There She Goes Again: Kathleen Parker Sees Phelps as 'Involuntary Hero' With a Bong

February 4th, 2009 8:29 AM

Pseudo-conservative columnist Kathleen Parker has been published in The Washington Post, once again for writing a provocative "Look at Me!" column trashing social conservatism – and the marijuana laws. Parker called Michael Phelps an "involuntary hero" (Captain Toke!) for ignoring the drug laws of America. Parker’s affection for legalized marijuana may finally explain her wigged-out column suggesting John McCain picked Palin because he was besotted by her hotness. At least, Parker claimed teenagers shouldn’t be smoking anything, but added:

Understandably, parents worry that their kids will emulate their idol, but the problem isn't Phelps, who is, in fact, an adult. The problem is our laws -- and our lies...Phelps may be an involuntary hero to this charge, but his name and face bring necessary attention to a farce in which nearly half the nation are actors. It's time to recognize that all drugs are not equal -- and change the laws accordingly.

She echoed Post columnist Sally "Sweetly Baked in Hay" Jenkins in pushing for not the just the decriminalization of marijuana, but the de-stigmatization as well:

Our marijuana laws have been ludicrous for as long as we've been alive. Almost half of us (42 percent) have tried marijuana at least once, The U.S., in fact, boasts the highest percentage of pot smokers among 17 nations surveyed, including The Netherlands, where cannabis clouds waft from coffeehouse windows. Among them are no small number of high-ranking South Carolina leaders (we knew us when), who surely cringe every time a young person gets fingered for a "crime" they themselves have committed.

Other better-known former tokers include our current president and a couple of previous ones, as well as a Supreme Court justice, to name just a few. A complete list would require the slaughter of several mature forests.

Can’t Parker do math? If 58 percent of Americans haven’t gotten "sweetly baked in hay," why do pot proponents always pretend that practically everyone has used, and practically every cop or judge is a hypocrite?