Dennis Miller Takes on the Oscars, Al Gore, NY Times and ACLU

Photo of Noel Sheppard.

It was “Miller Time” again on the “O’Reilly Factor” Wednesday night, and though the boys got off to a slow start, they finished quite strong.

This increasingly popular Fox News segment featuring comedian Dennis Miller and host Bill O'Reilly focused on the Oscars, Al Gore, the New York Times, and the recent virtually unreported ACLU controversy.

With that in mind, here are some of the highlights for your viewing and entertainment pleasure (video available here courtesy of our friend Ms Underestimated):

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Well, listen, Leo, who is quite an impressive guy. I think he should front that effort, opposed to Gore who I find a bit of a stiff. But he said it's the first green Oscars. But let's be truthful, there's always a suitable degree of envy in that room on any given year. It's always been a little green.

Badumbum. Miller continued:

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And you know, when Gore came up, I don't like lock step, even if it's ostensibly about open-mindedness. And that's what it seems like. Everybody is on board. This same woman, Tipper Gore, they used to polarize and make fun of, all of a sudden they're the belles of the ball.

[…]

I thought the low point of the Oscars, though, Bill, is when Ellen did the joke about the recount in Florida. This is what cracks me up about Al Gore. He is absolutely certain of temperature figures in the year 2057. Absolutely certain as he tells you about them. And yet, when you talk about election figures from the year 2000, they're still gray and murky, you know.

That set up the following delicious exchange:

O'REILLY: Well, I don't -- see, a lot of right-wing people dislike Gore, and they try to hurt him, by saying look -- look at his place in Tennessee that's got, you know, his carbon footprint.

MILLER: That right winger faction.

O'REILLY: Well, but the thing is everybody can be called upon as a hypocrite. Everybody. Nobody -- you could say OK, you want this, but you do that.

And for Gore, I think Gore is doing a service. I think we should have a debate about global warming. Fine.

MILLER: But 20 times the average household?

O'REILLY: Well, you know, he's using it around his office. And Tipper is having big parties in there when he's gone. You didn't know that. When he's gone out of town, woo! I mean, that's where it's going.

MILLER: Short of the Tennessee Valley Authority, that much energy has never been -- and I know he's not using them on a treadmill. I saw him at the Oscars.

O'REILLY: You know, he's got the private jet. Of course he's got the private jet. I mean, come on.

MILLER: All those things are fine. I'm just saying periodically drop the veneer and go, "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."

O'REILLY: Right. You can't be criticizing somebody who -- this global warming thing is important. That's the way I feel about it.

MILLER: Me too. But...

O'REILLY: But I agree with you...

MILLER: If he's going to front it he can't have an Emmitt Kelly size carbon footprint.

O'REILLY: Next -- next year, I guarantee you a polar bear is going to win the Oscars. It's going to, because they're drowning. And I'm sending life vests.

Finally, the two moved on to the ACLU and the New York Times:

MILLER: This is exactly the issue that the New York Times should beeline in on and become the great paper they were at one point. But they have fallen so far.

You want me to tell you, when I was coming in here today, I saw Jayson Blair sleeping on a park bench under a Daily News. That's how bad it has gotten.

The masthead over there at one point read "All the news that's fit to print."

O'REILLY: To print, right.

MILLER: But it's someone suddenly morphed to an agenda where "it's all the news that fits, we print."

O'REILLY: That fits our far left view of the world.

MILLER: Man, and I really believe it. I'm not being paranoid.

O'REILLY: No, it's true.

MILLER: The paper's ombudsman is Fidel Castro. And you know something? They're so anti-Bush now that they won't even use words in the crossword puzzle that have a "W" in it.

O'REILLY: Can you imagine, I mean, here's a guy that fought against library filters in Virginia, this guy, and won. The ACLU knocked out any filter. So you can get child porn in the libraries of Virginia if you want to.

And then he's busted on child porn. And the Washington Post puts it in the metro section with three paragraphs.

MILLER: Well, you know, might shed some light on whenever I hear the ACLU is fighting for the rights of NAMBLA yet against the rights of Boy Scouts to be on public campgrounds. You think what is wrong over there? Maybe this gives a glimpse into that.

O'REILLY: I hope so. I mean, I hope people finally wake up and see how extreme...

MILLER: Well, they got to wake up at the New York Times, too. Somebody should pinch Sulzberger and wake him up. Because he's got worse circulation problems than a guy climbing Everest in a Speedo.

O'REILLY: He is a committed leftist who's going to go to his grave that way. He's going to use his vehicle, and that's it.

MILLER: Especially in the '08 election.

Great stuff, guys. What follows is a full transcript of this segment.

O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.

In the "Miller Time" segment tonight, doesn't get better than this for Mr. Miller, who has some thoughts on the Oscars and the left-wing press. Dennis joins us now here in the New York studio.

DENNIS MILLER, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Dr. O'Reilly.

O'REILLY: Nice to see you.

MILLER: Thank you for having me.

O'REILLY: Are you doing Letterman tomorrow night?

MILLER: Yes. I just flew in from Las Vegas. And I might be a off my feet tonight.

O'REILLY: I want you to tell Dave -- I want you to tell Dave I said hello. It will be interesting to see how he treats you, now that you are doing this program. He's our best friend over there.

All right. Did you go to any of the Oscar parties?

MILLER: No. I'm not persona non grata, but I live like 90 miles away from L.A. I wouldn't do that.

O'REILLY: Would they have invited you?

MILLER: Yes, I have to give Grayden Carter -- you know, he's invited me to all his parties.

O'REILLY: The "Vanity Fair" thing?

MILLER: This year he didn't. And then I saw the guest list, Gore and Natalie Maines. You know, these are people that I kind of poke fun at. So I can see where he wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable.

O'REILLY: But I'd love to see you walk in and see how the reaction is, you know. Because they're not confrontational, these people. They're usually not confrontational.

MILLER: Well, I have to tell you, Bill. I don't -- listen, I get a little of it. Actually, Rob Reiner will say I'm naive. But short of that, you know, I don't get much -- it doesn't get fractious.

O'REILLY: Even when I ran into Natalie Maines, she didn't say anything. She said when I -- the next day she said nasty stuff but not to my face.

All right. So you watched the Oscar broadcast?

MILLER: Well, listen, I thought Ellen was good. I thought Helen Mirren was the prettiest gal in the room. I love the fact that by the time Alan Arkin got to the stage Eddie Murphy was gone out of the theater already. You could see that Roadrunner cloud heading off into the distance after he lost.

O'REILLY: They don't like Eddie Murphy out there in Hollywood.

MILLER: Well, you know, listen. Eddie -- truth be told I think Eddie's one of those guys if you said to him, would you rather win the Oscar or would you rather continue to have your price be $20 million a film.

O'REILLY: You've known him for a long time.

MILLER: No, I can't say that I do. But I did meet him way back when because of the "Saturday Night Live", the right stuff group. And so I've met him over the years.

But listen, Eddie likes to be unto himself. And really, I guess I think he felt a little pulled into that. He didn't want to buy into it completely. I saw him pulling out "Pluto Nash" references the whole way up the red carpet.

O'REILLY: Everybody knew Arkin was going to win. It's all a popularity contest at this point.

MILLER: By the way, the thing about the people who die is interesting to me. They put that very touching clip package together every year. Is it just me or does, like, Jack Palance die once a year?

O'REILLY: They have to bring him back because he was such a hit. He was probably the funniest thing that's happened to the Oscars with the one- handed push-up.

Now, when you saw the Al Gore celebratory theme how did that strike you?

MILLER: Well, listen, Leo, who is quite an impressive guy. I think he should front that effort, opposed to Gore who I find a bit of a stiff. But he said it's the first green Oscars.

But let's be truthful, there's always a suitable degree of envy in that room on any given year. It's always been a little green.

And you know, when Gore came up, I don't like lock step, even if it's ostensibly about open-mindedness. And that's what it seems like. Everybody is on board. This same woman, Tipper Gore, they used to polarize and make fun of, all of a sudden they're the belles of the ball.

And I love the fact that when they gave the standing ovation Nicholson did not stand. This is why I love Jack Nicholson.

O'REILLY: He couldn't stand. He couldn't. See how much weight he put on? And he's got the glasses, and it throws him off.

MILLER: And he's still the coolest guy in the room.

O'REILLY: He is. He'll always be that.

MILLER: I thought the low point of the Oscars, though, Bill, is when Ellen did the joke about the recount in Florida. This is what cracks me up about Al Gore. He is absolutely certain of temperature figures in the year 2057. Absolutely certain as he tells you about them. And yet, when you talk about election figures from the year 2000, they're still gray and murky, you know.

O'REILLY: Well, I don't -- see, a lot of right-wing people dislike Gore, and they try to hurt him, by saying look -- look at his place in Tennessee that's got, you know, his carbon footprint.

MILLER: That right winger faction.

O'REILLY: Well, but the thing is everybody can be called upon as a hypocrite. Everybody. Nobody -- you could say OK, you want this, but you do that.

And for Gore, I think Gore is doing a service. I think we should have a debate about global warming. Fine.

MILLER: But 20 times the average household?

O'REILLY: Well, you know, he's using it around his office. And Tipper is having big parties in there when he's gone. You didn't know that. When he's gone out of town, woo! I mean, that's where it's going.

MILLER: Short of the Tennessee Valley Authority, that much energy has never been -- and I know he's not using them on a treadmill. I saw him at the Oscars.

O'REILLY: You know, he's got the private jet. Of course he's got the private jet. I mean, come on.

MILLER: All those things are fine. I'm just saying periodically drop the veneer and go, "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."

O'REILLY: Right. You can't be criticizing somebody who -- this global warming thing is important. That's the way I feel about it.

MILLER: Me too. But...

O'REILLY: But I agree with you...

MILLER: If he's going to front it he can't have an Emmitt Kelly size carbon footprint.

O'REILLY: Next -- next year, I guarantee you a polar bear is going to win the Oscars. It's going to, because they're drowning. And I'm sending life vests.

MILLER: What else you got on the plate tonight?

O'REILLY: I've got the ACLU official in Virginia being busted in child porn and no left wing media covering it. This is outrageous.

MILLER: This is exactly the issue that the New York Times should beeline in on and become the great paper they were at one point. But they have fallen so far.

You want me to tell you, when I was coming in here today, I saw Jayson Blair sleeping on a park bench under a Daily News. That's how bad it has gotten.

The masthead over there at one point read "All the news that's fit to print."

O'REILLY: To print, right.

MILLER: But it's someone suddenly morphed to an agenda where "it's all the news that fits, we print."

O'REILLY: That fits our far left view of the world.

MILLER: Man, and I really believe it. I'm not being paranoid.

O'REILLY: No, it's true.

MILLER: The paper's ombudsman is Fidel Castro. And you know something? They're so anti-Bush now that they won't even use words in the crossword puzzle that have a "W" in it.

O'REILLY: Can you imagine, I mean, here's a guy that fought against library filters in Virginia, this guy, and won. The ACLU knocked out any filter. So you can get child porn in the libraries of Virginia if you want to.

And then he's busted on child porn. And the Washington Post puts it in the metro section with three paragraphs.

MILLER: Well, you know, might shed some light on whenever I hear the ACLU is fighting for the rights of NAMBLA yet against the rights of Boy Scouts to be on public campgrounds. You think what is wrong over there? Maybe this gives a glimpse into that.

O'REILLY: I hope so. I mean, I hope people finally wake up and see how extreme...

MILLER: Well, they got to wake up at the New York Times, too. Somebody should pinch Sulzberger and wake him up. Because he's got worse circulation problems than a guy climbing Everest in a Speedo.

O'REILLY: He is a committed leftist who's going to go to his grave that way. He's going to use his vehicle, and that's it.

MILLER: Especially in the '08 election.

O'REILLY: All right. So tell Dave Letterman I said hello. All right? And you love being on "The Factor".

MILLER: And we'll hook up for a steak afterwards.

O'REILLY: And Letterman, love to see him in here.

MILLER: I'll be like Sinatra bringing Dean and Jerry back together.

O'REILLY: That's right. Get us together.

Dennis Miller everybody.

—Noel Sheppard is the Associate Editor of NewsBusters.


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Miller

Dennis Miller--a sane voice crying out in the desert which is Hollywood. Loved that line about the circulation of the NYT being like a guy climbing Mount Everest in a Speedo. Miller's a true wit.

(p.s. O'Reilly should stop speaking over him.)

NEVER,NEVER trust a liberal

Miller's good. Wish he was st

Miller's good. Wish he was still on HBO.

Loved it when Dana Carvey used to imitate him on SNL, too.

Miller

I enjoy Dennis Miller and BOR. The problem with these segments is Bill keeps stepping on DM's punchlines or the last of his many subreferences.  They are not quite in sync.

I prefered when DM used to have a brief monologue segment on Fox News.

Why doesn't Bill talk about s

Why doesn't Bill talk about sexually harassing Andrea Mackris, now that would be funny.  I wonder how much Bill paid to keep her quiet? I watched Dennis Miller he isn't very funny, that's why his show was canceled. I wonder who Bill was" looking out for" when he was talking dirty to Andrea...More than likey his wife picking up the phone. Thank goodness The Center for Missing and Exploited Children canceled his speaking engagement, because of the awful things he said about Shawn Hornbeck. What kind of man would say that a child being repeatedly rapped, had more fun with his rapists than he had at home? Bill has a sick idea of what"fun" is.

Troll alert

Crawl back into your leftist cave, you troll.

Crawl back into your leftist

Crawl back into your leftist cave, you troll.

Let him talk, Shrillary. All it means is that he can't or isn't able to refute what BOR and Miller said about his liberal friends and institutions.

Reply

Hey rainlillie, you are absolutely right about Bill.  Damn, you nailed his ass. 

By the way, how is Juanita Broderick doing?

poor liberals. So quick to

poor liberals. So quick to point out a problem in a conservative, but when a problem comes from a liberal, they don't believe it, and/or still blame it on the conservative.

As conservatives we should be

As conservatives we should be quick to call out hypocrisy among our own ranks because we do have a standard to live up to.  What do liberals have?  Tolerance?  Political correctness?  Feelings?  A pretty murky standard to use...

Dutch

Yet another drive-by postin

Yet another drive-by posting. Rainlille's motto: "All talking points, all the time". No substance, no facts, no links, just "feelings, nothing more than feelings..."

Here's a link with a fact for

Here's a link with a fact for ya!

Here's a link with a fact for

Here's a link with a fact for ya!

Dick Cheney's electric bill 

Dick Cheney's electric bill  last year was $135,000, and the taxpayers paid for it.

Reply

Hey ding, your point is..... what?  Are you upset about Gore's hypocrisy being exposed?  Yes, the tax payers paid Cheney's electric bill and they also own the house he lives in, along with the White House and the Capitol Building and the Pentagon and the Supreme Court building and so on.  See Cheney's electic bill is covered because he was elected to public office, hense the payment by the public.

Any other funny points you want to try and make?

Do you have a source for this

Do you have a source for this?

There's a huge difference between taxpayers paying for a sitting Vice-President and his expenses.  It's part of the deal.

Besides, Dick Cheney isn't championing global warming, conservation, etc.  You can see the hypocrisy, right?

Darth Dutch

Troll

Dick Cheney is not the self-appointed global warming guru, here to save us from ourselves and our dastardly SUVs. 

Dick Cheney's electric bill 

Dick Cheney's electric bill  last year was $135,000, and the taxpayers paid for it.

I'm sure you have the bill amount for Al Gore when he was vice-president, right? We also helped pay that one and is more significant, since Gore is the hypocrite while Cheney isn't. 

I smell Troll.

I smell Troll.

Hard to Believe

It's hard to believe dennis miller's still on TV. He wasn't funny 20 years ago, 10 years ago, nor now. Nor is he poignant. He's a sycophantic mirror image of al franken, but franken's funny sometimes, if only for making fun of himself (and funny about himself when he's not trying to be). miller's always got this guard up, this huge fence in the middle of his punchline, even when he was a liberal a couple decades ago, till he saw no money there, I've always figured. But he's always got this guard up that says: this is funny....if you don't agree, you're a moron, but it's funny and either come with me, or consider yourself an idiot.

I'd rather hear a boring church sermon than miller any day.

Maybe he's not funny because

Maybe he's not funny because you don't get it. I think he's hilarious. Now Al Franken, is stupid, childish and just plain NOT funny.

gfrrman

gfrmann: you may be right. I don't get him no matter his subject he's on or which direction he's swinging from that year. Just his delivery and I guess, his personality behind it. But I do like him in a couple film's he's been in, at least, the characters he plays. He's good at hiding behind something, so (like in that demi moore michael douglass whatever it was movie).

JoeP,Sorry, maybe you've left

JoeP,

Sorry, maybe you've left your sense of humor behind.  Dennis has been hillarious since his days on SNL....as the News Reader (better looking than Perky, IMHO) when he'd read the news and then give it a big fat pitch  (okay...toss, but always to the left...throw the paper, LOL).

If you're having a hard time seeing DM's humor, maybe you need an adjustment.  I know a good Chiropractor. 

His humor is more sophisticat

His humor is more sophisticated than the childish antics of most. You really have to listen to him or you'll miss something. Some of his references are way over my head and then I think about it later and it finally dawns on me what he said. He apparently reads an awful lot and has quite a memory. I did like his old show on HBO. I agree with you on the few films he's been in... he's not bad an actor(another one about computer stuff with Sandra Bullock?).

Not a Sophist

gfrrman (I gotta know what that stands for!!) and blonde:

Still and all, I just don't find his comedy or coments that funny or even sophisticated. I'm not that bright or sophisticated myself, but a lot of times you can smell the punchline coming a mile away, even from around the corner.

So we'll just have to disagree on his funniness!

But now, Eddie Izzard --- he's hilarious --- once past the dress and make up!

But back to the topic of the ACLU: what a criminal organization --- I think we can agree on that one!

Cheers JoeP

pay attention, joe p.

Miller isn't doing gags. His humor has no punch line; we don't hang around him expecting a bust-up LMAO. It's more a Will Rogers bit; (you never heard of Will Rogers?)

You are entertained with the ironic edge of even his serious musing.

Guess who had the gift? None other than Jack Kennedy. He was witty.

.

Hey tumb,That was an excellen

Hey tumb,

That was an excellent comparison with Will Rogers, his humor is more like that.

I love his sense of humor and dry wit, you have to catch it and really listen to every word.

JoeP,Guess we'll just have to

JoeP,

Guess we'll just have to disagree on Dennis.  I even loved his show on CNBC, the one with the stupid monkey.

And you're spot on about the ACLU.