Humorless Liberals Fall for Satire That Claims Romney Would Ban Tampons

Liberals unwittingly bolstered the concept that they have no sense of humor on Wednesday, when several people responded angrily to a rumor that if he's elected to the White House, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney would outlaw the sale and use of tampons.

The incident began when a poster named Lexi Johnson stated on the Twitter website that the Republican official would ban the use of the medical device because "it is unnnatural for a woman to insert a foreign object into here body for the sake of stopping the menstrual flow."


In his post, Johnson asked:

did I really just hear romney wants to eliminate tampons [because] it's unnatural for a woman to show a foreign object up her!

"Lefties' fantasies about Mitt Romney's 'War on Women' have gotten a whole lot bloodier," he added. "Evidently Romney is not longer content to meddle with their precious lady parts. Now he's come for their Tampax."

That comment elicited several hostile responses from women who threatened to kill or severely injure Romney if he followed through on that promise because a tampon is a mass of absorbent material that is usually inserted in the vagina to absorb the flow of menstrual fluid.

A typical response was a comment from Abby Stamper, who stated: "If Romney gets rid of tampons, I'm gonna kill him."

One comment came from a poster named Lullaby, who believed that the GOP leader should die but was unable to do it herself, so she asked that "someone please shoot the guy."

Another woman with murder on her mind was Ashley S. Card, who stated: "Romney wants to ban tampons. I'm going to f---ing kill this guy."

"Romney I like you but seriously if you open a plane window you will die and I you ban tampons I will murder you," stated a poster with the screen name of jfcniallhoran.

Another popular remark was the posters were going to insert one or more tampons into one of Romney's body cavities, like the person with the screen name Milesforhoran, who stated that the GOP leader "better reconsider before I stick one" in an uncomfortable place.stupid_idiots_banner_answer_3_xlarge.jpeg

Others, including a poster with the screen  name Emmy, thought using 10 tampons would get the Republican's attention, while the poster named Vic's bald patch thought "a whole box of tampons" would achieve the desired result.

Several posters were more creative in their imaginative attacks on Romney, like K Furey, who tweeted:

Hey Romney why don't you sit in your own blood and filth for a few hours and tell me why tampons should be illegal

Alexandra Barajas remarked that "if romney wanting to ban tampons is true, i'm gonna stab him in the eye. he obviously doesn't f---ing know what its like to be a woman.

And mckenzie case had this penetrating insight: "Romney wants to outlaw tampons? He must really hate the wimmenz."

While venting their ire for the GOP candidate, only a few people searched for the source of the rumor, which was an article entitled "Newest GOP Attack on Women: Just Say No to Tampons" and written by Sarah Wood on February 29.

The posting, which was dormant until it was resurrected in the Twitter site, actually singled out California Republican Rep. Darrell Issa, who "recently put together an all-male panel for discussion at the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing on the contraceptive coverage rule and excluded women from the conversation.

It is unnatural for a woman to insert a foreign object into her body for the sake of stopping the menstrual flow. I, as well as several others seek to eliminate the sales of such objects. Women should let nature take care of itself the way that our Almighty Creator intended.

If by now you haven't figured out that this is a parody, you must be a full-tilt Democrat.

Had the liberal posters looked for the site that contains the story, they'd have found it was the Free Wood Post, which is headed with the tag line that it provides "News That's Almost Reliable" and has a satire disclaimer at the top of the page.

Other articles on the site include: "Paul Ryan Files for Divorce From Reality, Claims "' Am Married to My Vision,'" "Pope Asks That People Not Pray as Often and Only for Important Things," and "Ann Romney: 'Big Bird' Better Look Out This Thanksgiving."

Granted that the "banning tampons" pose was not the most hilarious concept ever, but the liberals accepted the absurd premise at face value and vented their hostility toward Romney, President Barack Obama's opponent in the upcoming election.

All of this adds ammunition to the concept that liberals either have no sense of humor or not much of one. And that's not likely to change until at least November 6.

Randy Hall
Randy Hall