Saturday Climate Change Funnies: “Fear of a Global ‘Coldening’”
In the wake of soon-to-be-Dr. Al Gore’s failed Live Earth concerts, maybe what the world needs is a little humor to save us from the hysteria being spewed by global warming alarmists.
Almost on cue, Australia’s Tim Blair published a marvelous column in the Daily Telegraph Saturday that is guaranteed to give climate change skeptics a few much-needed chuckles.
Sadly, I don’t think the alarmists will find his piece amusing, even though we’re mostly laughing with them and not at them.
Mostly (h/t Glenn Reynolds):
LAST month Australians endured our coldest June since 1950. Imagine that; all those trillions of tonnes of evil carbon we've horked up into the atmosphere over six decades of rampant industrialisation, and we're still getting the same icy weather we got during the Cold War.
Not that June should be presented as evidence that global warming isn't happening, or that we're causing it. Relying on such a tiny sample would be unscientific and wrong, even if it involves an entire freakin' continent's weather patterns throughout the course of a whole month, for Christ's sake.
No such foolishness will be indulged in here.
Sadly, those who believe in global warming - and who would compel us also to believe - aren't similarly constrained. A few hot days are all they ever need to get the global warming bandwagon rolling; evidently it's solar powered.
How true. As evidence, Blair presented a recent Associated Press piece which reported that May’s temperatures were “‘yet another sign of the widespread climate change that we are seeing unfold across the globe.’"
Blair accurately pointed out (emphasis added throughout):
If that's the case, shouldn't June's cold weather - coldest since 1950, remember - be a sign that widespread climate change isn't unfolding across the globe? We're using the same data here; one month's weather. And, in fact, the June sample is Australia-wide while May only highlights the east coast. Fear the dawn of a great "coldening"!
Actually, those that pay attention to the many scientists claiming that solar activity might be waning leading to a coming period of global cooling are indeed more afraid of that eventuality than a continued warming. But that won’t stop the comical alarmism:
While Australia freezes, it's kinda hot in California. Again, local toastiness is evidence of global warming; one San Francisco Chronicle writer this week referred glibly to their "global-warming-heated summer".
What phenomenon was responsible for previous summers? Maybe they got by on the superheated fumes radiating off Lateline host Tony Jones.
Snow cone Tone hosted an in-studio discussion Thursday night after the ABC presented The Great Global Warming Swindle, and he was hotter than a Christina Aguilera video. "Welcome to our debate on this deeply flawed and utterly mistaken documentary, which is wrong in every regard and was made by a zombie," Jones said in introduction (I'm only lightly paraphrasing).
Actually, the e-mail messages I’ve received from skeptical Aussies quite suggest Blair was indeed only lightly paraphrasing. Blair then shared how predictions of a climate change-impacted “summer of unheard-of high temperatures” in Great Britain have yet to materialize:
As Wimbledon watchers would be aware, what with the rainiest tournament since Jimmy Connors defeated John McEnroe in 1982, those unheard-of high temperatures remain unheard-of. Someone might conclude, therefore, that the not-hot summer is not entirely consistent with predictions of climate change.
But climate change is like Michael Moore's tracksuit - it can fit anyone. In 2005, Greenpeace rep Steven Guilbeault helpfully explained: "Global warming can mean colder, it can mean drier, it can mean wetter, that's what we're dealing with."
What we're dealing with, apparently, is weather.
How delicious, as was the following:
What will the weather be like 100 years from now? Don't ask Britain's Guardian, which, like the Independent, is full of Warmin' Normans whose warm warnings never come true. "It could be time to say goodbye to defining features of British life," the paper claimed a few months ago, "like rainy picnics and cloudy sunbathing . . ."
Other defining features of British life - screaming, inaccurate nonsense from the Guardian, for example - will never be farewelled. Cue wet Wimbledon, the coldest day for Test match cricket (7.4C) in English history, and this BBC online headline: "Where has the UK's summer gone?"