Amy Schumer's Hulu Dramedy 'Life & Beth': Abortion Procedure 'Just Like Taking a Nap'

March 11th, 2024 4:21 AM

Hulu’s dramedy Life & Beth, created by and starring notorious Hollywood leftist Amy Schumer, is unfortunately back for a second season, and, as expected, it had plenty of scenes that forced Schumer’s political agenda down our throats. Schumer has a knack for ruining what could otherwise be entertaining shows with her politically-biased storytelling.

Abortion and anti-white racism were the focus of season two. In episode nine, “Toxic,” Schumer’s character Beth takes her friend Jess (Sas Goldberg), a married mother of two, to a clinic to have an abortion. Beth is also pregnant and much further along, and as they arrive at the clinic, the two are met with nasty pro-life caricatures who mistakenly believe Beth is there to have an abortion. At least they don’t try to hide the fact that abortion is legal up to birth in many places:

Jess: This is it?

Beth: Yes. We always wanted to be pregnant at the same time.

Jess: Mm. We did it.

Beth: Hi. I'm having a geriatric pregnancy; you're having a geriatric abortion.

Protesters: How could you kill your unborn child?! It's a sin! You're a sinner! Nobody will ever love you!

Beth: That one hurt.

Jess: Thank you for taking the heat.

Protester: Jesus will never forgive you!

Beth: It's supposed to be your day. Sorry to steal your thunder.

Protesters: Don't do it! Don't do it! Anyone see the new Ted Lasso? So good.

While it’s not impossible for there to be hateful people outside of an abortion clinic, that is most definitely an exception, not the rule. Most pro-lifers keep vigil to pray for both mothers and their babies, and they lovingly offer them help. Countless lives have been saved thanks to these dedicated people.

Once inside the clinic, Jess meets the abortionist, who is wearing a hijab. That’s when the show begins to repeat the media’s lies about crisis pregnancy centers being “fake abortion clinics,” as she begins to fear she’s in one.

The conversation devolves into an anti-child, anti-marriage rant as Jess says she can’t be “tricked” into changing her mind because she already has two kids and she “doesn’t like either of them much.”

Abortionist: Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Dr. Sabri. I'll be performing your procedure today. And, uh, your vitals look good. So, I'll just be doing a quick examination, and then we're gonna do your ultrasound.

Jess: Ultrasound? Is this a trick? You show me my baby and I change my mind? Because you can't make me keep it. I already have two kids and I don't like either of them much.

Abortionist: Mrs.?

Jess: Jess. Just Jess.

Abortionist: Jess, I can assure you, this is not one of those clinics.

Jess: Okay. I just…I got worried that I might've accidentally booked one of those religious places because…Just…

Abortionist: Oh. Yes, I understand that my hijab can be confusing. I believe in a woman's right to choose. What she would like to wear and whether she would like to be pregnant.

Jess: Wow. I just…I never really met someone like you before.

Abortionist: You've never met a Muslim before? There are, like, two billion of us in the world.

Jess: Not where I'm from. Sorry! I'm so thrown by your headscarf. It's kind of like seeing a celebrity, but somewhere you don't expect. Like Emily Blunt in a Duane Reade.

Abortionist: Muslims, they're just like us. Let's go over the procedure.

Jess: Okay, yeah, let's.

Abortionist: So, we're gonna give you some meds. You're gonna be partially sedated. And don't worry, you're not gonna feel a thing, and you're not gonna remember any of it.

Jess: Okay. Can you give me something like that for the last few months of my life? Sorry. Years, actually. Honestly, this would've never happened if my friend hadn't wheeled away while I was peeing in the alley…

Abortionist: Let's return to the procedure. So, it's gonna take less than 15 minutes, and then you're gonna have a bit of time to rest before you go home. Do you have any questions?

Jess: No, but here's some advice. Don't get married. You'll never have sеx again. And when you do, it will be like a chore you have to schedule on the family calendar, like a dental cleaning. You'll never feel wanted or desired in the same way.

Things become even more strange as the abortionist reassures Jess that the abortion is “just like taking a nap,” and the two begin to creepily sing together to a cover of Britney Spears’ song “Toxic,” which was kind of apropos for the moment:

Dr. Sabri: Have you ever had any kind of anesthesia or sedation before?

Jess: Um, just once. My wisdom teeth in high school. My mom said I was slurring and asking why there's no Mr. America. Obviously, there's no Mr. America. Mr. America is just, like, the president. Women have to be in a G*ddamn swimsuit competition our whole lives.

Dr. Sabri: Are you ready? You're gonna do great. We're gonna take great care of you. Okay. We're gonna get those meds started now, and they're gonna relax you and you'll be all done before you know it.

Jess: It's just like taking a nap, right?

Dr. Sabi: Exactly. ♪ There's no escape, I can't wait ♪ I need a hit, baby, give me it ♪ You're dangerous, I'm lovin' it

Both: ♪ Too high, can't come down… Round ♪ ♪ Can you feel me now? ♪ ♪ With a taste of your lips ♪ ♪ I'm on a ride ♪ ♪ You're toxic, I'm slippin' under ♪ ♪ With a taste of your poison paradise ♪ ♪

Dr. Sabi: ♪ I'm addicted to you ♪ ♪ Don't you know that you're toxic? ♪

On the ride home, Beth decides to distract Jess with a vulgar joke. When Jess arrives home, it’s sadly obvious her husband has no idea his wife just killed their unborn child:

Beth: How do you feel?

Jess: Better.

Beth: Should we go and get f*cking completely hammered somewhere and just kinda, like, eat each other out?

Jess: I was hoping you would ask! We should.

Beth: I feel like this is a good time.

Jess: Let's eat each other out. Make a left.

Bryan: Hey! You're home early.

Jess: Yeah. Hi. They, um, canceled my last day of seminars, so I came home. I just…I really wanted to be home.

Bryan: Yeah, I'm sure. You've really been running around a lot. Hair looks nice.

Jess: Thank you.

Bryan: But, Jess, there's something we need to talk about. No more secrets. I extended the lease on the Chrysler Pacifica. I know I should've talked to you about it first. I shouldn't have gone behind your back. I didn't wanna have the whole Kia Sedona discussion all over again, and I'm sorry.

In addition to the abortion propaganda, there was also a ton of anti-white racism throughout the entire season from Beth’s good friend Maya (Yamaneika Saunders). Here’s a rundown of all the racist lines:

  • “No, wait, I'm not gonna have my trip white-jacked…That's when white people take over a black experience!”
  • “This is the opposite of Essence Fest. This is Herbal Essence Fest…LaVar, Denisha, if you wanna have some melanated fun, come join me.”
  • “You look like a little angel, despite your white lady shenanigans.”
  • (On therapy) “So, you know, black people don't do that.”
  • “I don't wanna be a (sic) angry black woman. Look at Helen. Little white b*tch. She can do whatever she wants. I'm in all these white spaces. What about my face says ‘white spaces’”?
  • (Beth, after reading Caste): “Did you know that we're, like, fully living in a white supremacy and always have been?
  • “Some white b*tch asked me to massage her aura.”
  • (On opioids) “Everyone gets addicted to this sh*t. Everyone. Especially white folks.”

Yeah, we’re not laughing. Because there’s nothing funny about racism, no matter who it’s directed toward.