Over at TVNewser, Brian Stelter has posted an MP3 of a song that is apparently being played today on WPLJ in New York City, ridiculing the poor ratings performance of the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, with lyrics offering several suggestions for Ms. Couric and her producers. Safe to say it's a bit on the cruel side, especially the line about "if you want big success....find Dan Rather's home address."
Here’s a link to the audio file, and what follows is my transcription of the song’s lyrics (although you need to hear the tune to get the full effect):
My, my,
Poor Katie Couric's newscast is in trouble
It seems
Charlie and Brian's ratings are like double
Change her whole attitude
And suggest that she read the news nude
Hey, CBS
This whole thing is a total mess.
Hey CBS
Ask Katie to go panty-less
Hey CBS,
Time to send an S.O.S.
Or CBS,
Have Katie remove her dress
It must be tons of stress
For the perky news princess
It's fact
Her news gets beat by freakin' Full House reruns
Maybe
It's because she's always usin' those bad puns
She's stuck down in last place
Time to drag out the fishnet and lace
Hey CBS
If you want to have big success
Well then CBS
Make Katie read the news topless
Hey CBS
Make Katie wear a little less
Or CBS
Find Dan Rather's home address
It must be tons of stress
For the perky news princess
She needs a Marilyn mole
And a shiny new stripper pole
Hey, CBS
This whole thing is a total mess.
Hey CBS
Ask Katie to go panty-less
Hey CBS,
Time to send an S.O.S.
Hey CBS,
Have Katie remove her dress
It must be tons of stress
For the perky news princess
—Rich Noyes is Research Director at the Media Research Center.
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Comments Policy
That is freakin' awesome!!
March 9, 2007 - 13:46 ET by sunandsteelThat is freakin' awesome!!
If you want "big success" hahahahahahahahaha!
March 9, 2007 - 13:49 ET by Guy Arthur ThomasIsn't that an Abba Song...? But neverminding the hilarious song...the idea of having to see Katie Couric reading the news nude...ugh...I'd rather look at Andrea Mitchell's face without make-up for half an hour!!!
Shut up and blog! If you claim to be a conservative, please don't disgrace yourself and conservatism by thinking and arguing like a liberal. Go Rudy!
Song Title
March 9, 2007 - 14:15 ET by Wonder95Yes, it's "Waterloo" by Abba.
I can hear it now
March 9, 2007 - 14:19 ET by Guy Arthur ThomasI can hear it now...thanks. Couric is just a laughingstock now.
Shut up and blog! If you claim to be a conservative, please don't disgrace yourself and conservatism by thinking and arguing like a liberal. Go Rudy!
Beyond the song, Waterloo, do
March 9, 2007 - 14:40 ET by Chris NormanBeyond the song, Waterloo, does this mean Katie has met hers? It's hard to recover from everyone laughing at you.
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Right Chris. I'd say she's
March 9, 2007 - 22:04 ET by Scout FinchRight Chris. I'd say she's officially 'jumped the shark'. But you're right. When you can find parody songs about you on the Internet, you're cooked. I'm feeling.....you know......kinda Schadenfreude. (sp?)
Thanks, I had no idea what
March 9, 2007 - 15:32 ET by Rich NoyesThanks, I had no idea what the original was. Here's a link I found of ABBA singing "Waterloo" in 1974, for those who want to indulge themselves.
Hi, Guy!You are right- the
March 9, 2007 - 14:16 ET by Tim the EnchanterHi, Guy!
You are right- the song is Abba's "Waterloo", which was their first hit, and the Eurovision song award winner for the year it was released. As far as the point of the song- there might be the "curiosity factor" at first (just like when she first arrived on the scene), but after that, I think the "gross-out" factor would come into play. Maybe she could do another colonoscopy?
Colonoscopy!?
March 9, 2007 - 14:32 ET by Guy Arthur ThomasColonoscopy!? Hmmmm.....I believe she is getting something like that right now...haha...of course I am speaking analogously...yuk...yuk...(volume back up) Waterloo...
Shut up and blog! If you claim to be a conservative, please don't disgrace yourself and conservatism by thinking and arguing like a liberal. Go Rudy!
I'll settle for nothing less
March 9, 2007 - 22:07 ET by Scout FinchI'll settle for nothing less than a lobotomy. Live. Film at 7:00.
CBS has one of two choices,
March 9, 2007 - 13:56 ET by mattmCBS has one of two choices, either get someone other than Katie to read in the nude, or get a real journalist in there and actually report the news rather than run an evening version of The Early Show.
If FOX went non-cable, they'd obliterate everyone.
I'd be up for Fox's Meghan Ke
March 9, 2007 - 15:14 ET by GalvanicI'd be up for Fox's Meghan Kelly (nee Kendall). Uh, wait, I didn't mean it that way . . . . Nah, who am I kidding? . . . That's exactly what I I meant. ;-)
I'd much rather see FNC's Cou
March 9, 2007 - 14:18 ET by TEI'd much rather see FNC's Courtney Friel or Julie Banderas in the nude.
Down, boy...The dogs bark, bu
March 9, 2007 - 14:35 ET by Chris NormanDown, boy.
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
I'm for MSNBC weatherbabe J
March 9, 2007 - 14:42 ET by sarcasmoI'm for MSNBC weatherbabe Jackie Meretsky...Yum (but I have no idea how she manages to seem that-happy that-early in the morning!)
JMR
Maybe just the knowledge she
March 9, 2007 - 14:51 ET by Chris NormanMaybe just the knowledge she looks that good makes her happy...
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
:) Being-Jackie, if I someh
March 9, 2007 - 15:07 ET by sarcasmo:) Being-Jackie, if I somehow magically-could, would no-doubt cause sarcasmo to be the world's-happiest lesb...Well, let's not go-there! Anyway, to go back for a moment from superficial-naked to serious, the thing that strikes me in this whole Kaplan-affair is the network's attitude toward the continued (correct, IMO) perception of their leftist bias. Hiring a person who was historically that-close to the Clintons right at a political time is unlikely to solve either the perception or the problem, IMO.
JMR
These days, I find myself ge
March 9, 2007 - 15:18 ET by Chris NormanThese days, I find myself getting all warm and fuzzy whenever Harris Faulkner on Fox News flashes her killer smile. It makes me want to call Fox and ask for her hand in marriage. :)
As for Kaplan, the problem is, only wonks like us notice this stuff. For the people who watch the network evening news, it ain't even a gnat's blip on their radar screen...
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Don't forget Carol Costello f
March 9, 2007 - 15:14 ET by Tony SDon't forget Carol Costello from CNN.
"Cualquier roto saca l
March 9, 2007 - 14:28 ET by Sua Sponte"Cualquier roto saca leche"
Any broken extraction mil
March 9, 2007 - 14:36 ET by MightyMouthAny
broken extraction milk?
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
Any hole extracts milk (more
March 9, 2007 - 14:39 ET by Sua SponteAny hole extracts milk (more or less).
Makes more sense, damn babl
March 9, 2007 - 14:42 ET by MightyMouthMakes more sense, damn bable fish
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
I 'm more inclined to believe
March 9, 2007 - 14:46 ET by Sua SponteI 'm more inclined to believe there are three types of people; wolves, sheep, and sheepdogs
Yes, I have heard that anal
March 9, 2007 - 14:52 ET by MightyMouthYes, I have heard that analogy before, it's seems very true. I also like the analogy in the blockbuster movie Team America: World Police . I won't go into the 3 kinds of people here... but equally valid.
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
You should check out Pink Flo
March 9, 2007 - 15:13 ET by Tony SYou should check out Pink Floyd's "Animals" LP, from 1977. They divide people into three categories: Dogs, Pigs and Sheep. Kind of like what you say, but with some good melodies and really kewl sound effects!!
Dogs
March 9, 2007 - 21:55 ET by UnsaneBehold the greatest line on the album you mention, and one of the coldest (and therefore most awesome) lines I have ever heard, from "Dogs":
"You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to, so that when they turn their backs on you, you'll get the chance to put the knife in..."
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
Sua Sponte, there are 10 kind
March 9, 2007 - 20:56 ET by MikeBSua Sponte, there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who can count in binary, and those who can't.
"A communist is someone who reads Marx. An anti-communist is someone who understands Marx." Ronald Reagan
Katie Nude? Yes please
March 9, 2007 - 14:35 ET by Six String SpiffHEY! Somebody out there is on the same wavelength!
Does this mean we have to fight for her? Bring it, punk! $-)
Sure, I watch the MSM... Through a pair of crosshairs.
If you want to see some fine
March 9, 2007 - 14:49 ET by Sua SponteIf you want to see some fine examples of news reporters/commentators/weather announcers, tune in the Spanish TV stations...
Holy crap! MightyMouth hits
March 9, 2007 - 15:21 ET by MightyMouthHoly crap! MightyMouth hits the jackpot!
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
MM,You're overheating. Take t
March 9, 2007 - 15:28 ET by Chris NormanMM,
You're overheating. Take two Helen Thomases and call your doctor.
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Or two Courics, same differ
March 9, 2007 - 15:31 ET by 1sttofightOr two Courics, same difference.
Always was a Melissa Stark
March 9, 2007 - 15:35 ET by balboaAlways was a Melissa Stark fan. How 'bout Claudia DiFolco? Hellooooo.
Hellooooo is right Amigo!&q
March 9, 2007 - 15:45 ET by MightyMouthHellooooo is right Amigo!
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
Actually, my suggestion amoun
March 9, 2007 - 15:37 ET by Chris NormanActually, my prescription amounts to potentially fatal over-medication. Mighty Mouth (or his survivors) could sue me for malpractice...
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Chris, I would like to than
March 9, 2007 - 15:49 ET by MightyMouthChris, I would like to thank you for NOT actually giving me the two Helens in the form of a link! Thank you so much, and you are forgiven!
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
MM,I can't imagine anyone bei
March 9, 2007 - 16:16 ET by Chris NormanMM,
I can't imagine anyone being that dastardly. It'd be like something out of The Ring, except a lot faster...:)
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
MM... Leave it to you... you
March 9, 2007 - 15:32 ET by bigtimerMM...
Leave it to you... you rascal you!
Seriously, she is the best thing msnbc has put on in years that has class, beauty and dresses great! At least it's my taste in drress...always has been...
Believe it or not, I thought of you when she first came on the scene...took ya long enough you bad boy you!
LOL!
Hehe BT, I guess I'm just l
March 9, 2007 - 15:40 ET by MightyMouthHehe BT, I guess I'm just lucky when it comes to finding women :-)
When that web page came up I thought I had hit the "mother load"! :-O
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
MM/bass
March 9, 2007 - 15:55 ET by bigtimerMM,
Well ya have good taste...that picture doesn't do her justice actually.
btw bass...my husband likes her too but he says he already has her twin, just a little older...lol! He has gotten smart by adding just a little older...she could be my daughter though!
She really is the best msnbc has done in a long time...too bad they are so intent on having a 24/7 leftist hatred fest for their own agenda...kind of like CBS and the hiring of Kaplan...all Hillary all the time, plus CBS is already joined up with the NYT's!
I have got to get off of here and get some work done! Later...I think...lol!
MM...my wife told me I cant h
March 9, 2007 - 15:46 ET by bassndudeMM...my wife told me I cant have any of them! WAAAAAAA!!!
Save a SeAL, club a liberal!!
What!!!!?? I suppose she ma
March 9, 2007 - 15:57 ET by MightyMouthWhat!!!!??
I suppose she makes you come home every night too!!
Next thing you know she will want your paycheck!
:-)
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
You mean I shouldent give her
March 9, 2007 - 16:02 ET by bassndudeYou mean I shouldent give her my check? She always told me it was hers by proxy! You just wait till she goes to sleep tonight! I'll show her. I will drink a beer! At home! In my underware!!
Save a SeAL, club a liberal!!
Bass, it pains me greatly tha
March 9, 2007 - 21:07 ET by MikeBBass, it pains me greatly that a fellow Okie could be the subject of The Man Song.
You need to learn to wear the pants in your family. Back when I was married, my wife and I fought all the time. The last time we fought, she came crawling to me on her hands and knees. She said, "come out from under that bed and fight like a man!" ;->
"A communist is someone who reads Marx. An anti-communist is someone who understands Marx." Ronald Reagan
MikeB...LMAO!Thanks...I neede
March 9, 2007 - 21:13 ET by bigtimerMikeB...
LMAO!
Thanks...I needed that about now!
You da man!
Btw...I am sending that link to tons of friends...it is great!
Bring home flowers now and th
March 9, 2007 - 16:04 ET by bigtimerBring home flowers now and then...lol!
This made my day!Naturally I
March 9, 2007 - 15:41 ET by bigtimerThis made my day!
Naturally I love the tune..brings back memories, but my favorite line was 'CBS....it's time to find Dan Rather's address'...
Too funny!
Thanks Rich...I needed that!
Blech...
March 9, 2007 - 16:00 ET by derbalHey Rich, I just had lunch. I don't need the visual of Katie not wearing clothes.
Seriously, when she gets the boot, and she will, CBS, Katie and the moonbats will all blame it on a conspiracy by bigoted white males, or a right wing hatchet job. They won't blame it on the fact that Katie's way of doing things just doesn't work.
If CBS had Univision weather
March 9, 2007 - 16:30 ET by TEIf CBS had Univision weather girl Jackie Guerrido read the news in the nude, CBS would destroy the competition.