With Saturday's revelation that the hit television series "24" has gone carbon neutral, it only seems logical that some episodes next year might involve characters advancing anti-global warming principles or taking green measures to protect the environment.
Some have suggested lead character Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland, might drive a Toyota Prius, for example.
Well, taking the possibilities to a conceivably absurd level for their comedic potential, NB member AGW Heretic has penned a wonderful idea that I certainly hope the good, green folks at Fox will consider for the upcoming season:
- The administration of Wayne Palmer and Noah Daniels is out, and the new president is ideologically similar to Al Gore.
- The definition of terrorism has been expanded to include actions by individuals, corporations or other organizations that "unnecessarily" increase greenhouse gases in the atmosphere.
- CTU, naturally, has been tasked with enforcing the new regulations in the Los Angeles area.
- Early-season incidents include hero Jack Bauer kneecapping an SUV driver and interrogating a homeowner who failed to offset his air conditioner usage.
- Midway through the season, Middle East radicals murder all of the students in a biological attack on an elementary school, but because the attackers manage to pull off their operation with a minimal carbon footprint, the incident ends up being left for local law enforcement to handle.
I sincerely hope that said Middle East radicals, after being found guilty of mass murder, will have their sentences suspended due to the great lengths they went to save the environment.
After all, the worst kind of terrorism is eco-terrorism!
Thanks, Tim.
—Noel Sheppard is the Associate Editor of NewsBusters. Follow him at Facebook and Twitter.
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24
July 25, 2007 - 15:11 ET by the mad poleDoes Jack Bauer get drug tested as part of his occupation? I've never seen the show
Jack would never take
July 25, 2007 - 16:28 ET by Jack BauerJack would never take drugs.
Except that one time when the fate of the world hung on him trippin' man.
Jack the addict
July 25, 2007 - 16:39 ET by dagdaRemember that the key was that Jack was taking them on his own. He did not have to take them. And then he was not too fast on the trigger to get off them.
Our real problem, then, is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow. Dwight Eisenhower
How about a little over
July 25, 2007 - 15:25 ET by Airforce_5_OHow about a little over half way it is revealed that the President is actually producing one of the largest carbon foot prints in his home state. It is also discovered he has secret ties to a Carbon Offset Corp. which turns out to be a false premise and will not save the planet. It is only a way for them to make money and hold the country hostage.
Upon these facts Jack has to assassinate the President
The only thing you should feel when shooting insurgents is the rifle recoil.
Nuclear plot line
July 25, 2007 - 15:28 ET by habbyguyAnother possible plot line - Jack and the CTU uncover yet another plot to nuke a couple US cities.
Only now, fully understanding that such an attack would not only reduce the greenhouse gas emission by those cities, but that the ensuing nuclear winter would actually provide a big enough "carbon offset effect" to retroactively meet the US Kyoto goals.
So, as a plethora of local, state and federal agencies try to apprehend and thwart the destruction of the American cities, Jack and company do their breathless best to ensure that the bombs do go off.
Jack: "Chloe, I need you to tap into the PDA of the FBI agent in charge, right now"
Chloe: "Jack, he's running a XB4 milspec security overlay on his PDA - it's gonna take me 20 seconds to crack it"
Jack: "Dammit"
Short but Sweet post! I
July 25, 2007 - 15:29 ET by rob6677Short but Sweet post! I would love to see Jack trying to hurry to someone's rescue on a bicycle (a Prius still has to be manufactured by discarbonly methods!!!). I hope I just invented a new word, maybe that qualifies me to be carbon neutral? I can now die a happy man. Wait, I can't be buried though, thats not eco-friendly, can't be cremated I'll increase carbon dioxide. Will it ever end?
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana!" Groucho
Count me out
July 25, 2007 - 16:08 ET by pickerseniorLooks like this will be the last season due to lack of interest. I don't know why Vince flynn "Act of Treason" degraded himself to consult for this show which has wandered off point. What does the myth of human contribution to global warming have to do with a show like this anyway?
"if liberals didn't live it, it doesn't exist."
Pickersenior
Re: Count me out
July 25, 2007 - 16:14 ET by AGW HereticWhat does the myth of human contribution to global warming have to do with a show like this anyway?
Nothing at all -- which is why I'm curious to see how they'll fulfill their promise to weave global warming activism into the storyline.
Tim
http://agw-heretic.blogspot.com
24
July 25, 2007 - 16:52 ET by Gordon SchumwayChloe,
Upload that data to my PDA.
Gordo
Melmac
Just once
July 25, 2007 - 16:57 ET by dagdaI would love to hear Jack say, "I cannot get a signal in this area, we will have to wait until we are closer to a signal tower."
Our real problem, then, is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow. Dwight Eisenhower
Was Al Gore's son testing
July 25, 2007 - 17:19 ET by Chris NormanSay, maybe Al Gore's son was testing the Prius to see if went fast enough for a "24" chase sequence...
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Jack be Nimble, Jack be Quick. Jack jump over the Hockey Stick.
July 25, 2007 - 18:53 ET by krismcsherryToo funny. Haven't watched 24 for years but I'm sure your new scenario will be a carbon-friendly solution to cancellation.
I suggest building up an alternate universe for the new Green Jack (who has been seduced by a beautiful IPPC member) wherein anyone who questions AGW is not allowed to speak out and faces imprisonment.
On second thought, no. No one would buy that story line because truth can not be stranger than fiction.
Maybe they should take his
July 25, 2007 - 19:03 ET by AJMaybe they should take his gun away and give him a taser. Afterall, the repeated firing of smokeless gunpowder will generate enough poisonous emissions to destroy three blades of grass in a farm field in southern Minnesota. Too damaging, I say. Get him the taser or I might have to take action against the Fox production house. <- Blatant Sarcasm Off ->
Maybe Jack should try to
July 25, 2007 - 19:15 ET by Chris NormanMaybe Jack should try to understand the terrorists and their grievances. He should try talking to them. It's all just a big misunderstanding. At the end of the season there can be a big group hug, instead of mindless American-caused carnage. Say, maybe they can call it the first action/diplomacy show!
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Understand them?
July 25, 2007 - 19:18 ET by Free StinkerUnderstand them?
Heck, Jack should join them! After all, the USA is the real enemy of freedom & peace, aren't we?
/Sarcasm Off
Fred Thompson and Ann Coulter walk into a bar. The bar is instantly destroyed because that much awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Sure Free. See, after
July 25, 2007 - 19:27 ET by Chris NormanSure Free. See, after talking with them and understanding them, he will see that we are, indeed, "The Great Satans" and join them in jihad - what a series finale!
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Get him the taser Fine,
July 25, 2007 - 21:15 ET by dahliatraversGet him the taser
Fine, but only if it is solar-charged.
Education of those who believe in "Man-Made" Global Warming
July 26, 2007 - 00:58 ET by PopularTechGuys, you need to put this into perspective. Anytime I hear a new Celeb going "Green" I simply look up their credentials and it never fails...
Celebrities:
Alanis Morissette, High School Diploma
Alicia Keys, College Dropout
Alicia Silverstone, High School Dropout
Art Bell, College Dropout
Ben Stiller, College Dropout
Bill Maher, B.A. English (no science degree)
Bono (Paul Hewson), High School Diploma
Brad Pitt, College Dropout
Cameron Diaz, High School Dropout
Daryl Hanna, B.F.A. Theater (no science degree)
Diane Keaton, College Dropout
Drew Barrymore, High School Dropout
Ed Begley Jr., High School Diploma
George Clooney, College Dropout
Gwyneth Paltrow, College Dropout
John Travolta, High School Dropout
Jon Bon Jovi (John Bongiovi), High School Diploma
Joshua Jackson, High School Dropout
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, College Dropout
Keanu Reeves, High School Dropout
Kevin Bacon, High School Dropout
Kiefer Sutherland, High School Dropout
Leonardo DiCaprio, High School Dropout
Madonna (Madonna Ciccone), College Dropout
Matt Damon, College Dropout
Michael Moore, College Dropout
Nicole Richie, College Dropout
Olivia Newton-John, High School Dropout
Oprah Winfrey, B.A. Speech and Drama (no science degree)
Orlando Bloom, High School Dropout, B.A. Drama (no science degree)
Pierce Brosnan. High School Dropout
Richard Branson, High School Dropout
Robert Redford, College Dropout
Sheryl Crow, B.A. Music Education (no science degree)
Sienna Miller, High School Diploma
Willie Nelson, High School Dropout + College Dropout
The Anti "Man-Made" Global Warming Resource
}}}----> That is so cruel
July 26, 2007 - 01:08 ET by Cool ArrowYou just had to bring up credentials, didn't you?
Can't we keep it on a feeeelings basis?
As long as we're talking credentials...
July 26, 2007 - 08:34 ET by AGW HereticDon't forget:
Albert Gore, Divinity School Dropout
-----
Tim
http://agw-heretic.blogspot.com
}}}----> The lord thy Gore
July 26, 2007 - 08:44 ET by Cool ArrowSee how far he's come?
The Education of Al Gore
July 26, 2007 - 13:53 ET by PopularTechAh yes of course Al Gore:
Al Gore, B.A. Government (no higher degree achieved, no science degree)
Some College Highlights:
He received a D in Natural Sciences 6 in a course named "Man's Place in Nature.", C+ in Natural Sciences 118 and an F in Theology and Natural Science, one of five Fs Mr. Gore received at divinity school before dropping out.
The Anti "Man-Made" Global Warming Resource
First, a rare confession
July 26, 2007 - 06:43 ET by HelenSFirst, a rare confession from me: I have no clue what I'm talking about. In this case! because I've never watched the show (but have heard Rush rave about it periodically)
However, I won't let my ignorance stand in the way of the following conjecture: Could it be they have announced well in advance that this is their "jump the shark" season?
So long, farewell, amen?
It really seems as though they are intent on destroying a(n allegedly) good thing.
"Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war" - Shakespeare
Wouldn't this be something
July 26, 2007 - 06:57 ET by TotheRightofReaganWouldn't this be something similiar to what Clancy did with Rainbow Six. You know the whole man is evil for destorying mother Earth so lets put a disease out there that will wipe all the evil doers out and Mother Earth will be spared.
“Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have. “ – Ronald Reagan
the science-challenged
July 26, 2007 - 08:41 ET by krismcsherryPopularTech
Ooooooh, great list. I'll remember it. I've known this about many celebs on your list but tend to forget. They're made out to be so bright and shiny that I get blinded. Until they lose their luster.
The only way I'll watch...
July 26, 2007 - 10:20 ET by shannon20When they go green, is that they are their new enemy. That would be great if Jack Bauer were sent to get rid of Al Gore to save the world.