The Denver Post's attempts to dish on celebrities at the Democratic convention included this typical slice of Dan Rather, critic of spineless media:

Dan Rather got a standing ovation in the Big Tent's DIGG stage on Tuesday after castigating the current structure of the media and the resulting weak news coverage.

"Much of the press is rolling over and playing dead," the former CBS newsman said. "The American media is in need of a spine transplant." As he often did on the air at CBS, Rather welled with tears when speaking of American casualties in the war in Iraq.

They also found Ted Koppel, and compared his hair to dessert:

The experts — Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu, Rice University history professor and talking head Douglas Brinkley and others — sat around the table on the top floor of the downtown Denver library talking about Hurricane Katrina. Ted Koppel, his hair in full meringue, led the back-and-forth. Ethel Kennedy and Kerry Kennedy occupied chairs against a wall, listening closely, nodding.

And splayed across a chair in the back of the room, with artfully disheveled hair and a Joker goatee, a trim dark suit and holding a pair of black reading glasses: Sean Penn. Given the scholarly setting and the slouch, a reporter wanted to shout: "Spicoli! Dude!"