SFChron Columnist Spews Vicious Attack on Laura Bush

Laura Bush, docile doormat: Behold, the ideal Republican wife: Prim, sexless, nearly useless, lets the men do the real thinkin'. Hot!

Yes, that was the headline and subhead for Mark Moford's column in the San Francisco Chronicle today. Not only does the very title of this screed of ignominious proportions rip into the first lady for no worthy reason, Moford also says that being a Catholic woman is "unfortunate." Shamefully, he also calls the Bush daughters their "twin Styrofoam peanut daughters," so it isn't just Laura Bush he unduly attacks. It's been a long time since a major newspaper has published a so-called editorial with this much vitriol contained within.

Moford tries to explain why conservative women find themselves raising an eyebrow at loudmouthed women like Teresa Heinz Kerry and Hillary Clinton (when she was first lady) but he completely mischaracterizes why people react to them the way they do as mere distaste of their gauche personalities as opposed to opposition to their ideologies and a feeling that such women overstep their boundaries.

Moford starts his column off recounting how a "conservative Catholic" female friend of his had expressed to him her hatred of Teresa Heinz Kerry. I have to say, I can't imagine why this woman is a friend of Moford's at all considering the way he describes her as having an "unfortunate choice of religious and political affiliation." It makes me wonder if he took the character he describes from someone else's life? Moford so obviously despises conservative Catholics that it is hard to believe that he suffers any to be in his life.

Anyway, here's the simplistic way that Moford describes why conservative women don't like people like Kerry and Clinton:

And my friend hated her. And why? Well, ironically enough, for most of the reasons I list above. Apparently, Heinz had too much personality. She was too strong, too in your face, too fearless and outspoken, something was "just not right about that woman." All this, of course, made Heinz into "a total bitch."

(And yes, this completely echoes the right's hatred of Hillary Clinton during the Bill Clinton years and up through today, because she dared to be the opposite of meek and quiet, dared to try and actually do something progressive and radical as first lady. Yes, she botched it badly, overshot her abilities and overestimated her powers to revolutionize health care. But the real problem was how badly she underestimated the violent, inbred misogyny and anti-feminism of the old-boys network in Washington).

Guess it doesn't have anything to do with their ideology, huh? After all, why the heck WOULDN'T a "conservative Catholic" woman like liberal women that advocate for gay marriage and unlimited abortion, eh? Nah, we couldn't imagine that a "conservative Catholic" woman would find herself standing against a Heinz Kerry or a Hillary Clinton, would we? It's just so hard to understand it all... at least for Mark Moford.

Then, after totally misunderstanding why conservative women might not appreciate leftists, and after obsequiously slobbering over how he so loves strong, liberal women, Moford attacks the first lady and the Bush daughters like a pit bull with a mailman in his sight. He goes on a rampage of name-calling and hate that should send your head spinning.

Here is a list of the name calling as the acid just drips from his pen:

  • You mean docile, prudish, former librarian Laura Bush, she of the nonexistent inspiration and dull-as-dishwater personality?
  • Laura Bush out on tour recently with her twin Styrofoam peanut daughters...
  • There is Laura, looking exactly as she has looked for the past eight insufferable years. Prim, a bit glassy, reserved, her hair some sort of ironclad helmet of awkward architecture, the very epitome of nice, meek, domestic Republican female, not making the slightest wave and hoping no one really notices because, well, she's just a woman.
  • Laura has indeed taken on that wild 'n' wooly issue, fought valiantly to ensure lots of white children have enough access to "James and the Giant Peach." It's a hugely divisive, hot-button topic that's tearing the nation apart and really needs someone of her position and influence to step in and ... Oh, never mind.
  • And besides, meek, shy girls who want nothing more than to marry the male equivalent of a tub of spackling paste at age 22 and never think for themselves and never inspire anyone to do anything need role models, too. Right?
  • For in choosing to be and do almost nothing at all for all these years, Laura has also come to epitomize the compliant, unobtrusive woman
  • They call her "classy." What they mean is: She knows her place, keeps her mouth shut, possesses exactly zero sexuality, speaks only when spoken to, lets the men do the "real" work, stays so far off in the background she might as well be wallpaper.
  • I think Laura Bush has been bad for America.

So why has Moford gotten his panties in a bunch? He thinks that Laura Bush wasted her eight years in office and didn't do anything to "make any real difference. A single issue. A single notable appearance. A single daring, interesting, engaging ... anything."

To which I ask of this fellow one thing: Who elected her to "do" anything?

To which I'll answer for him so he won't have to check in with some strong liberal woman to help him out: No one elected her to anything and she is not necessarily SUPPOSED to "do" anything with her eight years in the White House.

Maybe one of those "weird, prickly, unpredictable" women that Moford loves so much can drop him an email to let him know that the American people do not elect a first lady to "do" anything while her husband is president. In fact, conservatives most often think that there is enough "things" getting "done" in Washington in the first place and that we don't need unelected people to add to the din. And this is why conservative women hate loudmouths like Heinz Kerry. No one was voting for Kerry and her opinions that we were so constantly exposed to. Her droning on and on mattered not a whit to the country. SHE wasn't up for election. Her weakling, Frenchified hubby was the one we were supposed to be evaluating for the White House. What Teresa thought was immaterial. It is also why conservatives didn't want to hear from Hillary Clinton when hubby Bill was giving his personal intern lessons in the White House. Despite their claim that we "elected" them both, we didn't. We elected Bill and Bill alone.

This mass of hate from Moford is shameful work, indeed, and there is little else that can be said of it.

(h/t Michelle Malkin)