Megan Fox: Why Doesn't 'Middle America' Like Lesbian Cannibals?

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Megan Fox has a real distaste for "Middle America". Those darned hillbillies in fly-over country just don't seem to go for blockbuster lesbian slash ‘em up soft-core porn flicks. What gives?

Fox is blaming Middle America for her potentially career-breaking flop of a horror movie "Jennifer's Body." Asked why it was such a pitiful failure, Fox explained, "the movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America."

Oh my, what ignorant and close-minded folks these Middle Americans must be that they wouldn't want to sit through 90 minutes of that. Really, what is the film industry coming to when Americans won't pay ten bucks to see one half-naked pinup model devour another?

The A-list star of the recent Transformers movies presented her enlightening caricature of Middle America when, asked how she would stop Megatron, the evil techno-villain from the Transformers series, from destroying the planet, proposed he "just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America" and leave everyone else alone.

Given Fox's clearly vast intellectual capacity, it may surprise readers that, for many Americans, she is stupid until proven intelligent, so to speak. She complained over the summer, "I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single S.A.T. word I've ever learned, to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard."

Notice she did not offer any evidence to the contrary. Hmm. As Leigh Scott postulated in reporting this quote for NB, "When you feel compelled to tell the world how smart you are, how intellectual your positions are, how deep your education runs, the sad truth is that you probably aren't that bright."

And as if accusations of stupidity were not enough, some people are now daring to insinuate that Fox is intellectually challenged AND a tramp. "Girls think I'm a slut, and I've been in the same relationship since I was 18," she told the New York Times. "The problem is, if they think you're attractive, you're either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore."

Who knows where people are getting the impression that this woman is some sort of sexual deviant.

Oh, right.