Sheryl Crow's Toilet Paper Concerns Echoed by Environmental Group

Photo of Noel Sheppard.

Remember back in April when Al Gore sycophant Sheryl Crow actually suggested “a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting,” and then after being ridiculed for her stupidity had the nerve of saying, “It was just a joke?”

Well, an environmental group called Worldwatch Institute appears to share Crow’s concerns about Americans using too much toilet paper (h/t Planet Gore).

In an article entitled “Matters of Scale: Into the Toilet,” the Institute actually detailed toilet paper usage by various parts of the planet (I kid you not!):

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Estimated sales of toilet paper in the United States (2005)     US$5.7 billion

In Canada                                                                                US$643 million

In India                                                                                      US$7.7 million

[…]

Per capita annual consumption of toilet tissue in North America         23.0 kg

In Western Europe                                                                              13.8 kg

In Latin America                                                                                   4.2 kg

In Asia                                                                                                 1.8 kg

In Africa                                                                                               0.4 kg 

In reality, I like Rosie O’Donnell’s take on this issue the best (video available here, relevant section at minute 1:30): “One little thing? Has she seen my ass?”

On the other hand (wink, wink), Mark Steyn might have best captured the stupidity of this issue (as quoted by Steven Hayward at Planet Gore): “All we are saying, is give one piece a chance!


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OMG! Crow's waist is thinne

OMG! Crow's waist is thinner than the TP roll! No wonder she can use just one sheet!

"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...

Her head is actually bigger

Her head is actually bigger around than her waist.

Morals....? Who needs those?

You know, I tried the &quot

You know, I tried the "one square thing" a while back. Turns out, sh*t stinks long after you've washed your hands, because you know one square isn't enough to efficiently "clean up" without getting crap all over your hands. Or we could do like the savages do and just wipe with our left hand and stink all the time. Or we could go to the European style and put bidets in every stall.

Morals....? Who needs those?

}}----> Crow's nest

I'll bet she stuffs.

Her waist is smaller than the role of TP....

Her waist is smaller than the role of TP because she probably only eats raw peas and carrots everyday!  Which is something she would like to have us all do if she could. This woman is a half-wit, and quite honestly, not very talented.   I wonder if Ms. Crock of Crow and the World Watch Institute's bathrooms are well stocked with the usual toiletries necessary for life?  A joke indeed.  Sheryl, you are a joke. You and your wacko causes.  Like Laura Ingram says, SHUT UP AND SING. (no, I take that back, JUST SHUT UP!).

S. Crow

I drive by one of Sheryl Crow's houses every day in rural Bethesda, Tennessee, not only does she have one of the largest houses Ive ever seen in person, but her assistant also has an extremely large house on the same property. The houses sit about 400 yds off the road, but clearly visible are at least FIVE SUVs and trucks, not to mention two tractors. Why is she worried about me using toilet paper when she uses more gas per week than I do in a year?! Wait... Is it because she's full of it?.. or just stoned?

What's kinda funny to me abou

What's kinda funny to me about this is that, many, many moons ago, when I went through basic training in the Air Force, my TI actually told us we were only allowed one sheet. He then proceeded to demonstrate the tactic (it was only a joke, albeit a well-thought out one).

What you do is fold the sheet twice, then tear a 1/2" piece out of the folded corner, which, when the sheet is unfolded, leaves a hole in the center of the sheet (keep the piece you tear out - you'll need it later). You then do your business. Once the mission is complete, you insert your middle finger through the hole in the sheet and use said finger for the actual wiping action. Once completed, gather the sheet at the base of the finger and pull up off finger, thus wiping residual mission detritus from finger. Dispose of sheet properly. Finally, use corner torn from folded sheet to remove final detritus from under the nail of the finger utilized.

So, this is proof that Ms. Crow may be on to something... (Definitely wouldn't apply to Rosie)... And no, I have never utilized this procedure.

The Closed Mind Erects Strong Barriers

Recycling paper hurts!

One thing these enviro-wackos seem to forget is that the vast majority, if not all of our paper comes from farmed trees. If you reduce the need for paper, you reduce the need to farm trees which actually reduces the number of carbon reducing, oxygen producing trees! Even if you left all the tree farms alone and let the trees grow, they would not produce as much O2 and reduce CO2 as the farms because young plants use more energy than mature ones, and are thus more beneficial. Compound this by the CO2 produced by the recycling trucks that come and get the paper, the energy wasted in recycling it and all the chemical waste sludge that is dumped somewhere. Let's not even talk about the money wasted in all this that could be used to research clean energy or feed the hungry.

So, when you see an enviro-wackos recycle paper, be sure to tell them they are actually harming the environment! So do your part for the environment and use all the TP you need to make your backside squeaky clean!

If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. --George Orwell

Archer,I love the commentary

Archer,

I love the commentary and think it's an interesting position that I would like to promote. (I am being completely honest here!) I can't say these things without giving evidence because I'm just that kind of guy. Do you have research to support this? I would love to read it. I think recycling is a joke with those bins. I knew a guy (who's dead now) that worked for a trash company and their only job was to seperate trash into things that are recyclable, biodegradable, and non-biodegradable. I tell people "throw it all away, you support these people who have jobs to seperate this crap later". No one believes me.

Morals....? Who needs those?

Here's a couple of sources

Here's a couple of sources and quotes:

From HERE:

The basic recipe - wood, water and energy
- is adjusted to make just the paper that's needed.

First, workers harvest trees, mostly
from special tree-growing areas called tree farms. After
the trees are removed, more trees are planted in their
place. While they are growing, the young trees produce
lots of oxygen, and provide great habitat for deer,
quail, turkeys and other wildlife.

HERE is another:

All across Missouri and the United
States, forests were generally logged and abandoned in the early
part of this century. This practice continued until the 1920s,
when forest conservation efforts became widely practiced. Now,
an average of 1.9 billion tree seedlings are planted in the U.S.,
translating into six seedlings for every tree cut. Five million
trees were planted in Missouri alone at the George O. White State
Forest Nursery in Licking. This includes 70 different species
of trees, shrubs and prairie forbs. Each summer and fall the nursery
collects or buys tens of thousands of pounds of seeds to grow
all these species. Last year, for example, about 5,000 bushels
of walnuts, 15,000 pounds of white oak acorns, 8,000 pounds of
hazelnuts and 600 pounds of plum seed were needed just to establish
seedlings for these four species.

Of course, my first source is Penn & Teller's BS.

Other sources show "most" and some show as little as 16% so you mileage may vary depending on the source you go with. Another issue is the definition of "tree farm". My uncle ran a logging company for a while. What he would do is go to particular piece of forest and pick the trees that would be cut. Five years later, he would go back to the same piece of land and pick a few more trees. He would cut about a forth of the trees every five years or so and the forest would be maintained and he could do this forever. This thinning would actually produce a healthier forest with healthier trees. It required no pesticides or fertilizer. These were not tree farms by definition, but sustained forests. He would never clear cut a piece of land unless it was going to be clear cut anyway for farm land, a building or other valid reason. Unfortunately, because this method is not a tree farm and the trees were never planted by man, this is still considered "virgin pulp" and is frowned upon by enviromentalists. Still, this method has allowed a lumber industry to thrive in areas like East Texas for years with no real loss of any woodlands.


If you hamper the war effort of one side, you automatically help out that of the other. --George Orwell

It seems your uncle has good

It seems your uncle has good sense. I mean, how long does it take for a tree grow to cutting age? If loggers just clear cut everything, it seems to me that eventually they would run out of trees. I would think all loggers work this way so as not to run out of their resource. Of course, the logic of this point would be lost on an enviro-wacko.

Actually, clearcutting tends

Actually, clearcutting tends to create a dense underbrush the next few years- great places for ground dwelling animals to hide. I think it works fine as long as there are non-clear cut areas left around it. I have seen arguments for both sides.  Selective cutting can damage the trees left behind and make them vulnerable to insects. In a tree farm this might not be so bad as in a place where the tress were allowed to sprout on their own. Clear cutting vs selective cutting- both sides have their merits.

Have these people ever though

Have these people ever thought of the water wasteage in a bidet?

And price also might have to do with people choosing not to buy the cheap shit and spend extra on paper that doesn't feel like sandpapaer.

Mother nature is a bitch - Ninth Corollary of Murphy's Law

Grad, I know what you mean ab

Grad, I know what you mean about sandpaper.  The 80 grit is a tad rough, especially if you have hemorrhoids.  Have you considered a finer grit?  Perhaps a 220 or 350 grit would do better.

"A communist is someone who reads Marx.  An anti-communist is someone who understands Marx."  Ronald Reagan

350-grit?? He could polish h

350-grit?? He could polish his ass to mirror like finish with that.

Is it possible to use one squ

Is it possible to use one square to wipe Sheryl Crow from the my television screen and newspaper??????

Poor Liberal, he's educated beyond his intelligence

Now, Noel. She might have a

Now, Noel. She might have actually been kidding the first time she said that.

I was a big Sheryl fan, but her last two albums have been pretty bland.

I don't know Balboa. The &quo

I don't know Balboa. The "kidding" explanation only came out a couple of days later. The accounts from the press conference indicate she was serious.

Lance is looking smarter and smarter...............

IT'S ALL BUSH'S FAULT. The

IT'S ALL BUSH'S FAULT. The tax cut he gave us! Gave us more money in our pockets so we all went out and spent more money on food and dinners out with friends. So we are eating more and pooping more. So we need to reverse the tax cuts and stop eating so much. So we don't use so much t.p.

There!! thats my solution and I'm sticking to it...tp or not!!!

This is proof positive that s

This is proof positive that some among us have way, way too much, uhh, time on their hands.

5.7 billion dollars in sales

5.7 billion dollars in sales in the U.S. Well, that is because the liberals here are SO FULL OF SH!T!!!!

 

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder why Lance Armstrong dumped this airhead?  Sheryl's IQ is probably equal to her bra size.

Help control the game show host population by having Bob Barker spayed or neutered.

golden....LMAO!I really doubt

golden....

LMAO!

I really doubt it is that big...seems impossible...if you get my drift.

}}----> Lance and Cheryl

We aren't referring to nitless and tutless are we?