On the July 25 episode of Loaded, "Leon's Teacher," we see the characters who just sold their startup company for millions trying to navigate their new-found wealth by finding out what it can and cannot buy.
Leon goes back to his old school hoping to show up a teacher who never believed in him only to discover that the teacher is dying of cancer. The show takes place in Britain, so Leon assumes that, with his money, he can buy this former teacher, Mr. Young, better treatment than England's National Health Service (NHS) can offer - not because he cares, but because saving his life will be the ultimate revenge.
While many around the world criticize American healthcare for creating a gap between the haves and the have-nots, this episode highlights the much greater gap that exists between those groups in countries with socialized medicine. In those countries, there is still very much a market for private healthcare, as Leon well knows, but one has to be very wealthy in order to afford it. After all, they are already paying huge amounts in income taxes to support the National Health Service (as well as other programs these countries tend to have that mean higher taxes) so they are, essentially, paying for healthcare twice. As celebrated as the NHS is by those in Britain, Leon seems to have no question that a private doctor will get Mr. Young much better results and that his money will secure greater treatment. Doesn't that go against every argument for single payer?
But in this case, what Mr. Young wants isn't the best treatment money can buy, but a trip to Switzerland - to a posh euthanasia clinic.
Warning: Language
Leon: -jump straight in?
Mr. Young: What is this?
Leon: This is the top oncologist in London. He's basically the Louis Hamilton of oncologists.
Doctor: Well, you know, it's not like we're officially ranked or anything.
Leon: He's gonna look you over, and it's all on me.
Mr. Young: Right, I see. This is big of you.
Leon: Hey, I love to give. Forget hipster Bono. I'm the bearded Mandela. I'm gonna take care of your cancer.
Doctor: Before we get into this, can we talk about your current diagnosis?
Mr. Young: Lung. Non-small cell. Stage four.
Doctor: And would you happen to --
Mr. Young: m1b. I have all the bumps somewhere. Not on me. Didn't know I was gonna be ambushed by Louis Hamilton, Oncology Ninja.
Doctor: And obviously I'm assuming you've had a prognosis.
Leon: All right. So, what do we do?
Mr. Young: Do you want to tell him the good news, or can I? Unlucky, skid mark. Your money's no good here.
Doctor: I'd need to look deeper into his -- This isn't strictly what I'd call a standard consultation.
Leon: Mate, we don't want the regular chemo. We want the premium shit -- the Premo chemo.
Obviously, I'll make it worth your time.Mr. Young: Okay, so you're bribing an oncologist.
Doctor: If what your friend here is telling me is true --
Leon: Not my friend. ...
Doctor: Then sadly, the options are very limited. I'm assuming you've been down this road.
Leon: There must be something I can do.
Mr. Young: Apparently, there's a big laser on the moon, and if you fly up there and fire it right down the tip of your penis, you get to live forever.
Leon: So, there's nothing I can do?
Mr. Young: Actually, there is one thing you can do for me. You can send me there. Nice little euthanasia clinic in Switzerland. I looked it up on Tripadvisor. Apparently the breakfasts are lovely.
When Leon discusses it with his friends, they have a bit of a more moral perspective. While Leon uses all the euphamisms pro-euthanasia advocates use, his friends cut to the chase, pointing out the basic fact that "he's a person" and "you're paying to have a man killed."
Leon: He wants me to end it all, have him humanely destroyed or whatever.
Josh: He's not a horse, Leon. He's a person.
Ewan: Oh, man, that's huge. And it's how much, out of interest? How much does one pay to kill his old teacher?
Leon: 10 grand.
Watto: You know, a hit man would probably work out cheaper.
Leon: I'm not hiring a hit man, Watto.
Watto: Well, I'm not thinking of, like, a shanking. I'm thinking maybe get a disgruntled nhs nurse to do it with pillows.
Josh: Leon, you can't do this.
Leon: Why not? I'm doing a good thing.
Josh: No, you're not.
Leon: I'm paying to end a man's suffering.
Josh: You're paying to have a man killed.
Leon: Exactly. Same thing.
Watto: No, it's not! It's very much a different thing! If you grab a woman from behind because she is choking on an onion, fine. But if you grab a woman from behind because you're feeling a little bit saucy, not fine. Awful.
Josh: Exactly! Sort of. Same moral ballpark.
Unortunately, Mr. Young has his way, and he's sent off to Switzerland.
