Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer, right, and correspondent Pete Williams report, in New York Thursday morning April 19, 2007, on a video manifesto and photos sent to their network by Virginia Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui.
Matt: We really are the liberal elite of this nation. We rule, kings bow before us.
Meredith thinking: "Oh my gawd, I wish these guys would be men, that way more of us women would have these spots. I'm so sick of their Calvin Cline unicologne. At least Anderson Copper isn't here."
Pete, could the Johnson Space Center gunman have been influenced in a similar manner as was poor Cho Seung-Hui? If he has sent tapes anywhere, how should they be handled? And what about gun control?
JDW
News media: Scoreboard for terrorists
If you are going to whine about spelling... get a life
Lauer: We agonized whether we should show the tapes, while the tech department was copying them. We don't think that they damaged any evidence while doing that, they were very careful.
Vieira: We hope that this might help the families of the victims have closure, I mean, understanding why he did it and all is important, right?
Williams: (thinking) Are these two actually retarded, or are they on drugs?
In a rare moment of clarity, Merideth Viera realizes that NBC's showing of the VT killer's video "manifesto" has helped spark many of the copycats springing up accross the country.
Lauer:"... and before we could finish copying everything the police showed up, but Meridith was actually able to swallow some of the manifesto, and...Hold on a minute folks, the look on Meridith's face and her posture tell me that we may have some exclusive video for you in mere moments! Only on NBC! I smell an Emmy!"
"And when we return, we'll talk to an expert who will tell us about 12 simple steps to psycho-anlayze your child's college roommate, and Al Roker will stop by with his favorite low-calorie Korean dishes. One of them is called "Fillet of Seoul," mmmm. . . can't wait to try that one. We'll be right back."
In an effort to improve journalistic standards, the Today Show is replacing hosts Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer with animatronic robots. Although the robots can only mimic the ability to think for themselves, most critics concede this is an enormous improvement over their real-life counterparts, who experience dizziness, migraines, and even cerebral hemorrhaging in the absence of liberal talking points.
Peter, Matt & Meredith pause briefly to mourn the death of common decency before exposing grief stricken viewers to the sickening rants of a homicidal maniac.
Pete: Wow, Matt looks very sexy today. Meredith needs to get out of my way. Matt: Wow, I do look good. Pete and Meredith both needs to get out. Meredith: I thought I was the star of the show. I hate men!!
Meredith Vieira begins hold-breath-until-blue protest as co-host Matt Lauer and correspondent Pete Williams keep vigil watch after reporting devestating news of SCOTUS upholding ban on so-called partial birth abortion. Fortuitously, Vieira shortly after abandoned her protest to report the uplifting news that Senator Harry Reid - D Never-ever Land declared US has lost war on terrorism.
Vierra is thinking, "OK, who wants to tell Matt about his breath?"
"Not for fame or reward, not for place or rank, not lured by ambition or goaded by necessity. But in simple obedience to duty." - From the barracks at Ft. Benning
Vieira just ripped one and is wondering if she has to go change, Williams can't believe the smell, and Lauer is wondering how he can blame either Bush, global warming, or guns...
START??? START??? HAHAHAHAHAHA. That's all they do is distort reality. They wouldn't know reality if it splashed itself onto Viera's green dress.
When asked if he went to war with Iraq to derail the impeachment
vote: “I don’t think any serious person would believe that any
President would do such a thing." - President Clinton (Dec 1998).
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
Vierra thinking, "Five m
April 20, 2007 - 16:23 ET by Chris NormanVierra thinking, "Five minutes to my bathroom break, just five minutes to my bathroom break...".
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
CN,LOL!
April 20, 2007 - 16:28 ET by AntiMediaCN,
LOL!
captionfest
April 21, 2007 - 18:06 ET by SportPoliticsMatt: We really are the liberal elite of this nation. We rule, kings bow before us.
Meredith thinking: "Oh my gawd, I wish these guys would be men, that way more of us women would have these spots. I'm so sick of their Calvin Cline unicologne. At least Anderson Copper isn't here."
Viera: "I should have
April 20, 2007 - 16:31 ET by wmccarviVierra: "I should have used Preperation H"
Meredith
April 20, 2007 - 19:00 ET by Emma GrumpSorry wm - saw your post too late & used same....my bad.
Emma,I think there's a saying
April 20, 2007 - 19:08 ET by BlondeEmma,
I think there's a saying for that....
"Great minds think alike"!
Lauer: "Hey, Meredith
April 20, 2007 - 16:37 ET by Chubby57Lauer: "Hey, Meredith. Pull your hair back behind your ears so Pete and I can see each other through that empty head of yours."
On the suck scale, this week
April 20, 2007 - 16:42 ET by rwesleyOn the suck scale, this week we hit "10."
Captionfest entry
April 20, 2007 - 16:45 ET by nkviking75Pete Williams: "Man, why do they make me sit next to these morons?"
When you put the clowns in charge, don't be surprised when a circus breaks out.
Oh my!
April 20, 2007 - 16:49 ET by misterbillVieira "Flatulence, flatulence, please hold on!"
Both guys DO look kind of w
April 20, 2007 - 17:39 ET by sarcasmoBoth guys DO look kind of worried, in a "Meredith, you understand we can't escape these fumes" kind of way...
JMR
"How about some more beans Mr. Taggart"
April 20, 2007 - 22:08 ET by Carl KolchakVierra: "How about some more beans Mr. Taggart?"
Pete, could the Johnson Spa
April 20, 2007 - 16:54 ET by JDWPete, could the Johnson Space Center gunman have been influenced in a similar manner as was poor Cho Seung-Hui? If he has sent tapes anywhere, how should they be handled? And what about gun control?
JDW
News media: Scoreboard for terrorists
If you are going to whine about spelling... get a life
So much for the "IF it
April 20, 2007 - 16:56 ET by JayTeeSo much for the "IF it BLEEDS it LEADS" saying for Journalism, Our Ratings SUCK !!!
After entering the "Lib-
April 20, 2007 - 17:18 ET byAfter entering the "Lib-trance" the oracle pronounces doom
Veira: "Don't you unwa
April 20, 2007 - 17:25 ET by CrimsonfistedVeira: "Don't you unwashed masses know that WE are the wise ones. All bow and pay heed. So say I, Meredith the Merciless."
Williams thinking: "She's off her meds again."
Lauer thinking: "Kick this broad back to the View and let Rosie deal with her."
WhatAMaroon
Meredith Vieira thought bub
April 20, 2007 - 17:30 ET by dabalMeredith Vieira thought bubble: " ", fraught with emotion.
Matt Lauer thought bubble: " "
Pete Williams thought bubble: " "
Heh. Where you saw emotion,
April 20, 2007 - 17:42 ET by sarcasmoHeh. Where you saw emotion, I smelled something else... But who knows? ;)
JMR
Meredith (Oh God, the telep
April 20, 2007 - 17:41 ET byMeredith (Oh God, the teleprompters out again)
Meredith (I sure hope tho
April 20, 2007 - 17:42 ET byMeredith (I sure hope those are Pete's toes and not Matt's)
What's in a Liberal Sandwic
April 20, 2007 - 18:16 ET by kerwinjrWhat's in a Liberal Sandwich? Two pieces of white bread and old disgusting baloney.
Good one!
April 21, 2007 - 05:40 ET by SouthJersey1953Good one!
Matt
April 20, 2007 - 18:27 ET by DingbatMatt: an OK rack, I guess.
OHHH if only there were are
April 20, 2007 - 18:40 ET by upcountrywaterOHHH if only there were are no guns, Oh how dare he bring a gun into a "no gun zone" ban guns ban guns ban guns.
We know best..
Detonated Plutomium has a very large carbon footprint.
Semi
April 20, 2007 - 18:51 ET by gfrrmanSemi Circle-Jerk
"Eventually, Socialists run out of other peoples' money...." MARGARET THATCHER
Meredith
April 20, 2007 - 18:57 ET by Emma GrumpMatt to Pete : Why is she squirming so?
Meredith : I shoulda used Preparation H.
Meredith: "Batteries don
April 20, 2007 - 19:03 ET by JABMeredith: "Batteries don't fail me NOW!!!"
Matt & Pete: what's that buzzing sound???
"Too bad Ignorance isn't painful..."
"Meredith reacts to the
April 20, 2007 - 19:14 ET by"Meredith reacts to the news that Ann Coulter wiil take over as mediator of the panel"
Ok Ok ok here's one...
April 20, 2007 - 19:16 ET by c5thenLauer: We agonized whether we should show the tapes, while the tech department was copying them. We don't think that they damaged any evidence while doing that, they were very careful.
Vieira: We hope that this might help the families of the victims have closure, I mean, understanding why he did it and all is important, right?
Williams: (thinking) Are these two actually retarded, or are they on drugs?
C5,As to Williams...wasn't he
April 20, 2007 - 19:23 ET by BlondeC5,
As to Williams...wasn't he assistant SecDef during GW1?
I recall him doing the daily Pentagon briefings, and I really liked the guy.
I've seen him on the nasty news....and I suppose he has to have a job.
But....
I'd imagine he's thinking exactly what you ascribed...
Nicely done.
In a rare moment of clarity
April 20, 2007 - 19:23 ET by Free StinkerIn a rare moment of clarity, Merideth Viera realizes that NBC's showing of the VT killer's video "manifesto" has helped spark many of the copycats springing up accross the country.
Lauer: "Meridith, guess
April 20, 2007 - 19:38 ET by midnight cowboyLauer: "Meridith, guess whose stopping by today..... Katie, she hates her new job she wants her old job back.
Vierra (thought bubble): "She'll have to pry this anchor chair from my cold dead buttocks"
Williams(thought bubble): Note to self, cancel today's golf outing, I'm getting some popcorn.
"Who farted?"
April 20, 2007 - 19:52 ET by Prester John"Who farted?"
My guess is---
April 20, 2007 - 19:57 ET by misterbillMy guess is--- the lady in the middle???
Lauer:"... and before we coul
April 20, 2007 - 21:27 ET by muh-oonLauer:"... and before we could finish copying everything the police showed up, but Meridith was actually able to swallow some of the manifesto, and...Hold on a minute folks, the look on Meridith's face and her posture tell me that we may have some exclusive video for you in mere moments! Only on NBC! I smell an Emmy!"
Just the fax ma'am
April 20, 2007 - 21:31 ET by Cool ArrowAfter eating the manifesto, Meredith discovered typo's that needed to be rectified.
On the whole, in the final an
April 20, 2007 - 21:54 ET by muh-oonOn the whole, in the final anal ysis, her report on the manifesto did pass muster.
Although some said her report
April 20, 2007 - 22:01 ET by muh-oonAlthough some said her report stretched the bounds of decency, others claimed it did not pass the "smell test"
I heard she needed a pencil t
April 20, 2007 - 22:06 ET by saw the lightI heard she needed a pencil to work out a few details.
"Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb (insert terrorist-supporting nation here)"
mus ter???
April 20, 2007 - 22:14 ET by misterbillOr through her???
Yes, Meredith
April 20, 2007 - 21:29 ET by Cool ArrowYes Meredith, we've seen your playboy layout.
No Meredith, we're not ogling you
Yes Meredith, we would be attracted to you if our bodies were still producing testosterone.
Williams, to Lauer: "D
April 20, 2007 - 21:43 ET by saw the lightWilliams, to Lauer: "Does she ever blink? Or did her last facelift end that forever?"
"Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb (insert terrorist-supporting nation here)"
"To the shock of Matt an
April 20, 2007 - 21:56 ET by"To the shock of Matt and Pete; Meredith leaves a carbon footprint"
"And when we return, we'
April 20, 2007 - 23:43 ET by Galvanic"And when we return, we'll talk to an expert who will tell us about 12 simple steps to psycho-anlayze your child's college roommate, and Al Roker will stop by with his favorite low-calorie Korean dishes. One of them is called "Fillet of Seoul," mmmm. . . can't wait to try that one. We'll be right back."
In an effort to improve jou
April 21, 2007 - 00:28 ET by PSOSIn an effort to improve journalistic standards, the Today Show is replacing hosts Meredith Vieira and Matt Lauer with animatronic robots. Although the robots can only mimic the ability to think for themselves, most critics concede this is an enormous improvement over their real-life counterparts, who experience dizziness, migraines, and even cerebral hemorrhaging in the absence of liberal talking points.
.
April 21, 2007 - 03:09 ET by alinlaPeter, Matt & Meredith pause briefly to mourn the death of common decency before exposing grief stricken viewers to the sickening rants of a homicidal maniac.
"Pete, can I set you up
April 21, 2007 - 06:22 ET by NoMoreClintons"Pete, can I set you up with Matt? Gosh, you two would look cute together."
Cap
April 21, 2007 - 07:00 ET by charlietexasPete: Wow, Matt looks very sexy today. Meredith needs to get out of my way. Matt: Wow, I do look good. Pete and Meredith both needs to get out. Meredith: I thought I was the star of the show. I hate men!!
As Pete and Matt look on in d
April 21, 2007 - 08:14 ET by moonjohnAs Pete and Matt look on in disdain, Meredith realizes she has misspoken and has inadvertently criticized the theory of Global Warming.
Viera Mood Swing
April 21, 2007 - 09:19 ET by acumenMeredith Vieira begins hold-breath-until-blue protest as co-host Matt Lauer and correspondent Pete Williams keep vigil watch after reporting devestating news of SCOTUS upholding ban on so-called partial birth abortion. Fortuitously, Vieira shortly after abandoned her protest to report the uplifting news that Senator Harry Reid - D Never-ever Land declared US has lost war on terrorism.
Vierra is thinking, "O
April 21, 2007 - 10:58 ET by awffp1890Vierra is thinking, "OK, who wants to tell Matt about his breath?"
"Not for fame or reward, not for place or rank, not lured by ambition or goaded by necessity. But in simple obedience to duty." - From the barracks at Ft. Benning
Vieira just ripped one and is
April 21, 2007 - 14:04 ET by BeowulfVieira just ripped one and is wondering if she has to go change, Williams can't believe the smell, and Lauer is wondering how he can blame either Bush, global warming, or guns...
The Closed Mind Builds Strong Barriers
Meredith
April 21, 2007 - 15:32 ET by Emma GrumpMeredith : I'm sorry, guys - mine usually don't stink this much. Odd.
Matt: Well, you did eat those two egg and onion sandwiches.
Pete : I think we should adjourn for today - I'm feeling a bit woozy.
How can we compete with Fox?L
April 21, 2007 - 17:31 ET byHow can we compete with Fox?
Lets start distorting reality and call it facts or talk more about anna nichole's baby!
A free press is one of the first things to go in a totalitarian government. Montana Lyons
"Let's start distortin
April 21, 2007 - 18:17 ET by Jerry"Let's start distorting reality.."
START??? START??? HAHAHAHAHAHA. That's all they do is distort reality. They wouldn't know reality if it splashed itself onto Viera's green dress.
When asked if he went to war with Iraq to derail the impeachment
vote: “I don’t think any serious person would believe that any
President would do such a thing." - President Clinton (Dec 1998).