Rising sea levels!

Sweltering temperatures!

Deeper droughts, and heavier downpours!

Hey, that looks like fun! Let me try. Here goes:

Saudi spring snowfall!

Plunging temperatures!

Frozen Australians!

One big difference in the two warnings, besides my reluctance to call for a massive government spending program, is that mine have actually been happening on a big scale recently as I reported in NewsBusters. The prior group of warnings have been issued by Seth Borenstein who is quickly earning the well-deserved reputation as the Global Warming Baghdad Bob of the Associate Press. No matter what the actual climate conditions the world is experiencing, Borenstein will continue to engage in Global Warming alarmism to the extreme. Here is Baghdad Borenstein performing his latest act in which he uses the White House climate change report as his prop:

WASHINGTON — Rising sea levels, sweltering temperatures, deeper droughts, and heavier downpours _ global warming's serious effects are already here and getting worse, the Obama administration warned on Tuesday in the grimmest, most urgent language on climate change ever to come out of any White House.

The story, as is typical with Borenstein, quickly slips into apocalyptic mode:

"It's not too late to act," said Jane Lubchenco, one of several agency officials at a White House briefing. "Decisions made now will determine whether we get big changes or small ones." But what has happened already is not good, she said: "It's happening in our own backyards and it affects the kind of things people care about."

Lubchenco, a marine biologist, heads the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

In one of its key findings, the report warned: "Thresholds will be crossed, leading to large changes in climate and ecosystems." The survival of some species could be affected, it said.

Don't hold back, Seth. Go ahead and include the survival of the human species is at risk if we don't spend hundred of billions on fighting global warming as many alarmists have suggested. However, how does Borenstein and others like him explain away the widespread reports during the past year of much cooler than normal temperatures? Simple. They simply ignore it as you can see in this money quote:

The document, a climate status report required periodically by Congress, was a collaboration by about three dozen academic, government and institute scientists. It contains no new research, but it paints a fuller and darker picture of global warming in the United States than previous studies.

Got that? The report contains no new research. The case is closed as far as the global warming alarmists as Borenstein is concerned. No need to pay attention to any contrary facts hidden in plain sight. Global warming has been declared an official dogma of the left and no "heresy" is allowed. Go straight to massive government programs and toss hundreds of billions of dollars on a non-existent problem.

In case you think there is a possibility that the global warming alarmists might be open to change in light of the cooling global temperatures, Baghdad Borenstein "assures" us that their minds are completely closed on this subject:

"The observed climate changes that we report are not opinions to be debated. They are facts to be dealt with," said one of the report's chief authors, Jerry Melillo of Marine Biological Lab in Woods Hole, Mass. "We can act now to avoid the worst impacts."

They have their "facts," and no other facts will be allowed to interefere with their predetermined conclusion. Here is but one example of a "fact" that is not to be altered by reality:

For example, winters in parts of the Midwest have warmed by 7 degrees in just 30 years and the frost-free period has grown a week, the report said.

And that "fact" must stand despite this report from The WGN weather blog in Chicago:

The cloudy, chilly and rainy open to June here has been the talk of the town. So far this June is running more than 12 degrees cooler than last year, and the clouds, rain and chilly lake winds have been persistent. The average temperature at O'Hare International Airport through Friday has been only 59.5 degrees: nearly 7 degrees below normal and the coldest since records there began 50 years ago.

Oh, and did you know that it recently snowed in North Dakota in June but just tell Borenstein to avert his eyes.

Here is more from Baghdad Borenstein:

They can penetrate our borders but they cannot reach Baghdad.

The stupid enemy, the Americans and British, failed completely.

Oops! I accidentally channeled Baghdad Bob. Here is Baghdad Borenstein in his latest report:

The "major disruptions" already taking place will only increase as warming continues, the authors wrote. The world's average temperature may rise by as much as 11.5 degrees by the end of the century, the report said. And the U.S. average temperature could go even higher than that, Karl said.

Borenstein has a well-deserved reputation as being a serial exaggerator and fibber. NewsBusters' Noel Sheppard has previously reported on his classic quotes. Here are a few examples:

Ultimately, rising seas will likely swamp the first American settlement in Jamestown, Va., as well as the Florida launch pad that sent the first American into orbit, many climate scientists are predicting. 

Rising waters will lap at the foundations of old money Wall Street and the new money towers of Silicon Valley. They will swamp the locations of big city airports and major interstate highways. 

Storm surges worsened by sea level rise will flood the waterfront getaways of rich politicians-the Bushes' Kennebunkport and John Edwards' place on the Outer Banks. And gone will be many of the beaches in Texas and Florida favored by budget-conscious students on Spring Break.

These are but a few golden nuggets from Baghdad Borenstein. And now he even has an understudy in the global warming alarmism department. ABC meteorologist Sam Champion who did a fantastic Baghdad Borenstein impression on Good Morning America as relayed by Mark Finkelstein of NewsBusters:

If you're thinking of retiring in Florida, think twice. Sea levels are expected to rise three to five feet by late this century.

Unfortunately for all these global warming alarmists, Mother Nature just does not seem to be cooperating with their dire forecasts which is going to make their jobs much more difficult. Baghdad Bob, meet Baghdad Borenstein.

—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.