Pink News: Men Can Have Periods Too!

July 29th, 2019 2:48 PM

Add “feminine hygiene products” to the list of anti-PC obscenities, you backwards bigots, because men with lady parts may get offended. The girlishly-named Pink News is leading the charge against overly feminine labels with transgender YouTuber Jamie Raines at the mantle. In an interview published on July 25th, the pseudo-heroic Raines explained that periods are not exclusive to females, making the case against “female-orientated” sanitary products.

“Not only women experience periods,” said Raines, a woman who became a man. “Trans guys can experience periods and non-binary people can as well.” An unenlightened, transphobic miscreant may immediately question how this is possible, considering that periods necessitate certain equipment that biological males do not possess. 

Preaching from the pulpit of a comfy yellow chair, Raines proclaimed: “One of the biggest misconceptions is that periods are only experienced by women. But in reality, trans men are real men -- we’re just born a little bit different to other guys.” 

“A little bit different,” -- meaning that they lack the sexual organs that naturally distinguishes men from women.



Tugging on heartstrings, Raines bemoaned “it can be quite hard to navigate having periods as a guy when everything to do with periods is aimed very much towards women and is very female-orientated and all the advertising and packages and all of that stuff.” Cue the sad violin music. 

Raines’ first period was so traumatic that the scene is forever burned into memory -- clear as day:

I can’t remember exactly how old I was, but I was likely somewhere between 12 and 14. I just remember it took me completely by shock [...] Whenever it happened, I felt completely frozen and very very down for the entire time it happened.

Probably what every other girl experiences, but oh well.

Miraculously, as soon as Raines started taking testosterone, the oppressive periods finally ceased. “It was just like this huge weight lifted.” This golden age of freedom lasted for about three years until Raines switched to a different testosterone treatment. During this transition phase, Raines experienced “a little reappearance of a period.” 

Eventually, Raines got over having periods -- or as Pink News put it -- “survived” having periods. Still, buying the proper hygiene products makes Raines uncomfortable (oh, the horror!). To prevent this obvious human rights abuse, transphobic companies need to get with the program. It’s 2019: men can get pregnant and have abortions. Get used to it or get banned from Twitter