The audacity of hope has transformed into the audacity of trash talk. Huffington Post blogger Seth Grahame-Smith says there's no way Barack Obama can lose, and no scandal could stop him:
It's over.
It's mathematically impossible for John McCain to win.
Were the great Tim Russert still with us, he would call the election for Obama at 7pm Eastern time. No, I'm not talking about November 4th -- I mean tonight.
...I don't care if footage of Obama snorting coke off Scarlett Johansson's boobs surfaces in late October. All it will do is bolster his standing with white males. I don't care if McCain is introduced by a resurrected Jesus Christ at the convention. All it will do is piss off Joe Lieberman.
McCain won't just be defeated, he'll be crushed. And not just Bob Dole crushed, but crushed in a way that redefines the political map for the next 25 years.
He'll be crushed so decidedly, that bartenders will coin a new drink called "The McCrush" -- vodka and Orange Crush over crushed ice, served in a hollow flip-flop with a sprig of pandering. The networks will switch over to infomercials at 10pm on Election Night, because they'll have nothing left to cover after Obama's victory speech. Webster's will add the word "McCained" to its thesaurus entry for "crushed." Gamers will start taunting each other with new words like "Obampwnd!" and "McNoob!." Somewhere, out there in the everlasting ether of death, Barry Goldwater will feel better about himself.
If you've never heard of Grahame-Smith, he is the author of The Big Book of Porn: A Penetrating Look at the World of Dirty Movies.
(Hat tip: Jack Coleman)
—Tim Graham is Director of Media Analysis at the Media Research Center
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
Obama is an EVIL Marxist
July 2, 2008 - 11:34 ET by Chasvsif the MSM wasn't so in love with this half-wit SOB they'd inform the american people that Barak Obama is nothing more than a marxist!
We don't need this SOB ruining our Country!
STOP him NOW!
You are right ...
July 2, 2008 - 12:05 ET by savvyconsumer7Alan Keyes has concluded the same about Obama, that he is evil (letting babies born alive be left to die with the dirty linens) and a Marxist politically.
This is not hyperbole ... these terms describe Obama in all sincerity.
___________________________________________________
Support Alan Keyes for President 2008, Independent Candidate www.alankeyes.com
America's Independent Party National Committee ... a new political party that is a home for all true patriots ... and the largest 3rd party (based on voter registration) in the nation. www.SelfGovernment.US or www.aipnc.com
Savvy, Love Alan Keyes,
July 2, 2008 - 16:40 ET by lotrSavvy,
Love Alan Keyes, but you best pull that lever for McCain.
Else this blithering porn-scholar idiot predicting "it's all over" turns out to not be such an idiot after all.
That's bullshit. Key is a
July 2, 2008 - 23:06 ET by hookrightThat's bs. Key is a bloviating jerk. This muther&** seems to be living out his fantasies and likely masturbating over his work. Who is this jerk?
<edit: hk please watch language above>
Potty mouth!
July 2, 2008 - 23:12 ET by Free StinkerPotty mouth!
Free, I think hooky is going to get the same PM from Matthew...
July 2, 2008 - 23:20 ET by R D Helm...that I got back in the old days when I once spelled out BS. :-)
The truth is insensitive. - Neal Boortz
R D
July 2, 2008 - 23:29 ET by Free StinkerI think hooky is a reincarnation of "Father" Baracus . . .
Free,
July 2, 2008 - 23:43 ET by R D HelmLOL-I think you just outed this clown.
-Check his bio and look at his posts. :-)
The truth is insensitive. - Neal Boortz
R D
July 2, 2008 - 23:47 ET by Free StinkerBaracus always did go right to the blue material . . .
How is that blue? Keyes
July 2, 2008 - 23:52 ET by hookrightHow is that blue? Keyes likes to hear himself talk. The porno-philosopher is fantasizing about snorting blow off some woman's breasts...I mean, once down this road, is it too far to to think he is climaxing to the logical conclusion? Screw you
That's all you got?
July 2, 2008 - 23:54 ET by Free StinkerThat's all you got?
It's was your freaking
July 2, 2008 - 23:59 ET by hookrightIt's was your freaking proposition
It's was your freaking
July 3, 2008 - 00:04 ET by Free StinkerIt's was your freaking proposition
It's - contraction of "It is" thus . . .
Is is was your freaking proposition
Weak. Really, really weak.
hooky, you aren't making many friends here tonight.
July 3, 2008 - 01:44 ET by R D HelmAnd saying "screw you" to Free isn't winning you many points, either, as most of us here have a really high level of respect for him.
Perhaps you should log off, blow off a little steam, and return once you have re-learned the manners that most of us here were instilled with from a very early age.
Just a friendly suggestion.
For now, anyway. :-)
The truth is insensitive. - Neal Boortz
scratches head
July 3, 2008 - 09:44 ET by candanceUm hook, you do realize that Keyes has nothing to do with this article about Obama....right?
And yeah, I gotta go with the others - saying such an expression to Free won't win you any allies.
Its been said that
July 2, 2008 - 23:19 ET by NL207Its been said that ignorance is bliss. If that's true, then you are a deliriously happy man.
It's "Keyes" as in Alan Keyes. He is a conservative economist. He is an intellectual, not a political pragmatist. There is more intelligence in his left pinkie than your body.
NL... You got that
July 2, 2008 - 23:25 ET by bigtimerNL...
You got that right...I couldn't of said it better myself.
I'm also writing his name in if he isn't on the ticket here...as I have stated before in other posts.
Just throwing in my two cents.
"America isn't the problem...America is the solution." ~ Rush Limbaugh
I can agree with 99% of
July 2, 2008 - 23:58 ET by hookrightI can agree with 99% of what he says and writes. Regardless, the man likes to hear himself talk. He had a chance of winning the race against Hussein Obama and instead blew it, because he could not shut up. Conservatives come in all flavors, some are good, some are bloviating jerks. Keyes is the latter. Don't be so defensive
Hook... It is nice you
July 3, 2008 - 01:26 ET by bigtimerHook...
It is nice you agree with 99% of what Keyes says...
...so who are you going to vote for that you also agree with 99% of the time that doesn't talk so much...eh?
"America isn't the problem...America is the solution." ~ Rush Limbaugh
they just LOVE that
July 2, 2008 - 13:55 ET by TruthMongerthey just LOVE that "maverick" McCain don't they:)?
and here we thought all his RINO pandering to the MSM was just a waste of time...
So why not hold the coronation now...
July 2, 2008 - 11:37 ET by Prester John...and save everybody the expense and trouble of having an election?
And while we're at it we can just name BHO President-for-life and abolish Congress since the Messiah knows best.
pitchforks and angry mobs -
July 2, 2008 - 13:56 ET by TruthMongerpitchforks and angry mobs - standing by
torches?
July 2, 2008 - 14:16 ET by UndercoverConservativecan we have torches too?
"to call an illegal immigrant an "undocumented alien" is the same as calling a streetcorner drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist".
No torches
July 2, 2008 - 14:20 ET by Cool ArrowBiodegradeable Cyalume light sticks will be provided.
Oh, sorry, I thought we were talking about the Dem Natl. Convention.
Sh*t, now what do with all this tofu patee?
LYDSEXICS UNTIE
Does the Constitution
July 2, 2008 - 11:45 ET by GothampcDoes the Constitution provide any guidance for deporting citizens of gross stupidity? Can't we ship them to Cuba?
all of our left wingers are
July 2, 2008 - 13:58 ET by TruthMongerall of our left wingers are proof of the right to be an idiot
Wrote that article...
July 2, 2008 - 11:50 ET by AgentAmerican...right after a big cocaine hit himself...
These people are coming unglued because more and more is known about Osamba every day. They've completely delusional, and this proves it.
Cocaine is evil.
Drill ANWAR
Not only that, but why
July 2, 2008 - 13:15 ET by motherbeltNot only that, but why isn't anyone hollering about anti-Semitism when he includes a crack like this one (emphasis added):
I don't care if McCain is introduced by a resurrected Jesus Christ at the convention. All it will do is piss off Joe Lieberman.
Why do liberals get away with this crap when a conservative would get sent off to sensitivity training?
Shoot 'em all; let God sort 'em out! - Marge Simpson
Sad
July 2, 2008 - 11:52 ET by Copperhead RidgeThe guy is probably right at the rate the GOP is going.
It wouldn't surprise me if video surfaced of Barak sniffing cocaine. It might shock me if he was sniffing it from boobs -- any pair.
It wouldn't
July 2, 2008 - 11:54 ET by bigpapasurprise me if he was sniffing it off of a pair of something else,,, you know much lower..
→ Coke and oysters?
July 2, 2008 - 11:57 ET by Cool ArrowDoes that mean he inherited Hillary's lockbox?
LYDSEXICS UNTIE
I hope people read this and
July 2, 2008 - 12:01 ET by Dan The Man 2I hope people read this and say "Hey its a lock and I don't even have to vote". Sadly I feel that McCain might not be up to fighting th fight as its required to win. Nothing dirty just the facts, Obama's own words in ontext would do.
Nuke em til they glow then shoot em in the dark.
Jealousy
July 2, 2008 - 12:04 ET by dmntd1He's got enough issues with jealousy among liberal, white guilt espousing males that if he got that close to Scarlett's boobs.....
I wonder how many of the people being polled are giving lip service to B.O. Like B.O., they're saying the right things, knowing they're going to vote against him.
Those moonbats in my family accept this man as their savior, all the while wishing Kucinich was still in the race, as B.O. isn't nearly liberal enough for them. Makes me almost physically ill....
Fascism is a religious conception in which man is seen in his imminent relationship with a superior law and with an objective will that transcends the particular individual - Mussolini
Golly gee whizzz...How did
July 2, 2008 - 12:04 ET by bassndudeGolly gee whizzz...How did this moron get anything posted? Delusional.. The only diffrence between Obama and Osama is just the BS.
Save a SeAL, club a liberal!!
Gee, liberals love perverts
July 2, 2008 - 12:05 ET by cocodrieGee, liberals love perverts and hate Jesus Christ.
boobs?
July 2, 2008 - 12:08 ET by xyzzypoofsyou mean Nancy Pelosi and Dick Durbin?
you bet
July 2, 2008 - 12:09 ET by Zab"Not even God could sink her."
:)!
July 2, 2008 - 13:59 ET by TruthMonger:)!
"Wha' Happened Wednesday"
July 2, 2008 - 15:50 ET by Hero SquadWe need to put a pin in this article for the post-election recap. I have a sneaking suspicion it'll be pulled from the site and denied it ever existed on the morning of November 5.
*****
"People only insist that a debate stop when they are afraid of what might be learned if it continues." - George Will
Food for thought
July 2, 2008 - 12:17 ET by AndersonSadly I think this Seth Grahame-Smith fellow has hit the nail on the head. If somebody offered to trade me a two-piece chicken dinner special at KFC for my Republican voter ID card, I would probably take it because that’s more than it’s going to be worth this November.
You are kidding "my
July 2, 2008 - 12:28 ET by Dan The Man 2You are kidding "my Republican voter ID card" about having one, right? Did you buy it at Wal-Mart or something? You have not come across as a Republican in anything you have posted so far. Perhaps you got it in a similar way people get drunk and have tattoos and in the morning regret what they have done.
Nuke em til they glow then shoot em in the dark.
Anderson, I wonder why that
July 2, 2008 - 13:01 ET by bassndudeAnderson, I wonder why that suprises nobody here? I would suggest you check your voter ID card. If it sayes Republican, I am know its not yours.
Save a SeAL, club a liberal!!
buzz! try again
July 2, 2008 - 15:56 ET by candanceMan the hits just keep coming with the libs here lately.
Republican ID card? Did you get that off a happy meal box?
Where's balboa...I need to find an intelligent lib who knows how to tease us at least with a cohesive joke.
The poisoned mind of a
July 2, 2008 - 12:23 ET by mattmThe poisoned mind of a diseased lefty.
Same Old Same Old - With A Twist
July 2, 2008 - 12:26 ET by rammingspeedIn July '04 John Kerry was farther ahead of George Bush, an incumbent president, than Obama is ahead of McCain. In fact, by all reasonable estimates, the race is a statistical dead heat, with Obama not getting the bounce he expected after Hillary "conceded" to him.
Esteemed liberal pundit Bob Beckel said on Fox News, "It's over. Bush is toast."
Democrats were dreaming of who Kerry would have on his cabinet.
These were professional pols, and they were spectacularly wrong.
So, now comes some lefty doofus a**clown talking like he's on crack and methamphetamine combined (odds are good he was loaded on something like that) who writes the most childish garbage yet about the campaign. And with the New York Times and Keith Olbermann and all the rest, that's saying a lot.
The Dems have their Prom Date
July 2, 2008 - 22:34 ET by pbthinkerOnce again the Democrats are all form, and no substance, when it comes to their candidate. In 2000, they assumed the American public saw the Clinton impeachment, the way they did, and they would elect his vice-president, didn't happen. Then, after Bush "stole" the election, they came to Florida and predicted their candidate would slaughter Governor Bush, didn't happen. Then came 2004, which you just alluded to, same thing.
They don't seem to have a good take on why things happen and how people view them. They figured that the 2006 election was about people voting FOR them, but I believe it was more people voting against the Republicans. If I'm correct (and I could be wrong since I'm about as good as the Democrats in figuring out how these things work) they could be questioning that vote very seriously and be ready to give the Republicans another chance. Let's face it, with gasoline over $4.00 per gallon, how much longer can we afford to keep the Democrats in Congress?
Democrats: Stuck on Stupid since 2000.
Calls for McCain to drop out will be next
July 2, 2008 - 12:26 ET by krendlerCalls for McCain to drop out in the name of American Unity will be next. Similar to what the Obamatons and the media were screaming at Hillary back in May.
Save this article to send back to Seth "Porn" Smith when the 1/2 term senator from IL (aka, The Messiah) gets stomped in Nov.
BO
July 2, 2008 - 12:50 ET by charlietexasObama can do no wrong. Snotin coke, gettin low rate on a home loan, havin shady friends, haten America, killin babies. All he has to do now is have an affair with an intern and ALL the liberals will love him. PLEASE OBAMA have an affair.....so all the liberals will love you. Your so great.......Oberman will really love you if you do that one little thang.
mom
NoBama, Mama
July 2, 2008 - 14:17 ET by NoMoreClintonsThe Obamabots are in for a rude awakening on the evening of Nov 4th. If you haven't seen it already, check out this AOL poll:
http://news.aol.com/...
Is over 200,00 people enough of a sample for you, rather than 800 or 1200 conducted by left wing media or left wing Zogby? No Bradley Effect here. Methinks Osama will be stomped and stomped good come Election Day. So all you naysayers need to take a deep breath and get behind McCain so we can do away with this menace called Obama once and for all.
That's pretty cool.
July 2, 2008 - 15:54 ET by Hero SquadThat's pretty cool. However, I must point out that the poll has McCain leading in D.C. Somehow, I don't see that coming true.
*****
"People only insist that a debate stop when they are afraid of what might be learned if it continues." - George Will
Couldn't agree more...
July 2, 2008 - 21:17 ET by CapedConservativeI've said it before... I'll say it again. Senator Obama will lose 50 of 50. Republicans won't vote for him.... independents won't vote for him (see McGovern for response to someone LESS liberal than Senator Obama)... and, the dirty little secret... a VERY LARGE portion of the "regular guy" Democrats are racist and won't vote for him. These cute little polls are far from reality.... just mental masturbation.
CapedConservative
CapedConservative
July 2, 2008 - 21:29 ET by Clear thinkerAmen!
You and I may be the only two people that think the racist vote of the Dems will be the deciding factor putting McCain in the WH.
45 Communist Goals for America http://www.nationmakers.com/com_goals.htm
→ Mabe, Clear
July 2, 2008 - 21:39 ET by Cool ArrowMaybe, but it's time for the Dem party to put up or shut up with their race baiting.
I think they know it.
LYDSEXICS UNTIE
Grahame-Smith better be
July 2, 2008 - 22:52 ET by bigtimerGrahame-Smith better be prepared for a Sloe Screw of Obama...
"America isn't the problem...America is the solution." ~ Rush Limbaugh