WashPost Lists What the GOP Contenders Should Give Up for Lent

Washington Post so-called humorist Alexandra Petri just can't stick to humor. The political agitation is never subordinated to jokes.  On Fat Tuesday, she wrote a snarky blog about what the presidential candidates should give up for Lent: “Rick Santorum should give up: talking....Mitt Romney should give up: spending money....Ron Paul should resolve to say only nice things about the Federal Reserve....For Lent, Newt Gingrich should give up.”

So what about Obama? Would he need to give up class warfare? Would he need to go to church for a change? No. Petri can only focus on the alleged positives:

For Lent, President Obama should give up: creating jobs, just to make things fair for everyone. Then again, he doesn’t seem to be doing this on purpose, so maybe he should give up something else, like singing Al Green to donors or reminding us about that time he got Osama bin Laden. That would be a real challenge.

Yes, somehow, Obama is a job-creating machine. (Stop, stop, Alexandra! This really is hilarious.) Petri has a special loathing for Rick Santorum, since she thinks the best thing he could do for himself is shut up.

He’s surging in the polls. He’s very nearly the front-runner.

But then they started to pay attention to what he was saying.

In the course of the past few days, he's managed to come within inches of comparing President Obama to Hitler, suggest an end to federal and state involvement in the school system, criticize prenatal testing and the presence of women on the front lines of combat, impugn the president for “phony theology,” and generally endear himself to everyone.

Also he seems to think Satan is coming? Or something?

My point is, he is not making this easier for himself.

To make fun of Romney, she went back to...making fun of Santorum, and Catholics:

I realize that Mormons don't observe Lent — they can, for fun. Anyone who wants to can observe Lent for fun! True, observing Lent for fun is like having a colonoscopy for fun, but less so. If your idea of fun is observing Lent, you’re probably Rick Santorum. But to each his own.

Naturally for a secular liberal (or a D.C. Episcopalian), Petri thinks there's been too much creepy religion in this campaign: "Given the loud ballyhooing of everyone’s spiritual sides this time around — walk into the middle of a debate at the wrong moment, and you’d be excused for thinking it was a particularly staid, tentless revival meeting — maybe the candidates can turn Lent to their advantage."