It's already week 11? How can that be?
Joe Concha explains below the fold.
Joe Concha
You know the old saying: Time flies when you're having football. And when the sport becomes more oversaturated than even the President-Elect himself (Wednesday night football even exists), autumn moves along faster than a Rahm Emanuel revenge strategy session.
Since time is moving so fast, it might be wise to get to our not-for-profit picks quickly:
Packers (-3.5) over Bears: The city of Chicago is now offering "Obama Neighborhood Tours." Comments now heard on the bus include, "Hey, there's William Ayers's house!" and "Didn't Rezko give Barack that house for what it costs to rent a studio outside of Wrigley?"
Falcons (-6.5) over Broncos: Michael Vick, dog murderer, says he wants to return to the NFL. That should be good news for Keith Olbermann, who defended Vick during his trial during his first Football Night in America appearance. Speaking of KO, the Countdown host got a $3.5 million raise from the geniuses at MSDNC for perfectly conducting the all-spin zone for BO on a nightly basis. So here's an easy question: Will Keith spread the wealth to all of those poor NBC News staffers who were recently let go to help pay for his gaudy contract? As a real journalist once said, "Good night and good luck."
Bills (-5) over Browns: Trent Edwards is a straightforward guy who never takes the credit but always takes the blame. Former Chris Konfinis meal-ticket John Edwards, who spoke in a town hall setting this week in Indiana with just one pre-condition attached (like, no questions about cheating on the cancer-stricken mother of his children) is what you would call the exact opposite.
Colts (-8) over Texans: Sage Rosenfels gets the start against the Colts, a team he single-handedly gave a game away to in their last meeting in Houston. So here's some sage advice: Never trust a quarterback named "Sage".
Giants (-7) over Ravens: University of Delaware graduates named "Joe" are known to make a few gaffes. In the Ravens case, the gaffes will come from QB Joe Flacco, who has never met a defensive pass rush quite like this. And in Joe Biden's case, it's the declaration that paying more taxes is more patriotic. Three words, JB: "Boston Tea Party."
Bengals (+9) over Eagles: Don't you get the feeling that if Andy Reid ran a funeral parlor, no one would die?
Bucs (-4) over Vikings: Hard to root for any state that once elected Jesse Ventura as its Governor and possibly Staurt Smalley as its Senator...
Steelers (-5) over Chargers: Some say the Chargers haven't met America's expectations. For those of you who voted for the Messiah, who may set a record for most promises broken in his first 90 days, you might want to start adopting the same mindset when eventually traveling on the road to disappointment.
Panthers (-14) over Lions: If you're looking for someone who has a lower approval rating that Pelosi and Reid, look no further than former Detroit GM Matt Millen, the former pontificating broadcast booth blowhard who somehow will be returning to a broadcast booth near you.
Seahawks (+3) over Cardinals: This is a classic letdown game for McCain's Cards, who own the kind of division lead that usually is only reserved for the AL West in baseball.
Jaguars (+3) over Titans: Former Dolphins from that undefeated 1972 team should be drunk on celebratory champagne right around 7:00 PM EST Sunday.
Cowboys (-1.5) over Redskins: Inauguration tickets are going for thousands on eBay, while Redskins tickets are going for a fraction of that if the embarrassing infiltration by Steelers fans for the 'Skins last home game is any indication.
Raiders (+10.5) over Dolphins: California has experienced a tough season. First, the Angels are eliminated in the playoffs in the first round. Then the Niners, aforementioned Chargers and Raiders combine for eight wins total thus far. Speaking of 8, Prop 8 passes, therefore the will of the people have spoken, right? But that saying only applies to Presidential elections in the world of libs. Otherwise, it's a 24/7 protest party on something THAT WAS ALREADY FRIGGIN' VOTED ON until at least Super Bowl time.
Enjoy the games today. In fact, have a gay old time...
Joe Concha is a weekly contributor to NewsBusters and doth protest the NFL Network stealing a game he can't see from home each week. Email questions or comments to joeconcha@yahoo.com.
