Major National Public Radio moneybags Garrison Keillor is up to his usual rhetorical tricks over at Salon, putting on the sardonic tone like a pair of his red sneakers about George Bush's waste, fraud, and abuse in Iraq:
I suppose that $8 billion is not so much considering that the war will cost $200 billion this year alone, and yet one is curious to know why the G-men can't find out where it went, at a time when the Current Occupant is so very concerned about keeping medical benefits away from undeserving children. Hundreds of millions paid to the gunslingers of Blackwater, but an American family with a seriously ill child has to tap-dance backward through a gantlet of government forms to prove they really, really, really are desperate.
As the old adage says, the little thieves get hung and the big thieves get richer and richer. When it comes to larceny, it pays to be ambitious.
With all those millions Keillor has made selling cornpone knick-knacks from the Minnesota Public Radio's "Wireless" catalog business, perhaps he could insure a few kiddies. But then, read on: you'll notice Keillor actually hates children:
Don't get me wrong. Marriage is a good thing. But as for the sanctity of it, you shouldn't look too closely. Every marriage has its profane moments, especially when children get mixed up in it, which so often happens.
There is yelling and weeping involved and door slamming and a great deal of bad poetry ("My life is a vortex of darkness because/ You never loved me,/ No, I was only/ An object of your wrath,/ Bad daddy") and all due to the horrors of parenting.
The childless couples I know seem smooth and easy together, working their old comedy routines, and the fruitful couples seem distracted as if expecting a phone call from the county jail. Childless couples don't go through this. They don't have to yell upstairs and say, "If I don't see you doing your homework in five minutes, I am going to yell and shriek and do such irrational things that they will put me into residential treatment and you will have to fix your own meals and do your own laundry."
The child has created a shrine to herself on Facebook and has a list of a thousand friends but not much is actually taking place underneath that hairdo. Just like with the Current Occupant, who represents them very well. He is a relaxed, easygoing, self-accepting guy whose old retainers love him for his self-effacing modesty, a wonderful trait, but when you are incompetent, it is not so wonderful as, say, a little more intelligence might be. He is heading for the short bus of history where Earl Butz and Spiro Agnew ride. Where are his parents? Why don't they yell at him?
—Tim Graham is Director of Media Analysis at the Media Research Center.




















Editor at Large
Comments Policy
Wow, Garrison, hate kids much?
October 27, 2007 - 17:24 ET by RJBut his little paen to the selfish joys of not having children is the standard mantra of many liberal elites.
All about the chilruns'
October 27, 2007 - 17:44 ET by acumenAs a parent I always breathlessly await that next issue of Salon to arrive to tell me how bad my children are. Much like waiting for that next NRA magazine to find out the latest trends in women's hair designs.
If only Garrison's parents had felt the same way about not having children as Garrison...sigh.
acumen... If only Garris
October 27, 2007 - 17:48 ET by bigtimeracumen...
If only Garrison's parents had felt the same way about not having children as Garrison...sigh
....I Double that sigh....
Distracted BT
October 27, 2007 - 18:01 ET by acumenI'm just glad T-shirt/bikini girl's parents didn't feel that way. Sorry BT, I keep getting distracted with that add for some strange reason. And before you jump all over me, I'll bring up all the girl talk about W in a flightsuit if pushed. :)
BTW - Send me an email with an update about you know what when you get a chance. I've been thinking no news is good news.
acumen... Will email
October 27, 2007 - 18:16 ET by bigtimeracumen...
Will email ya.
By the way, those gals are gorgeous, DaveR was expressing the same sentiments you are last night....
I asked him if he agreed with the messages on their shirts?
ROFL....
The beautiful brunette has on hers...'I'm a Product of Roe v Wade'....they are great ads.
They have messages?
October 27, 2007 - 18:18 ET by RJReally? :^)
RJ.... Now I'm really
October 27, 2007 - 18:31 ET by bigtimerRJ....
Now I'm really ROFLMAO!
That reminds me of the time
October 27, 2007 - 19:35 ET by motherbeltThat reminds me of the time I commented to my husband about Giada de Laurentis on the Food Network....everything she wears shows mucho cleavage. I said, You know, a real chef would never wear anything like that while cooking.
He looked at me in surprise and said, "She COOKS?"
Informercial
October 28, 2007 - 10:26 ET by nkviking75How about the girls on that informercial for getting rich quick with websites? You know the one: Two girls sitting on couches with very low cut tops, both leaning forward and being shot by the cameras from slightly above to accentuate the cleavage? Subtle, it ain't.
When you put the clowns in charge, don't be surprised when a circus breaks out.
I wonder how his own kids
October 27, 2007 - 19:06 ET by motherbeltI wonder how his own kids feel, thinking that he probably wishes he had remained childless.
He knows better
October 28, 2007 - 16:11 ET by celatorGarrison knows better than this. For whatever reason, he choses to spin the propaganda the left feeds him as though it was the truth. The folks back in Lake Wobegon would smack him silly and knock that nonsense out of him if he went back there and talked like this.
Was talking with some
October 27, 2007 - 17:26 ET by Gary P JacksonWas talking with some friends, and we all came to the same conclusion: It must be miserable to be a liberal. So much hate, so little time.
Garrison Keillor: Problem Child
October 27, 2007 - 17:37 ET by BarkerBoy, Keillor must have had a rough childhood. He needs to get in touch with his inner-brat and resolve some serious issues.
I love it when liberals try to be sophisticated
October 27, 2007 - 17:40 ET by WanderlustEspecially when they try soooo hard.
Keillor and his ilk need to learn just how popular they would be, if they had to support themselves instead of whoring after the public purse.
Perhaps he might experience the woes of having to earn an honest living?
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the
end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
I never realized that
October 27, 2007 - 18:27 ET by Roger the ShrubberI never realized that reading Keillor was more boring that listening to him...
Roger, Kellior used to be very funny
October 27, 2007 - 18:50 ET by RJbut that was before he went all self-righteous and began haranguing everyone with his political ideology.
He and the other leftist "entertainers" always remind me of Mao's Chinese Communist Cultural Revolution, when all their plays, songs, books, etc, were steeped in beat-you-over-the-head ideology....and boring as hell.
Agreed
October 27, 2007 - 19:40 ET by Del DolemonteI used to listen to Prairie Home Companion religiously, partly due to his monologues but also because he had so many great musical acts on the show.
Part of his downfall came when he got married and briefly moved to Sweden.
What a load of bullschip...
October 27, 2007 - 19:00 ET by directorblueIn the spirit of the Real Men of Genius commercials, Real Men of Congress: BullSchip!
Keillor is like most Minnesotans
October 27, 2007 - 19:26 ET by Lame CherryIn being related to a great many Minnesotans and having dealt with Minnesotans you soon learn they are a bunch of "pretty good people" who are pompous asses the other 99% of the time.
They honestly think money grows on trees and everyone is rich, because almost everyone in Minnesota is well off.
There is a reason that Californian welfare offices have signs up showing that Minnesota is one of the highest pay out states in America. There is not a tax Minnesota does not like nor a right they will not take away.
This is what know it all Keillor is bred from. Sorry if I know the history and I offend people, but Minnesota Vikings are indeed Swedes and they settled there infested with lice and they stank. After running the Indians out and plundering the land they took baths, got deloused and started spawning Ted Turner clones.
There is not a one of them who does not think their excrement does not come in plastic wrap and is a gift of the Norse gods.
If Keillor yearns so bad for po'folks not bein' able to care fer dar chilren.......hey maybe the hundreds of millions in taxes Minnesota collects and blows on bridge kickback schemes so they collapse and the Paul Wellstones who go to Washington voting Minnesotans send more money to be lost in Iraq..........maybe liberal Keillor might learn the lesson that those dolt Swedes actually in "out state" Minnesota know better how to spend their money than liberals.
Keillor is a fossil and has run out of human he was in short supply of.
*HIC IACET ARTORIVS REX QVONDAM REXQVE FVTVRVS
most minnesotans?
October 27, 2007 - 19:51 ET by Conservative in the ArtsThey honestly think money grows on trees and everyone is rich, because almost everyone in Minnesota is well off.
---it does grow on trees, in fact...it is the trees. Lumber is good business. But I wish the second part of that statement were true, My wife just delivered a couple of bags of groceries to the woman that baby-sits our daughter.
There is not a tax Minnesota does not like nor a right they will not take away.
Then state just went smoke free. While I don't like cig smoke, I disagree with an entire state ban on any/all indoor smoking regardless of bar or resturant.
Conservative, I lived in MN
October 27, 2007 - 20:44 ET by motherbeltConservative, I lived in MN before moving to PA (see my reply to candance below)..
The entire state smoke-free, huh?
I don't if either you or 'candance' live in or near
the Twin Cities, but my favorite radio pundit, Joe Soucheray (Garage
Logic) on KSTP called, (and probably still calls) Minnesota "the state where
absolutely nothing is allowed." LOL
I live in Minnesota, and I
October 27, 2007 - 19:57 ET by candanceI live in Minnesota, and I have to say I disagree about the taxes. At least they don't tax food and clothing like they do in other states. MN might be in the top ten, but they're not #1.
Other than that, I agree about the rest. Yes there are poor people here, and some good people, but overall people here make good money and do tend to live in La La Land. This is, after all, the state that carried Mondale.
card holding member of the vast right-wing conspiracy
Garrison Keillor
October 27, 2007 - 20:33 ET by Army BratTwit.
Happy Trails...
Minnesota taxes
October 27, 2007 - 20:42 ET by motherbeltcandance, we moved from Minnesota to Pennsylvania. Everyone told us how much less our taxes would be. Well, our property tax is lower, but now we also pay a school tax, an local employment tax, and something called a "personal tax" which is basically a "just because you live here and we can do it" tax. We're not saving anything, taxwise.
mb & candance
October 27, 2007 - 20:44 ET by BlondeMove to Florida.
No state income tax, no personal tax.
Of course, the insurance premiums are a tad difficult.
And we pay lots of school taxes....for all of our illegal comrades. And lots of taxes with the "Hospital District" on our taxes as well....for same.
Property taxes are a bit problematic.
But I'd rather live in capitalistic Florida (it's an entrepreneur's state, rather than a socialist haven) than in one of the "old" states.
And before you all go crazy on me, my ex was from Minnesota (and yes, he was a lib dem).
Please, please, don't even get me started on other kinds of taxes. I work for a Fortune 500....and we tax the hell out of the consumers by government fiat....the local guv's get beaucoup bucks for doing nothing. We, of course, pass it on to the consumers.
I'd suggest you carefully check your power, water, cable, garbage, and any other utility-type bills.....and then calculate your "REAL" tax rate.
You won't be happy campers.
David Gregory, do you know which damn network you lie for? ~ Uncle Jimbo, @Blackfive
Blonde, we lived in Florida
October 27, 2007 - 20:48 ET by motherbeltBlonde, we lived in Florida for ten years. One of our sons still does. Hope to go back when we are retired.
Let's face it, they're gonna get you with taxes one way or the other. They just all call them by different names.
Quite True, MB
October 27, 2007 - 20:56 ET by BlondeOnly lately, they call them nice names....like "franchise fees".
The best part of living in Florida, though, is no state income tax. But they all get their little digs in....
Seriously. If you look at your cable bill, electric bill, garbage bill, water bill, cell phone bill, interent bill, etc. You will find there are all kinds of municipal and state taxes.
And of course, we all know what we pay to the IRS....but the "little" taxes that you just never quite pay attention to are not really so little, now, are they?
It's creeping government.
And if Hillary gets elected....Katy, bar the door.
I may just have enough net wealth to emigrate to Australia....I'm going to try it.....if....
David Gregory, do you know which damn network you lie for? ~ Uncle Jimbo, @Blackfive
Blonde, I just call em fees and fines.
October 27, 2007 - 21:05 ET by upcountrywaterI just went fishing in Colorado, I paid for a fishing license, they have a new fee called a habitat tax, which needs to be paid also, some stupid sticker one places on their car, truck.
oh yea i caught 2 rainbow trout. ( $4.50 each fee), I didn't pay for the habitat, fee kuz my bro who lives there did ,does .
Entitlement over infrastructure every SINGLE time.
Up
October 27, 2007 - 21:14 ET by BlondeThey (the dems) would tax breathing if they could figure out a way to do it.
I know Sarc drives people insane here with his incessant Ron Paul posts.
But I'm beginning to believe he has a point.
The "guv" has become so bloody (h/t Brit friend) intrusive.....I am truly getting over it.
I want to fish....HELLO, I've been doing that since I was a kid...but now I have to have a license. Or go swimming and catch a lobster for my dinner (same diff....must have license).
These idiot bureaucrats will tax us to death if we're not careful....and we've been very remiss.
Okay, I'm close to done. Seriously. I worked today...and I'm over being stretched sixteen ways from Sunday. Work hard, get ahead, get taxed to death for the illegal little beggars, the welfare queens, the non-payers of child support.
Done posting now. Sorry.
David Gregory, do you know which damn network you lie for? ~ Uncle Jimbo, @Blackfive
He ain't very handsome
October 27, 2007 - 20:46 ET by wiwfHe ain't very handsome either!
I like he's making something out of nothing. NOTHING has changed, we're back where we were 5 years ago with insuring children. Yet libtards like Keillor are trying to paint the ever-sad picture that we're making things WORSE for children. Ohoho, how these people need to get a brain!
Rush made the good point, since when should we ever believe the government can solve our problems?
The Rocky Mountain Collegian: Illustrating Idiocy
Fighting for control of the federal pork spigots
October 27, 2007 - 21:08 ET by BlindSightSurely you can see that what Republicans have done with federal spending is going to be setting us up for even more pork barrel under the Dems?
Couldn`t THAT be why the CongressCritters are happy not to push Bush too hard on Iraq? Not only is it great politics, since they let the Commander in Chief crash the ship of state all by himself, but then they get to take over and keep up the spending, even to the same powerful special interests who have been raking it in from our enormous off-balance sheet war.
The Dems clearly want to reallocate the pork somewhat, but the Republicans have handed the Dems a great argument that will help them to continue the fleecing that the Republicans have conducted so well - hey, instead of wasting the money on wars abroad, we`re going to spend it on domestic priorities. But the spending will coninue unabated.
Those who can see this coming can`t fail to see that the leadership of both parties has been entranced by the growing power of big government, and cares more about the benefits of being in charge than in governing well.
Our founding fathers are turning over in their graves, and only small government conservatives and libertarians (like Ron Paul) seem to understand or be disturbed about what`s going on. Others simply want to continue the fight over the wheel. We - who fund all of this nonsense - need to focus on taming the Leviathan and putting it on a diet. Your purely partisan approach simply feeds the Beast.
Lew Rockwell has put his finger on the problem here:
http://www.lewrockwe...
http://www.lewrockwe...
Keillor actually hates children? Come on - and you beat your wife?
Pres. George Bush: "Our guiding principle is clear. We must lead the world to produce fewer greenhouse gas emissions and we must do it in a way that does not undermine economic growth or prevent nations from delivering greater prosperity for their people."
Keillor, a boring fat slob
October 27, 2007 - 21:59 ET by Trix RabbitKeillor, a boring fat slob who has amassed a fortune at the taxpayer's expense, apparently considers himself congenitally immune to all the ills of the human soul he condemns in those he believes are his moral and intellectual inferiors, and yet children do not matter to him.
There is no other name for this attitude than that of neanderthal.
Liberal: a power worshipper without power. George Orwell
Keillor is his own
October 27, 2007 - 22:44 ET by stratmanKeillor is his own parody. He has become a bloviating bag of haggis. Blech!
Killing them with kindness isn't working. Time to get scrappy with the Donkeys.
NPR/PBS
October 27, 2007 - 22:45 ET by FOXFANNo more tax dollars for this failing liberal bunch. Let them float or sink(and they will), I just wish how to do this, let them make it on their own(they won't), nobody(normal) likes being that miserable. Air head America is a prime example, no one buying ads for this pathetic show.
}}---> Keillor
October 28, 2007 - 00:03 ET by Cool ArrowI rented a movie about him last year.
It helped me lose my need for sleeping pills.
Seems like some guy died while the show was going on and they closed up shop.
It was about as predictable as "Bella", I guess.
A nanny-like bore who
October 28, 2007 - 03:31 ET by Andrew H.A nanny-like bore who comfortably speaks of things he knows nothing about. He does use the hyperbolic methind of lying to make his boorish points in his boring style. Who gives a rat's ass? Not me, Garrison.
Liberalism is a convenient lie.
Keillor
October 28, 2007 - 06:03 ET by SlicksterYes, Garrison had a terrible childhood, ignored by his alcoholic mother, molested by his uncle Ferd and locked in the closet and fed raw hot dogs by a father who loathed his son's fetish for wearing his sister's underwear.
Sad, really...
October 28, 2007 - 08:07 ET by tbbaxterI used to listen to A Prairie Home Companion every Saturday evening back when the world was simpler. But one evening on the show a few years ago, he made some really caustic comments, not only about Bush, but also about conservatives. His rant was totally out of place in a family show. Suddenly, Lake Wobegon didn't seem like a very tolerable place to be anymore. I haven't listened to the show since and even threw away the monologues on CD. Nowdays, Keillor just seems like a bitter, angry, resentful old man, kind of like Basil Fawlty but with more attitude.
Cut public broadcasting funds to insure kids
October 28, 2007 - 10:31 ET by nkviking75Keillor would probably have kittens if someone suggested cutting funds for public radio and TV to finance insurance for kids.
When you put the clowns in charge, don't be surprised when a circus breaks out.