touted these Democrat presidents as getting the desirable women. They had “the power to undress another man’s well-cared-for daughter, to unleash the hidden sexual eagerness of all the beautiful, spurning girls who walk the high-school corridors of this country. Only a playboy” could do that. But “anyone with enough money can hire a sex worker, even a famous one.” This was where Donald fit in.

The rest of the article went into detail about Donald’s affairs with Karen McDougal and Stormy Daniels, really driving home the point that Daniels found Trump to be unattractive and only considered their intimacy to be transactional in nature. Because of course, if anyone is going to sleep with Donald, it’s just because of money, and even then the prostitutes aren’t low enough to enjoy it.

Well fine. But really? Isn’t Donald the only one out of the three that didn’t mess around while having the responsibility of a sitting U.S. president? Oh and also, isn’t the article breaking the rules of intersectional politics? Pornstars and sex workers need not be insulted by being put on a lower tier of womanhood, and being classified as lesser conquests. 

So Flanagan is fondly remembering the sexual abuses of two sitting presidents, and putting down pornstars. And here I thought we were in the middle of the #MeToo era.