Jim Carrey Actually Goes After Gun Owners With Charlton Heston Penis Size Jokes
NewsBusters reported Sunday that actor Jim Carrey had previewed a new video he was releasing on the comedy website Funny or Die by attacking gun rights advocates on Twitter as "heartless motherf**kers."
Turns out after all the fuss, Carrey's juvenile song in the video was something you'd expect from a kindergartner.
In fact, the video is so pathetic that I have no intention of linking to it or embedding it. Those that like witnessing car crashes can take the trouble to find it.
With that as pretext, the video began with Carrey impersonating the late Charlton Heston appearing on the old country variety show Hee Haw.
After Carrey as Heston made an absurd comment about aliens from another planet, the host introduced a band called “Lonesome Earl and the Clutterbusters.”
Earl of course was played by Carrey who was fronting a band that included an Abraham Lincoln lookalike playing an acoustic bass.
“Charlton Heston movies are no longer in demand,” sang Carrey. “His immortal soul may lay forever in the sand. The angels wouldn’t take him up to heaven like he planned, because they couldn’t pry that gun from his cold dead hand.”
“It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger,” Carrey continued. “It takes a cold dead heart, and as near as I can figure, with your cold, dead aim you’re trying to prove your dick is bigger, but we know your chariot may not be swinging low.”
For the record, Carrey just turned 51 in January.
That's right. The best a 51-year-old man could do was penis size jokes.
And they didn't stop there as the video devolved into more such tripe until Carrey as Earl gave the camera the finger and Carrey as Heston accidentally shot his foot off as all those on stage laughed.
Did I mention Carrey's 51?