Colbert Mocks Limbaugh's Addiction, Compares Him to Manson, Franken Thrusts Pelvis
The November 15 edition of "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central offered more proof of comedian Stephen Colbert's ineffective charade at pretending to be a conservative. The hatred for conservatives comes through loud and clear as Colbert mocked Rush Limbaugh's addiction to Vicodin and compared him to mass-murder-inspiring Charles Manson. Minutes later, he invited Al Franken to do a victory dance for Democrats, and Franken chanted "We took the House and Senate" as he thrusted his pelvis to cheers and applause.
Colbert, the fake conservative, began by announcing his fake anger and sadness at the election returns, and then displayed how "America's newsman, Rush Limbaugh," was dealing with it: " They aired a video clip of Limbaugh's radio show: "But, the way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm going just going, I’m just going to tell you as plainly as I can why: I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried." To which Colbert replied: "It's true. He has carried a lot of water over the years and not just to help him swallow all those pills. (Cheers and applause) But, but you know what? I'll, I’ll let Rush explain."
[Clip of Limbaugh: "But, there have been a bunch of things going on in Congress. Some of this legislation coming out of there that, that, that I have just, I’ve just cringed at, and it has been difficult coming in here trying to make the case for it when the people who are supposedly in favor of it can't even make the case themselves."]
Colbert: "Do you have any idea how hard it is to convince the American public to believe in things that you don't? And all he gets in return is $35 million a year? But Rush's mea culpa and accompanying 'me-a so relieved' didn't satisfy everyone. His critics have been pounding him. Take a look at this: ‘I'm so sorry Limbaugh had to lie through his teeth to try and keep in the good graces of his Republican masters. Have you ever heard of intellectual honesty, Mr. Limbaugh?' That little gem was written by Andrew Sullivan, a friend of the show, enemy of marriage. Yes! Yes, Rush has heard of intellectual honesty, Andrew. Did you not just hear him being intellectually honest about not being intellectually honest before? I think you're confusing honesty with consistency."
It's at this point where Colbert compares Limbaugh to Charles Manson:
"Then there's this one: ‘He hides his resentment and hostility behind a mask of superficial ingratiation. Even his cries for help represent a desire for attention with only superficial meaning.’ That one was by– Oh, no, I'm sorry. That wasn't about Rush Limbaugh. That was from the 1962 prison evaluation of Charles Manson. (Cheers and applause as Colbert pretends to be puzzled at his joke.) Hmm. The point is get off Rush's back. You know his back is injured. That's how he got on those painkillers."
Then Colbert invited Franken to come out, and declared: "Do your little victory dance. You must be feeling great about this election."
Al Franken: "You know what’s interesting? Bush, before the election, said that, oh, Democrats are doing dancing in end zone before the results are in. And this is a guy who did ‘Mission Accomplished’ on the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln. So, I'm going to do my victory dance. You have to pretend though...You can do that, that I am in his flight suit with the, with the huge codpiece. So I'll do my– It’s, it’s--"
Colbert: "That’s going to be tough, Al. That’s going to be tough. Okay. I got it. Go ahead."
Franken: "Imagine– Use your-- So this is our victory dance ‘cause the President said that we're dancing in the end zone. (Motioning to his crotch.) So, this is like, a big cod piece, going– (Beginning pelvic thrusts) We took the House and the Senate! We took the House and the Senate! We took the House and Senate! We took the House and Senate! (Wild cheers and applause.) That was for the President. That was for the President."
Colbert: "I understand. On behalf of millions of Americans, let me just say-- (makes throwing up motion.) Now, but Al, listen, would you like to apologize to Rush Limbaugh for attacking him for things you know he didn't even mean? Because I'm sure you went to town on him for some of the things he said."
Franken displayed his usual meanness: "I did. I will not– I will not apologize to him until he thanks me for saving his life. You know, I wrote ‘Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations.’ And, I, I wrote that because at the time he was very, very, very fat. Just huge. Like, enormously, like morbidly obese. Huge, fat, fat, fat, man with a huge, huge, huge, uh, gut and a big fat ass. And then he lost all the weight because of the title of my book and did not thank me for saving his life. I saved his life."
Colbert used that as an occasion to plug Franken's latest book: "Okay, well, fair is fair. Al, as long as you brought up books, you have a new book here. It’s the paperback version of your book, ‘The Truth With Jokes.’ First of all, thank you for the paperback version. It is way easier to catch fire than the hardback version. This makes fantastic kindling. For Christmas that yule log a couple of these underneath that and here it goes."
Franken: "A hardcover actually has the kindling and the cover burns longer."
Colbert: "Okay, well then, so don't buy this book. Don't buy this book."
Franken: "You're right."
Colbert then plugged Franken's other project, his often-rumored run for the U.S. Senate to defeat Republican incumbent Norm Coleman in 2008. A member of the liberal audience screamed, "Run, Al. Run, Al! (Cheers and applause ) Do it!"
Franken said to Colbert: "People love you– People love you in Minnesota."
Colbert: "I know that. Yeah. They’re not all Garrison Keillor, Al. It’s the heartland."
Franken: "It is. People love you there. Bring the show there, I’ll announce on the show."