Are you sitting back sipping your wine, watching baseball and thinking global warming probably won’t affect you? Think again, says the liberal think tank Center For American Progress. CAP put out a list of “The Top 100 Effects of Global Warming.” I’ve done the job of pulling a few highlights from this list:
“Say Goodbye to Baseball
The ash tree – from which all baseball bats are made – is in danger of disappearing, thanks to a combination of killer beetles and global warming.”
“Say Hello to Bulgarian Hooker Shortages
‘Brothel owners in Bulgaria are blaming global warming for staff shortages. They claim their best girls are working in ski resorts because a lack of snow has forced tourists to seek other pleasures.’”
“The Oceans are Turning to Acid
It sounds like a really bad sci-fi movie, but it’s true: The oceans are turning to acid! Oceans absorb CO2 which, when mixed with seawater, turns to a weak carbonic acid. Calcium from eroded rocks creates a ‘natural buffer’ against the acid, and most marine life is ‘finely tuned’ to the current balance. As we produce more and more CO2, we throw the whole balance out of whack and the oceans turn to acid.”
“Genocide in Sudan
U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon charges, ‘Amid the diverse social and political causes, the Darfur conflict began as an ecological crisis, arising at least in part from climate change.’”
So let’s get this straight. Baseball will cease to exist because they might have to switch the wood they use for the majority of their bats? Also, since when is a prostitute “shortage” a bad thing? Some others on the list:
Say Goodbye to Christmas Trees
Farewell to Cute Koala Bears Say Goodbye to French Wines
Say Goodbye to Meadows of Wildflowers
Say Goodbye to That Tropical Island Vacation
Say Goodbye to Discoveries of Sharks That Can Walk
However, this alarmist rhetoric shouldn’t come as a surprise. This George Soros-sponsored think tank is run by a liberal operative from the Clinton White House named John Podesta. Tom Daschle is listed as a “distinguished fellow.”
These people must be a left-wing alarmist fringe group that no one takes seriously, right? Well, a quick Nexis search shows that between ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CNN, CAP has been used or cited 101 times since the beginning of the year.
CAP also started the “Clean My Ride” project. “Clean My Ride” was put together to advocate ethanol and other “clean fuels” and to influence Congress to tighten the CAFÉ (Corporate Average Fuel Economy) standards for cars, light trucks, and SUVs. CAP put together a series of videos with such notable actors as Matt Damon (dressed as a gas pump), Ben Affleck (dressed as an ear of corn), and Jason Biggs (who touts the wonders of Brazil’s sugar cane ethanol program).
-Stuart James is a Research Analyst at the Business & Media Institute.
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Oh NO.... The sky is
October 8, 2007 - 15:12 ET by bigtimerOh NO....
The sky is falling too!
ROFLMAO!
Well I just might have to
October 8, 2007 - 15:17 ET by PamGet a Bulgarian (male) hooker to take to the islands, to sit on the beach with me, and share a bottle French wine, as we watch for walking sharks!
Pam, I not speek or
October 8, 2007 - 17:57 ET by kdoliverPam, I not speek or rite english to good. But I like French Wine. LOL.
http://thelazytriathlete.blogspot.com/
Effect 101
October 8, 2007 - 15:30 ET by Lame CherryI suppose their lament is over prostitues as the term "hooker" involves a female who drugs a man, goes back to his room, robs him and then leaves without sex.............unless liberals and Europeans conclude that being robbed is a good thing.
In that darkness, I will presume effect 101 liberals will lament it is so hot in Thailand now that all the pedophiles have left those poor children alone to be normal instead of molested by rich liberals from America.
Still would very much enjoy hearing one liberal expose their pedophile associates as they are out there and Bill Maher, Keith Olberman etc... all know who gets stationed overseas in these places and are abusing kids just like the UN soldiers are only being covered by like minded pedophiles in "peace keeping nations".
*HIC IACET ARTORIVS REX QVONDAM REXQVE FVTVRVS
Grasping for Straws
October 8, 2007 - 15:34 ET by Jerry MackI would like to add "Grasping for Straws" to their list.
Sharks on wheels?
October 8, 2007 - 15:46 ET by Chris Norman"Say Goodbye to Discoveries of Sharks That Can Walk"
With the oceans turning to acid, they actually have discovered sharks on little wheeled crawlers...
What a load of contrived, alarmist BS!
October 8, 2007 - 15:44 ET by RJA quick scan shows many items on their lists to be ridiculous extreme "what ifs" and others to be outright lies.
For example, I recall tourists in Maine complaining last summer about the unusually cold waters that lobsters love. (It was blamed on Global Warming, by the way!) And in Connecticut the lobster population is rebounding after a disasterous die-off a few years ago. The cause is still being investigated, but GW isn't one of the items under consideration.
Typical socialist fear-mongering. "Bring in bigger government to solve the problem we tell you is there!"
I dont know why you say goodbye.....
October 8, 2007 - 16:15 ET by third eyeSay Hello to Global Laming
Say Goodbye to Christmas Trees
Farewell to Cute Koala Bears Say Goodbye to French Wines
Say Goodbye to Meadows of Wildflowers
Say Goodbye to That Tropical Island Vacation
Say Goodbye to Discoveries of Sharks That Can Walk
Remember, the only way to avoid these and many other ills, is paying for "Carbon Credits" from a certified "Carbon Credits" high priest. As always, I will be holding all my farts in, because I cant afford any more CCs.
This is actually very funny
October 8, 2007 - 17:15 ET by wiwfThis is actually very funny stuff! Too bad they take this stuff for cereal and think it's real...
The Rocky Mountain Collegian: Illustrating Idiocy
Neocons
October 8, 2007 - 19:53 ET by third eyeYes I'm as upset as you are. Some of those selfish neocons actually go around farting without paying the obligatory "Carbon Credits" to their environmental counselors. I mean could they be more selfish? Could they care less about our fragile eco-system? What has the world come to? Global warming is a fact, and every fart is one step closer to total and complete devastaion. Methane producing neocons, I hope they burn in hell.
Basic chemistry
October 8, 2007 - 17:36 ET by dervishwould tell that nimrod that by the same logic, decreasing the CO2 in the atmosphere will cause the ocean's pH to go up, and the fish don't like that any better. Everything will turn to lutefisk! NOW what do we do?
Add-on
October 8, 2007 - 19:41 ET by SeptemberGlobal Warming Effect #101:
Say good-bye to critical thinking. It sounds like a really bad scifi movie, but little minds will indeed be taken over by even littler minds. It’s true; brains are
turning to acid! Brains absorb junk science, which, when mixed with religious-like dogma,
turns brains into a weak, mushy acid. Then calcium from eroded reading and comprehension skills create a
‘natural buffer’ against intelligence, so most AGW believers are ‘finely brainwashed’ to the current balance. As AGW believers produce more and more acid, they
throw the whole balance out of whack and their brains turn to mush.”
Fascinating
October 8, 2007 - 19:38 ET by SeptemberYou know, after altering the original entry from the 100 list, I realize how the language is dumbed down. I felt like I was writing to a second grader. Guess that's who CAP thinks they're talking to. Thanks CAP writers. Your list was a hoot.
“Say Goodbye to Baseball
October 8, 2007 - 21:25 ET by dvdaughtry“Say Goodbye to Baseball
The ash tree – from which all baseball bats are made – is in danger of disappearing, thanks to a combination of killer beetles and global warming.”
ALL bats are not ash. More and more big leaguers are swinging maple and that is not even Carolina Club and Louisville Slugger.
They can't even get that right.
Well, for once, the rich white man is in control. --Montgomery Burns
Re: Say Goodbye to Baseball
October 9, 2007 - 23:03 ET by brendan_psuThat was my immediate reaction - lots of bats nowadays are maple. The Pirates' radio commentators discussed how, upon breaking, ash bats splinter, while maple bats shatter. I know this wasn't the focus of the story, but it's a glaring error if you're a student of baseball.
If you consider that they can't even get the unimportant (and easy) facts of baseball bats correct, how are we expected to accept the authenticity of their other claims?
Stupid beetles...
October 9, 2007 - 23:10 ET by balboaStupid beetles...
Ash trees disappearing?
October 8, 2007 - 23:14 ET by echojackFunniest thing. Ash trees are growing like weeds on my little farm. My friend that runs it was complaining that they are taking over. I didn't realize how valuable they are. We're going to have to start a baseball bat factory.