Wednesday Funnies: New Zawahiri Video Offers Christmas Blessing (Satire)

In keeping with the holiday season, it appears that Osama bin Laden’s right-hand man, Ayman al-Zawahiri, has released a new videotape. In this one (translation altered by ScrappleFace for our amusement), the brains behind al Qaeda has converted to Christianity, and offers a Christmas blessing to Americans, and to his new friends, the Jews (video available here, hat tip to Hot Air).

Pay particular attention as the al Qaeda leader offers “to the people [he] used to call infidels” a blessing that “may come as a surprise.” He tells us that “reading the Koran only kills time.” Alas, he wonders: “If there really is a God, would he use suicide bombers ripping apart women and children to establish His law on earth?”

His marvelous answer: “That’s a no brainer.” This led him to pick up a copy of the New Testament, “which one of [his] jihadis found on the body of an Afghani Christian he slaughtered.”

It appears after reading the Bible, Zawahiri had an epiphany.

Merry Christmas to all.