Wheee!!!
Break out the champagne! Put on your party hats! ABC News has announced that we now have the highest gasoline prices ever for March.
Huh? So why the celebrations? Because to watch joyful GMA host George Stephanopoulos in the video below the fold you would think we should all be happy because despite the gloomy news about the high gasoline prices, they MIGHT come down soon. First the harsh reality about current gasoline prices as reported by Zunaira Zaki in this ABC News business blog:
The average price of a gallon of regular is now $3.87, the highest recorded price in March. The average price is up nearly 4 cents from a week ago, and over 30 cents from a year ago, according to the Department of Energy, as more drivers face gas prices of $4 a gallon or more across the country.
The most bizarre thing about this report on the highest gas prices ever in March is that the video of the upbeat Stephanopoulos appears on the same page as the downbeat news. Here is a partial transcript of Stephanopoulos radiating practiced happiness along with a report by Bianna Golodryga. Keep in mind that it is not enough to just read the transcipt. You need to watch the video above to fully appreciate just how much the giddy Stephanopoulos is bubbling over with joy anticipating a supposed future drop in gasoline prices:
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: Encouraging news on gas prices. New indications this morning that they may have peaked. ABC's Bianna Golodryga, we just introduced her, she's here with that report. And it all starts in California.
BIANNA GOLODRYGA: That's right. That state has suffered the most. That state really sets the tone for gas prices for the rest of the nation. They're at $4.36 a gallon now but there is some good news because the key ingredient, a special ingredient, called CARBOB has actually gone down some 50 cents over the past month. Now that's because a new refinery has finally come back up into production and there's hope that is going to spread across the country. So this CARBOB is the special ingredient that...
STEPHANOPOULOS: That's what everybody is looking at. On top of that some news out of the Middle East. Saudi Arabia, the world's biggest oil producer, may be stepping in to fill in the gap if Iran isn't able to export oil.
GOLODRYGA: That's right. You know, so much of of this depends on trader's mentality. They like to [garbled] so we saw the price of oil go down overnight as well so we saw this one-two punch of good news overnight.
STEPHANOPOULOS: And of course that could mean good news for the overall economy as well. So far high gas prices haven't hurt the consumers but a fear if they continue to go up they will.
"So far high gas prices haven't hurt the consumers?" Well, if you say so George then it MUST be true. I would hate to be the one to rain on your little Possible Gas Price Drop Party.
Adding to the surreal happy act of Stephanapoulos was this screen caption as both he and Golodryga were giddily reporting that gas prices MIGHT drop in the future:
DEVELOPING NEWS
GAS PRICES DROP
HOW MUCH WILL YOU SAVE AT THE PUMP?
So why does Stephanopoulos set himself up for such easy ridicule on the heels of the ABC News business blog informing us about the highest ever March gasoline prices? As Scott Whitlock of Newsbusters reported last month, Stephanopolous griped that rising gas prices "is something they think they can exploit." "They" meaning Republicans so Stephanopolous seems to now counter the bad news of rising gas prices by putting improbably positive spins on such news.
I enjoyed the unintentional humor of the GMA caption about the "drop" in the gas prices that never actually dropped so much that I am going to give it an encore here with my own appropriate Orwellian twist at the end in italics:
DEVELOPING NEWS
GAS PRICES DROP
HOW MUCH WILL YOU SAVE AT THE PUMP?
CHOCOLATE RATION RAISED TO 20 GRAMS
