Listen up, sports fans: your favorite weekly magazine is worried about global warming, and how it might impact your next trip to the ballpark. I kid you not.
In fact, Sports Illustrated is so concerned about this issue that it’s the cover-story of the March 12 issue. Just read the hysterical opening paragraph (h/t Drudge):
The next time a ball game gets rained out during the September stretch run, you can curse the momentary worthlessness of those tickets in your pocket. Or you can wonder why it got rained out -- and ask yourself why practice had to be called off last summer on a day when there wasn't a cloud in the sky; and why that Gulf Coast wharf where you used to reel in mackerel and flounder no longer exists; and why it's been more than one winter since you pulled those titanium skis out of the garage.
Nice beginning, dontcha think? And here’s the truly delicious punchline:
Global warming is not coming; it is here. Greenhouse gases -- most notably carbon dioxide produced by burning coal, oil and gas -- are trapping solar heat that once escaped from the Earth's atmosphere. As temperatures around the globe increase, oceans are warming, fields are drying up, snow is melting, more rain is falling, and sea levels are rising.
SI, as the bastion of scientific reason, had the decency of making some suggestions:
Turbines mounted on upper decks would catch the same wind that plays whimsically with pop flies, turning it into the source of power to offset at least some of the energy demands of a ball game. Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Mass., features a water filtration and reuse system that collects and recirculates "black" and "gray water" to make the most of all that beer and all those flushes.
Yet, the best was saved for last:
"It's the last of the semipagan calendars we keep," [writer and activist Bill] McKibben says, "and a lot of it is going to disappear. All that Bart Giamatti stuff" -- the pastoral invocations of the former commissioner of baseball -- "has a different valence if we're not going to Florida for spring training, but to St. Paul. We're still so used to the idea that we can deal with the forces of nature that we think nothing of naming our teams Hurricanes and Cyclones. In 10 years, that will be like calling a team the Plagues."
Ten years. That's two-and-a-half Olympiads -- enough time for our teams and athletes to take the lead, galvanize attention and influence behavior. When they do, per usual, may we cheer and may we follow. But as we watch, let us remember that this game is different. We don't have the luxury of looking on from the sidelines. We must become players too.
Truly unbelievable. Now I've got to put up with this nonsense while watching a baseball game.
What's the world coming to?
—Noel Sheppard is the Associate Editor of NewsBusters. Follow him at Facebook and Twitter.
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Comments Policy
Ahem.......................bu
March 7, 2007 - 23:08 ET by BlazerAhem.......................but what if your favorite past time is boating, like mine?
If I wanted more fair, accurate, and patriotic reporting than what our MSM has to offer, I'd just tune in to Al-Jazeera.
Great analysis by the NB st
March 7, 2007 - 23:16 ET by Jake GonteskyGreat analysis by the NB staff, as usual. I just wrapped up a long, sourced rebuttal on this very "news" item.
As a meteorologist, the supposed facts presented by SI were quick to jump out at me. I know I'm not alone.
http://www.notesinthemargin.com
Good follow up Mammatus."
March 7, 2007 - 23:36 ET by BlazerGood follow up Mammatus.
"Every organism on the planet is already feeling its impact"
Damn frostbite.
If I wanted more fair, accurate, and patriotic reporting than what our MSM has to offer, I'd just tune in to Al-Jazeera.
Hoyt, Holten, Hiawatha, etc...
March 8, 2007 - 00:28 ET by acaiguanaHoyt, Holten, Hiawatha, etc...
:-)
ACA
...
Quoted from: 'Acaiguana Notes from the Bomb Shelter' (soon to be a movie at theaters near you)
SI
March 8, 2007 - 08:44 ET by jscrumpI'm sure that SI will shocked when they learn that the Muppets are not really alive! Must be tough to live in their fantasy world. Any one going to tell them about the Easter Bunny?
What about the Easter Bunny?
March 8, 2007 - 11:43 ET by tgibbsjrWhat about the Easter Bunny? Next thing you know, you'll start saying bad things about Santa! Please don't....I can't handle the truth!
I knew there was a reason I e
March 7, 2007 - 23:23 ET by cr_uvaI knew there was a reason I ended my subscription.
The issue is settled
March 8, 2007 - 00:22 ET by Ten7sFirst Algore (a man with a "carbon footprint" bigger than my neighborhood) and now the sports media (a group who spends most of their time contemplating profound mysteries like "whether Barry Bonds has taken steriods" and "whether O.J. did it"), okay that settles it once and for all, the case is closed; its not debatable anymore. Just when the Liberals get as irrational and absurd as one thinks possible...
"Because of the melting of gl
March 8, 2007 - 00:42 ET by Lancasters Saved Us"Because of the melting of glaciers and polar ice, and because water expands as it warms, oceans are rising."
Hunh?? They had their top staff scientist come up with a worry that as water heats it expands....I would bet a 10 degree increase in water temp would increase the water level by .002 inches.
Must have been a slow month i
March 8, 2007 - 02:15 ET byMust have been a slow month in sports-news. Jeepers!
Holy Crap! Does this mean w
March 8, 2007 - 02:28 ET by radiofitz34Holy Crap! Does this mean we get soggy soft pretzels at the game in the future? Ok let's all sing along now...take me out and drown me, take me out with the crowd, buy me some peanuts and cracker jack, I can't swim so I'll never get back so just root root root for whose still breathing, if they don't win it's a shame, for it's one, two, (blub blub) three strikes yer out at the old ball game! Yeah
loll.... Now THAT was good! l
March 8, 2007 - 07:23 ET byloll.... Now THAT was good! lollll......
NO ESCAPE
March 8, 2007 - 06:43 ET by UnsaneWhat, are spring training in baseball, March Madness and the heating up of the NBA season not sufficient topics of discussion?
It is quite sad to see that there is NO escape from politics, not even in Sports Illustrated.
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
SI swimsuit models need to wear less anyway.
March 8, 2007 - 07:47 ET by Dave RSad to see yet another once-great publication being co-opted by Al Gorleone and his Global Warming Mafia.
I suggest SI put its money where its mouth is, as I will expect the next swimsuit issue to feature fully nude models.
Global warmin', ya know. :-)
BTW-If Turner Field starts selling re-cycled beer, then I have attended my last Braves game.
This sounds more like an arti
March 8, 2007 - 08:13 ET by muh-oonThis sounds more like an article from Mad magazine. Turbines mounted on upper decks? I expected to read a joke about rising water levels and stadium crowds doing the "wave".
Well, in the "grain of
March 8, 2007 - 08:23 ET by dervishWell, in the "grain of salt" category, one only has to compare SI's preseason predictions to the various champions of Super Bowls, World Series, NCAA tournaments, etc. and you quickly see how accurate their predicting powers are. Even within their specialty they're pritnear worthless.
But the good news -- having now been on the cover of SI, global warning is officially done for. Look for this coming summer to be the coolest in 50 years, and people in Miami better buy snow shovels while they can.
Seems to me like newspapers a
March 8, 2007 - 08:45 ET by NortonalecSeems to me like newspapers and magazines kill a lot of trees. They also use a lot of gas to deliver their goods.
Nortonalec
Holy schamoley -- it was qu
March 8, 2007 - 18:46 ET by dervishHoly schamoley -- it was quicker than I thought. From Drudge.
SI Global Hogwash
March 8, 2007 - 08:36 ET by TrailerThe SI "journalist" has contributed to Dean, Kerry, and the DNC.
Trailer: Do you have a sou
March 8, 2007 - 14:14 ET by Jake GonteskyTrailer: Do you have a source/link for that? I'd love to ammend my rebuttal to this SI Cover story to include that info.
EDIT: Add to find Alexander Wolff's page on Open Secrets.org (pending this isn't some other Alexander Wolff): $500 to Howard Dean, Total of $1120 to the DNC. I'll be adding this page to my SI Rebuttal.
http://www.notesinthemargin.com
Changing the game?Did somon
March 8, 2007 - 08:42 ET by Right2thePointChanging the game?
Did somone prove steriods react different at higher temperatures?
I want to know what joker gav
March 8, 2007 - 09:20 ET by danboI want to know what joker gave my name to the Sierra Club. I just got a thick packet from them requesting I contact Sen. Reid and Queen Pelosi. In opposition to the nature hatting Bush. And of course ask me to join.
You could have saved a sappling by not sending me the dribble. Not to mention the CO2 required for producing and getting that garbage to me.
Who did it? I know your out there. LOL
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.” H.L. Mencken
Oh, good grief. September is
March 8, 2007 - 10:39 ET by chessplayerOh, good grief. September is still a warm month. But now if it rains during September, we should blame global warming for it?
I just got a thick packet f
March 8, 2007 - 11:13 ET by Dave in TexasI just got a thick packet from them...
Surely you jest. Doesn't the Sierra Club realize that producing and distributing those packets results in the emission of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere? Don't they care about the planet? Won't somebody please think of the children?
Dave, I'm sure that it was al
March 8, 2007 - 11:52 ET by tgibbsjrDave, I'm sure that it was all done with re-recycled paper....flown by plane whose carbon foot print was offset by some feel-good enviromental thingy (scientific term).....then delivered to your mail box with an all electric (or even hydrogen) car......snicker....snicker....
round and round
March 8, 2007 - 11:11 ET by acumenFinally it makes sense. Global warming is responsible for planet change. Not moonbat liberals and their terrorist alter-egos as Ma and Pa Moderate first thought. How convenient for al gore and al sadr.
SI GLOBAL WARMING
March 8, 2007 - 11:12 ET by Mike LesterIt get's better: Rick Reilly's column begrudges a youth basketball team who fly on a private jet. Appears one of the players father is founder of Excel Communications and worth 1.1bil. Of course Reilly uses an inner city team who travel by Suburban and eat KFC as comparison. A truly transparent socialist-laden column.
"The next time a ball ga
March 8, 2007 - 12:04 ET by tgibbsjr"The next time a ball game gets rained out during the September stretch run, you can curse the momentary worthlessness of those tickets in your pocket. Or you can wonder why it got rained out -- and ask yourself why practice had to be called off last summer on a day when there wasn't a cloud in the sky; and why that Gulf Coast wharf where you used to reel in mackerel and flounder no longer exists"
I have a question, where is all the rain coming from if the Gulf Coast no longer exist? Did I miss something? You'll have to forgive me, I'm from Alabama.
Forgive me if I re-hash someone elses' point(s). So we can blame all of the following things on GW.
Wow if all of this is Global Warming aka (America's Fault), then we're screwed. Maybe not.....I'm thinking about buying some property up in the North Pole, or even Antarctica. Should be really cheap. In the next 10-20 (when all the ice is gone and it's all beach front property), I can sell it for a fortune and finally be rich!! Yay! Anybody care to join me?
time warner, what do you expe
March 8, 2007 - 13:15 ET by buddyctime warner, what do you expect?
no wonder espn mag is thriving and si is sucking.
in 1992 after being a lifestime subscriber i terminated all subscriptions to time/warner products like time and si.
sports is not politics. it is insane to combine the two.
Good news for Twins fan
March 8, 2007 - 14:34 ET by nkviking75The Minnesota Twins are hoping to build a new outdoor stadium. For Twins fans, a warmer climate in the early and late season weeks would be a great thing. No snow-outs.
Go Twins!
Hey NK,Is this in addition to
March 8, 2007 - 19:59 ET by BlondeHey NK,
Is this in addition to the Dome?
BTW...what is a warmer climate in Minnesota? The one year I lived there....I was laughed out of the room. I wore a jacket the entire time....as a native Floridian...it was always so cold during summer evenings that I had on jeans, jacket, etc....when the rest of the gang was wearing shorts.
Gotta give you a second, though. Go Twins. It's the only baseball I'm remotely interested in. Just a hangover, I guess.
Reply to Blonde: New Twins stadium
March 9, 2007 - 22:59 ET by nkviking75Blonde, I didn't mean to ignore you. I'm busier than ever lately.
The new stadium would replace the Metrodome. The other major tenants, the Vikings and the U. of Minnesota Golden Gophers, also are working on new stadiums. I'm not sure what would happen to the Dome. They'd probably tear it down. It's especially lousy for baseball. I've been on that field, and I can tell you it's very easy to lose a baseball against the backdrop of the inflatable dome.
As for what's warmer, well, we got into the 40's today and I had to restock my supply of suntan oil. OK, I'm kidding.
Way to go Sports Illustrated!
March 8, 2007 - 19:40 ET by taznarWay to go Sports Illustrated!
Way to promote the stereotype that athletes aren't smart enough to understand science!
Or at least the reporters covering sports.
5 degree increase, what sci
March 8, 2007 - 20:38 ET by worldleader5 degree increase, what science is he basing this off of? They must be pretty desperate to sell magazines to put a topic like this on the front page. Before I read this, I asked myself if it would be a one sided article? I obviously was asking for too much.
The Intergovernmental Panel o
March 8, 2007 - 21:03 ET by NL207The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has estimated that the Earth will warm 1.7 to 5.4 degrees Celsius by the year 2100. To put this in perspective, the Earth warmed about 0.6 degree Celsius in the 20th century. The SI article is quoting the extreme maximum of the IPCC forecast. This is very unlikely to actually occur. Some people even think the lower end of the IPCC forecast is unlikely to be met.
A new IPCC report is soon to be issued, perhaps in June. It might revise these predictions.