As many folks are aware, Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly and Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert decided to finally meet one another and be interviewed on each other shows Thursday night.
Strangely, the segment on the “O’Reilly Factor” was actually much funnier than “The Colbert Report,” as Stephen began: "I want you to know that I spend so much time in the world that is spinning all the time, that to be in the no spin zone actually gives me vertigo."
However, I don’t want to spoil any more of the fun. As such, the video of Thursday’s “Factor” is available here, and “The Colbert Report” here.
What follows is a full transcript of the fun on the former. Enjoy.
O'REILLY: Thanks for staying with us. I'm Bill O'Reilly.
In the "Culture War" segment tonight, "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central is a very successful program that owes everything to me. Each night host Stephen Colbert tries to convince Americans that he is me.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STEPHEN COLBERT, HOST, COMEDY CENTRAL'S "THE COLBERT REPORT": This show is not about me. No, this program is dedicated to you, the heroes. And who are the heroes? The people who watch this show. Average hard working Americans. You're not the elite; you're not the country club crowd.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
O'REILLY: Now who does that remind you of? With us now is Stephen Colbert.
COLBERT: Bill, thank you for having me on. This is an amazing honor. I want you to know that I spend so much time in the world that is spinning all the time, that to be in the no spin zone actually gives me vertigo.
O'REILLY: OK. Are you ready for the interview?
COLBERT: I'm ready for anything. My life is an open book. I've been waiting my whole life for this, sir. I'm here at the heart of O'Reilly-dom right now. This is the holy of holies. Hit it. I'd love to be nailed.
O'REILLY: Colbert, that's a French name, is it not?
COLBERT: It's a French name, just to get the cultural elites on my side, Bill. I'm as Irish as you. I'm a Cormie (ph), I'm an O'Neal. I'm a Tuck. I'm a Phee. I'm a Connolly.
O'REILLY: Because I talked to...
COLBERT: I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.
O'REILLY: I talked to your third grade teacher, Miss Crabtree. She said back then you were little Steve Coal-bert. Is that right?
COLBERT: In South Carolina, I was Steve Coal-bert.
O'REILLY: But you, once you got here to Manhattan from South Carolina, changed from little Steve Colbert to Stephen Colbert.
COLBERT: Bill, you know you've got to play the game that the media elites want you to do. OK? Some places you can draw the line. Some place you can't. You and I have taken a lot of positions against the powers that be, and we've paid a heavy price. We have TV shows, product lines and books. OK? It's not the price we pay.
O'REILLY: It is tough being me. Is it tough being you?
COLBERT: It's hard for me to be you. I'll tell you that much.
O'REILLY: It is? It is? Don't you owe me an enormous amount of money?
COLBERT: Well, if I were imitating you I would, Bill. But there's a difference between imitation and emulation. Let me tell you the difference. OK? If you imitate someone, you owe them a royalty check. If you emulate them, you don't. There's a big difference. Check your lawyer.
O'REILLY: I will. I will. Now what is it exactly that you do on your program?
COLBERT: What I do, Bill, is I catch the world in the headlights of my justice. OK?
O'REILLY: Your justice?
COLBERT: I shine my lights -- OK -- I shine my light no matter where that light takes me. OK? I'm not afraid of anything. Might be afraid of you. But other than that I'm not afraid of a thing in the world. Nothing. We, on my show, and by we I mean me, usually.
O'REILLY: Yes, it's just you. Right?
COLBERT: That's it.
O'REILLY: OK.
COLBERT: Turn the cameras on. I go. All right? Nothing...
O'REILLY: No writers.
COLBERT: Nothing prepared. I improvise the show every night, just like you do, Bill. There's nothing in these prompters. You're making this up as you go.
O'REILLY: It's all me. It's all me. Now who watches you? What's your audience? Do you do research? Do you know who...
COLBERT: Well, Bill, that's one of the reasons I want to do my show. OK? I emulate you.
O'REILLY: Yes.
COLBERT: And I want to bring your message of love and peace, which I understand that is your message.
O'REILLY: It is.
COLBERT: I want to bring the message of love and peace to a younger audience. People in their 60s, people in their 50s, people who don't watch your show.
O'REILLY: OK, so people in the 50s and 60s, too young for "The Factor" are watching your show.
COLBERT: Right.
O'REILLY: Because we did a study of Jon Stewart's show.
COLBERT: Yes.
O'REILLY: And it was stoned slackers that were watching his show.
COLBERT: Absolutely. You have to be high to understand Jon Stewart. That guy is pinker than an Indian River grapefruit.
O'REILLY: How does Stewart handle the fact that you are now more famous and successful than he is?
COLBERT: I don't know. We don't talk.
O'REILLY: No?
COLBERT: We don't talk at all.
O'REILLY: Does that drive him to smoke more substance, now that you have overtaken him?
COLBERT: It might. It might. He was high most of the time I worked there. But I had to leave, Bill.
O'REILLY: Right.
COLBERT: I didn't want to do my own show. I loved "The Daily Show". I loved the people who work there. I had to get out for me.
O'REILLY: You -- you emulating me, you were outraged by the conduct of Stewart and his mignons, were you not?
COLBERT: Absolutely. Here's what I love about you, Bill. OK? You give. OK?
O'REILLY: I am a giver.
COLBERT: You give and give.
O'REILLY: Right.
COLBERT: I do my show half-hour -- this is why I could never even hope to be you. I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing calcium in my bones. Doctors say I should stop. I'm not going to. OK?
You go five nights a week, an hour.
O'REILLY: An hour.
COLBERT: Plus "The Radio Factor", Bill. What are you on? What gives you the strength? Jesus Christ or Pat Robertson's protein shakes?
O'REILLY: I'm motivated by the fact that you need material, that the more I'm on, the more successful you will be.
COLBERT: Could I just get a feed from your show into my ear?
O'REILLY: I don't know. We have some kind of buzz thing.
Now look, I just want to tell the audience that every left-wing critic in the country loves you. There are no right-wing critics.
COLBERT: I don't read them, Bill. I don't read them.
O'REILLY: But every left-wing critic loves you. Why? Is it because you're French? Is that why?
COLBERT: That must be it, Bill. I'm using that to pull the wool over their eyes. So they -- see, that's the sugar that puts my medicine into the system.
O'REILLY: You must be doing something. You must be doing something.
COLBERT: I'm doing you, Bill.
O'REILLY: They hate me. But they love you.
COLBERT: It's the New York Times, Bill.
O'REILLY: That's the difference?
COLBERT: They hate George Bush. Of course they're going hate you. They're haters, Bill.
O'REILLY: They are. They're scum. I have a sheet here that says you dislike and you are afraid of bears and owls. Is that true?
COLBERT: I am afraid of bears. I think owls are a waste of time.
O'REILLY: OK. You don't think about owls?
COLBERT: No, I don't.
O'REILLY: They're in the Jon Stewart category.
COLBERT: They are, absolutely.
O'REILLY: Right. You won't have anything to do with owls.
COLBERT: No.
O'REILLY: But you do fear bears?
COLBERT: I do fear bears.
O'REILLY: OK. The other thing is...
COLBERT: They're giant, marauding, godless killing machines.
O'REILLY: There's one right there.
COLBERT: Right there. That's not a real bear, right?
O'REILLY: No. That's the editor of the New York Times.
OK. Now, your middle name is Tyrone.
COLBERT: It is.
O'REILLY: How could that possibly happen?
COLBERT: Because I'm Irish, Bill. Have you ever been -- have you ever been...
O'REILLY: There isn't one Irish named Colbert.
COLBERT: Have you ever been -- have you ever been -- Colbert. Com (ph) Colbert of the east rebellion
O'REILLY: Now you're Colbert again.
COLBERT: I thought you had good researchers.
O'REILLY: Who are you? Are you Coal-bert or Colbert?
COLBERT: Bill, I'm whoever you want me to be. Coal-bert. I'm at the foot of the mat here.
O'REILLY: All right. I don't want you to be a French guy.
COLBERT: Make me a spaniel (ph). That's OK (ph), Bill.
O'REILLY: You want to be Irish you can be Irish. I don't want you being a French guy.
COLBERT: You know what? You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They -- they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.
O'REILLY: That's true.
COLBERT: Or how long you say it.
O'REILLY: As loud as I am. I'm giving you the last word. Is that a wise thing to do?
COLBERT: I'd give it to me.
O'REILLY: Yes. What is the last word?
COLBERT: I want to thank you for not asking me about that thing that we pre-agreed you wouldn't ask me about.
O'REILLY: OK. The kid -- the thing that happened.
COLBERT: Yes, that thing. OK?
O'REILLY: That's the kind of guy I am. A sensitive, kind guy. I'll be on your program tonight. Right? Watch it: 4:30 in the morning, that's when you guys are on?
COLBERT: Yes, that's Pacific Time. Looking forward to that.
O'REILLY: Stephen Colbert everybody.
COLBERT: Thank you, Bill.
O'REILLY: Owes his whole life to me, and I'm happy to give it up for him.
Videos courtesy of Crooks and Liars.
—Noel Sheppard is the Associate Editor of NewsBusters.
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
My favorite line was Jon Stew
January 19, 2007 - 12:44 ET by Tim GrahamMy favorite line was Jon Stewart is "pinker than an Indian River grapefruit."
I can't believe that O'Reilly didn't follow up on Colbert's apparent fear of bears as to how Colbert always calls him "Papa Bear." Did he mean to make a line out of that, but didn't get to it? The whole segment, as Donny would say to Marie, was cute. Real cute.
Mine too! That was hilariou
January 19, 2007 - 12:50 ET by sarcasmoMine too! That was hilarious (but for the record, Indian River grapefruit come in both pink and "white" -- which is really yellow).
JMR
Tim
January 19, 2007 - 12:57 ET by Noel SheppardTim,
I loved that line, too. Although I wondered how many people know where the Indian River is.
Didn't you agree that Colbert was much funnier on "The Factor?" ns
My sense of humor must be in
January 19, 2007 - 12:48 ET by Chris NormanMy sense of humor must be in the deep freeze or something. My reaction to this transcript was - uhhhhh - I guess you had to be there?
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
Chris
January 19, 2007 - 13:00 ET by Noel SheppardChris,
Watch the video. Colbert is actually quite funny. ns
Will do, realizing that somet
January 19, 2007 - 13:09 ET by Chris NormanWill do, realizing that sometimes words alone sometimes don't get the humor across...
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
"My sense of humor mus
January 19, 2007 - 13:08 ET by ckc1227"My sense of humor must be in the deep freeze or something. My reaction to this transcript was - uhhhhh - I guess you had to be there?"
I don't know, I watched both shows and came away quite disappointed. I didn't find either of them particularly funny. And I have a pretty liberal sense of humor.
Liberalism is the philosophy of the stupid.
ckc,I know. I like all kinds
January 19, 2007 - 13:20 ET by Chris Normanckc,
I know. I like all kinds of humor - slapstick, screwball, clever witticisms, sarcasm, parody, satire, low-brow, high-brow, you name it. Yet, I can't seem to find the humor that so many people, including some Conservatives, find on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. I thought maybe it's just me, but it's you, too...
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
I can't get into either of th
January 19, 2007 - 14:02 ET by UnsaneI can't get into either of them; but then, my humor is admittedly darker than most others.
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
So, you were the guy in the b
January 19, 2007 - 14:04 ET by Chris NormanSo, you were the guy in the back row laughing through Platoon.
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
More on dark humor
January 19, 2007 - 16:30 ET by UnsaneI am also the guy who brought a gathering of officers to a screeching halt in a discussion of sitcoms when I said, with a straight face, "My favorite sitcom right now has to be Law & Order." :-)
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
chung - chung...Sam Waterson'
January 19, 2007 - 16:34 ET by Chris Normanchung - chung...Sam Waterson's character is a bag of yucks.
The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
- Arabian Proverb
The most hilarious line I eve
January 20, 2007 - 02:39 ET by UnsaneThe most hilarious line I ever heard him utter on that show: "I think you lie as easily as I breathe." (For some reason whenever I heard the world "lie" on the show, it was my cue to laugh hysterically. But then, one of my favorite movie lines ever comes from Goldeneye, when the rogue agent tells James Bond "Trust. What a quaint idea.")
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
I thought that was a garden
January 19, 2007 - 17:02 ET by kcmt1I thought that was a gardening show... you know, "lawn order"?
Colbert seemed to be trying
January 19, 2007 - 12:59 ET by MightyMouthColbert seemed to be trying too hard. That may be his normal MO. I have never seen his show, and based upon this appearance, am not inclined to either.
"There are two types of people in this country; those who provide freedom and those who enjoy it." MM says...
Both appearances were great
January 19, 2007 - 13:00 ET by balboaBoth appearances were great. This is funny stuff. I think BOR deserves kudos for agreeing to this. He just moved up a tiny fraction in my book.
The 30% off sticker was funny. As was Colbert's line about owls not being worth his time.
colbert has some charm
January 19, 2007 - 13:09 ET by tumbler_2007I'd never seen him before; I don't receive Comedy Ch.
But he was quick and witty. Not really funny. He's basically antsy; like the seventh son of Jim Carey and Camille Paglia, if she were a Mom. Colbert's too verbose and anxious. Yeah, O'Reilly showed he has class, as well as the famous ego & toughness.
I liked it, too, Bal. I was a
January 19, 2007 - 13:11 ET by Roger the ShrubberI liked it, too, Bal. I was asleep before Colbert's show. How did that go?
It was funny, with Colbert
January 19, 2007 - 13:14 ET by balboaIt was funny, with Colbert continuing to say he was a mirror image of BOR. He had a little montage before the interview, showing them agreeing on certain topics, including Colbert saying the exact same words as BOR while berating a guest.
Both shows
January 19, 2007 - 19:10 ET by SanityClauseI saw both shows: I thought BOR looked a little nervous and uncomfortable, but then, of course, he was really being himself, meeting his parodist with "no net", while Colbert remained in character.
I also think Bill deserves a great deal of credit for having the courage to do this, knowing there are people and groups monitoring his every perceived misstep.
As straight man, Bill had to be more reserved. I liked the bits about the difference between imitation versus emulation and about pink grapefruit. On Colbert's show I laughed out loud about Bill's book having the discount sticker still on it and also liked the triple screen where Bill and Colbert asked the same questions of the woman in the middle.
Bill walked right into this o
January 19, 2007 - 13:26 ET by JseitlerBill walked right into this one in my opinion. You don't let Robin Williams interview president Bush, and you don't let Bill O'Reilly interview/be interviewed by Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. Maybe Bill thinks he's funnier than he is, but that's not his Forte; just like being serious for 3 seconds isn't Stewart's or Colbert's. Their job is not to educate their audience; moreover it's to desensitize them to political viewpoints and make all conservatives look as moronic and bass-ackwards as possible. Now I'll admit, I still get my share of chuckles from The Daily Show or the Colbert Report, but I'm tuned into their objective; I take it all with a salt's grain of salt. I'm not like their audience, who turns the T.V. off and falls peacefully to sleep thinking that they're better informed on the goings-on in our country and world because they watched Colby's "Better Know a District" segment. When I want the News, I watch Fox (and ABC, CBS, and MSNBC, lest I be labeled as a kool-aid drinker), and when I want comedy, I'll watch 5 minutes of TDS or TCR. I don't try and mix the two, and I don't think the networks should, either. I'm a fan of Bill's, but I don't think he did himself justice last night.
I think you're underestimat
January 19, 2007 - 13:41 ET by balboaI think you're underestimating the audience. I know you're smarter than they are, but they're not too shabby, either.
Bill was great. And I say that while admitting I can't stand the guy. He was funny.
the kid thing
January 19, 2007 - 13:28 ET by john ryanI was a little disappointed by them not discussing what O'reilly said about the abducted kid enjoying his new life with the pedophile
Please link us to your source
January 19, 2007 - 14:10 ET by Roger the ShrubberPlease link us to your source. I'd love to see it.
I was a little disappointed t
January 19, 2007 - 14:23 ET by Jack BauerI was a little disappointed that The View once again ignores the shocking coddling of child molesters in the liberal state of Vermont.
Though the Joy of Sux did find time to pretend to be concerned about what Bill O'Reilly said.
Proud member of the all-powerful and vast militarist/industrialist/capitalist/zionist-bagelist complex
Uhhh He Never Said That
January 19, 2007 - 14:27 ET by emjem24Speaking of fake news hosts, how about those pretending to watch Fox and talk about it like they know what was actually said, huh John Boy? I would be interested as most others as to your evidence. O'Reilly never said that but I'm sure you thought it. O'Reilly raised good questions about why everybody is now jumping onto the new psychological syndrome kick they're attributing to this kid as the reason he stayed with the sicko at all. Bill will ask the questions that the other wimps won't. I'd be curious as to whether you've taken a stand on anything besides being a useless liberal, troll, snert on Newsbusters. I can't see you even agreeing with the basic principle that there is no such thing as an impartial media anymore.
The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer. Air Force Motto
emjem says: When your brain's stuck on liberalism it self-destructs.
From O'Reilly's TV show (Jan
January 19, 2007 - 17:07 ET by jeffjohnmoFrom O'Reilly's TV show (Jan 15; talking with Greta Van Sustern). Transcript available from numerous different sources on the 'net.
O'REILLY: "The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than what he had under his old parents. He didn't have to go to school. He could run around and do whatever he wanted.
VAN SUSTEREN: Some kids like school.
O'REILLY: Well, I don't believe this kid did. And I think when it all comes down, what's going to happen is, there was an element here that this kid liked about his circumstances.
Since it's been reported that they've found kiddy porn on his abductor's computer, it's valid to think the the guy might be a pedophile. From these O'Reilly quotes it sure sounds like O'Reilly thinks the kid may have been enjoying his new life with the kidnapping pervert.
And, while they didn't specifically discuss what O'Reilly said about the abducted kid on either show, Colbert did get a shot in at O'Reilly for his speculations on the incident. When O'Reilly came out onto Colbert's stage and there were a couple of boos from the crowd, O'Reilly said it was Stewart up in the audience booing. Colbert said, "No, no. I have a restraining order against Jon Stewart. He's not allowed in the building. The man is a sexual predator. That's why I had to leave, Bill. You have no idea what that's like."
I find it amusing that not ev
January 19, 2007 - 19:10 ET by j. frank wilsonI find it amusing that not even Bull O'Really? listens to Bull O'Really?
First me makes a very stupid comment about that poor abducted child (who does he think he is, the Silly Savage?) and then the next day he denies saying it...
On BOR
January 20, 2007 - 21:24 ET by UnsaneNot even some conservatives listen to the Right leaning populist Bill O'Reilly.
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
Interview Was A Waste
January 19, 2007 - 14:21 ET by emjem24You know, guys, I really didn't find this interview funny. I'm an avid viewer of Bill's show and my husband watched the interview with me last night. I just didn't find it very funny. How do you conduct an interview with someone who's paid to be a fake news host? I found it all inconsequential. Where were all the hard questions from Bill about this guy? I have big questions (and problems) about Comedy Central and guys like this and Jon Stewart (a former MTV veejay no less) and where they stand politically. Jon Stewart is a committed leftie and I don't think that Colbert will let me down in this regard. They're part of the problem, not part of the solution and really, they're not that funny. It's pretty sad what passes for news these days and fake news on a cable network that gets the attention of 18-30 year olds is scary. What's the next, new hot trend...fake flu shots? In the words of Simon Cowell, "utterly ridiculous."
The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer. Air Force Motto
emjem says: When your brain's stuck on liberalism it self-destructs.
If you're looking for a har
January 19, 2007 - 14:24 ET by balboaIf you're looking for a hard-hitting interview with someone from Comedy Central...Stephen Colbert is not the way to go. You have someone from the network, an Executive Producer. BOR did this because he knew it would be light and fun, and more importantly, attention-getting.
Props
January 19, 2007 - 14:28 ET by iveseenitallColbert used so many props, he reminded me of Ross Perot trying desperately to convince the nation about a poor economy which wasn't.
NEVER,NEVER trust a liberal
Props?
January 19, 2007 - 14:31 ET by balboaProps?
A prop. Something to support
January 19, 2007 - 14:35 ET by iveseenitallA prop. Something to support your point of view. (e.g. 30% 0ff).
NEVER,NEVER trust a liberal
So, and not to be picky here,
January 19, 2007 - 14:51 ET by balboaSo, and not to be picky here, but that's one prop.
Not
January 19, 2007 - 17:01 ET by iveseenitallNot to be picky here, but what are those pictures of O'Reilly Colbert used? ( e.g. = For example )
NEVER,NEVER trust a liberal
O'Reilly used props too. He h
January 19, 2007 - 18:52 ET by jeffjohnmoO'Reilly used props too. He had the bear picture and, while talking about how the left-wing critics love Colbert, he held up a piece of paper that I'm guessing had critics reviews as proof of his statement. So O'Reilly reminds you of Perot too?
Here's what I found funny:
January 19, 2007 - 17:08 ET by kcmt1Here's what I found funny: That Bill O'Reilly was willing to poke fun at himself. Think of it as kind of a "Mark Twain" moment for Bill. And remember, a real friend isn't just someone you can tell your troubles to; you can do that with a complete stranger. A real friend is someone you can laugh with.
I think Jon Stewart is funn
January 19, 2007 - 16:25 ET by MyKindaSpamI think Jon Stewart is funny and Steven Colbert is funny everywhere but The Colbert Report. These two interviews just weren't funny. I give BOR props for being secure enough to confront a man who makes a good living ridiculing him, but both segments were mostly dull with a few funny lines here and there. The owl line was funny and there were a few on Colbert's show. Overall they both were yawners and a waste of good sleep time.
...
January 19, 2007 - 18:48 ET by Jnoblesomeone made a great point on the other thread about this. Liberals like Stewart and Colbert make everything that happens into a big sarcastic cynical joke until someone fires a joke at them. Then it's not funny anymore and the offender should be shut up and ripped into personally. Bunch of babies.
Well, the basis of your post
January 19, 2007 - 19:27 ET by balboaWell, the basis of your post is kinda lost when you consider that he and O'Reilly exchanged jabs when appearing on each other's shows.
Liberals like Stewart and Colbert make everything that happens into a big sarcastic cynical joke
That's kinda the point of their shows, thus, again, the reason for the show being on Comedy Central.
While Mr. Colbert was certain
January 19, 2007 - 19:11 ET by j. frank wilsonWhile Mr. Colbert was certainly funny, he was a whole lot funnier at last years WHC's dinner. Now that was a funny bit!
A comedian who over-schti
January 19, 2007 - 20:34 ET by Conrad5A comedian who over-schtickes is as annoying as an actor who
over-acts. Colbert forces his jokes more
than Rex Grossman forces his passes.
Send him to Da Bears!
jfw...Colbair or Colburt, how
January 20, 2007 - 17:47 ET by bigtimerjfw...
Colbair or Colburt, howerever you choose to pronounce it, wasn't funny in the least at the WH dinner he bombed.
"If we ever forget that we are a Nation Under God....then we will be a Nation Gone Under." Ronald Reagan
I got a huge kick out of both
January 20, 2007 - 17:25 ET by daveinbocaI got a huge kick out of both shows, as my wife did of the O'Reilly segment even though she is a lib in some respects. B O"Reilly doesn't have a comedy gene like Colbert's, but I did appreciate their both touting their Irish heritage, and my favorite line is Colbert's "I can go toe to toe with you at the potato table."
Colbert's public persona as displayed at the White House Roast is a bit of a confection, as he teaches Catholic Sunday School and comes from a family of eleven. A cafeteria Catholic?
Friday night Jon Stewart introduced Robin Wright Penn as "married to a Communist," so both sides trade jabs and spar all the time.
But O'Reilly should stick to his day-job, which is high-school headmaster to the nation.