These December 31 stories are just too giggle-inducing to take seriously, but reporters are somehow avoiding the giggles (CNN stayed sober reporting both of these in its 10 am hour): From Oregon: "An 80-year old woman grabbed a naked man named Michael Dick by the crotch and gave him a good squeeze; police nabbed him a few minutes later." From New York: "Clintons Leading Times Square New Year's Eve Ball Drop."All this humor can't help but remind me of Brent Baker's special 2,000th Cyber Alert, with oddities like this famous John McLaughlin line, delivered without laughter: "When we come back, is William Clinton a lame duck or a fighting cock?" Baker also dredged up stories of naked Geraldo, Carville's jokes about his manhood, and Matt Lauer's tale of lion genitalia. That's enough of the oddball stuff for today.