Left-Wing Think Tank Complains of Bulgarian Hooker Shortage

Are you sitting back sipping your wine, watching baseball and thinking global warming probably won’t affect you? Think again, says the liberal think tank Center For American Progress. CAP put out a list of “The Top 100 Effects of Global Warming.” I’ve done the job of pulling a few highlights from this list:

“Say Goodbye to Baseball
The ash tree – from which all baseball bats are made – is in danger of disappearing, thanks to a combination of killer beetles and global warming.”

“Say Hello to Bulgarian Hooker Shortages
‘Brothel owners in Bulgaria are blaming global warming for staff shortages. They claim their best girls are working in ski resorts because a lack of snow has forced tourists to seek other pleasures.’”

“The Oceans are Turning to Acid
It sounds like a really bad sci-fi movie, but it’s true: The oceans are turning to acid! Oceans absorb CO2 which, when mixed with seawater, turns to a weak carbonic acid. Calcium from eroded rocks creates a ‘natural buffer’ against the acid, and most marine life is ‘finely tuned’ to the current balance. As we produce more and more CO2, we throw the whole balance out of whack and the oceans turn to acid.”

“Genocide in Sudan
U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon charges, ‘Amid the diverse social and political causes, the Darfur conflict began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change.’”

So let’s get this straight. Baseball will cease to exist because they might have to switch the wood they use for the majority of their bats? Also, since when is a prostitute “shortage” a bad thing? Some others on the list:

Say Goodbye to Christmas Trees
Farewell to Cute Koala Bears Say Goodbye to French Wines

Say Goodbye to Meadows of Wildflowers
Say Goodbye to That Tropical Island Vacation
Say Goodbye to Discoveries of Sharks That Can Walk

However, this alarmist rhetoric shouldn’t come as a surprise. This George Soros-sponsored think tank is run by a liberal operative from the Clinton White House named John Podesta. Tom Daschle is listed as a “distinguished fellow.”

These people must be a left-wing alarmist fringe group that no one takes seriously, right? Well, a quick Nexis search shows that between ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CNN, CAP has been used or cited 101 times since the beginning of the year.

CAP also started the “Clean My Ride” project. “Clean My Ride” was put together to advocate ethanol and other “clean fuels” and to influence Congress to tighten the CAFÉ (Corporate Average Fuel Economy) standards for cars, light trucks, and SUVs. CAP put together a series of videos with such notable actors as Matt Damon (dressed as a gas pump), Ben Affleck (dressed as an ear of corn), and Jason Biggs (who touts the wonders of Brazil’s sugar cane ethanol program).

-Stuart James is a Research Analyst at the Business & Media Institute.