In a move amusingly reminiscent of Joseph Stalin's Soviet Russia, NBC News has removed the image of suspended anchor Brian Williams from its Apple iTunes podcast. In the old Soviet Union, when a party member was purged, his photographic images were also sent down the memory hole in the form of being airbrushed out of official pictures. A similar fate appears to be happening to Brian Williams according to a UPI report about Williams being airbrushed out of NBC News history.
Despite the fact that Williams' obituary has already been declared, let us not feel too sorry for him. After all it is estimated that Williams will receive an NBC News farewell gift of between $20 million and $30 million for doing nothing. That's right. In exchange for not showing up at work Brian Williams will have an enormous payday. Most folks would rejoice at that deal. However, if Williams still feels upset, then he should consider the fate of commissar (and former purge prosecutor) Nikolai Yezhov who was airbrushed out of official Soviet history in the pictures below. After being purged and imprisoned by Stalin, Yezhov was eventually executed. So, Brian, imagine the joy of comrade Yezhov if Stalin had visited his jail cell after his purging and told him that he not only would be released but also given $20 million and the freedom to travel wherever he wished. Yezhov would have thought he had died (by non-execution) and gone to Brian Williams heaven.
NEW YORK, May 2 (UPI) -- Fueling further speculation that newsman Brian Williams won't be returning to the NBC Nightly News after his suspension, the network has reportedly removed the anchor from an image that accompanies the program's podcast on iTunes.
Before the change, Williams' picture was attached to the podcast along with the title, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. But that has been replaced by a more generic image that simply advertises NBC Nightly News on Apple's iTunes.
The branding change is the latest sign that the longtime network newsman may not return to the anchor's chair once his six-month suspension is up in August. Williams received the suspension in February after an inaccurate report from 2003 on the Iraq War was brought to NBC's attention.
Still feeling depressed, Brian? Well, in one of his former lives your humble correspondent conducted a highly informal stress clinic in California. He would take overworked executives out into the offshore kelp beds and serve as their spearfishing guide. As a stress reliever it was much more effective than drugs or yakking from a couch to an overpaid shrink. Similarly, I offer you my services once again for a spearfishing expedition at an almost unknown Caribbean island (not Sex Fiend Island). We'll hit the clear blue tropical waters, spear fish all day, drink mucha Medalla at night, and then lie about the sizes of the fish we shot.
Exit question: How many milliseconds will pass before somebody photoshops Brian Williams into one of the above Stalin purge pics?
