Conservative Basher Charles Barkley on DUI Arrest: All I Really Wanted Was Oral Sex

When last seen in NewsBusters, former NBA star Charles Barkley was in the midst of a conservative bashing spree as you can see here smearing Fox News with this quote:

I watch CNN, they’re not f***ed up like Fox,” Barkley told B&C.  “They are a mouthpiece for the Republican Party. I watch [Fox] a couple times when there is someone I want to see on there. But they’re corrupt."

This was on the heels of Barkley bashing conservatives a few months earlier on CNN  as "fake Christians":

Hey, I live in Arizona. I have got great respect for Senator McCain. Great respect. But I don’t like the way the Republicans are taking this country. Every time I hear the word "conservative," it makes me sick to my stomach, because they’re really just fake Christians, as I call them. That’s all they are. But I just — I’m going to vote Democratic no matter what.

Well, Barkley has just proven that he is truly a liberal by avoiding responsibility for his DUI arrest yesterday by blaming the fact that he ran a stop sign on his anxiety to get oral sex. Here is Barkley's claim as reported by TMZ (emphasis mine):

This may be the very best police report of 2008. When Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona early this morning for DUI, he told cops he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get some oral sex.

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."

The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a 'b**w job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he helped "get him out of the DUI." According to the report, "He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, 'I'll tattoo your name on my ass' and then laughed again."

The report also says officers "found a handgun in the vehicle" which was immediately impounded. The report doesn't say if the handgun was legal or not, and the only thing that we know for sure was loaded...

You can find the actual arrest report over at The Smoking Gun. So conservatives are "corrupt" and "fake?" Class act, Charles, but thanks for the laughs!

(Photo Credit: Getty)

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.