DUers Explain Why Romney Won Debate: He Used Cheat Sheet

You want to know the real reason why Mitt Romney won his debate with President Obama on Wednesday night? According to the DUers at the Democratic Underground it had nothing to do with his debate skills or the fact that Obama did a poor job of defending his record. Nope. If you believe the theory floating around the DU, it was all because Romney managed to sneak in a cheat sheet cleverly disguised as a handkerchief to the debate. They even have have their own version of a Zapruder film video which has been slowed down to "prove" their case.  Although there is not yet a Grassy Knoll for the Cheat Sheet theory, the DUers have provided some incredible comedy with a suggestion for a crime scene investigation as you can see in their thread, Did Romney bring cheat notes into the debate?

Here are some DU quotes from that new comedy show...CSI Debate:

 

Watch Romney's right hand. What's up with that?

I bet he wasn't counting on there being cameras at the rear of the stage to catch him pulling his cheat sheet out of his pocket!

Wow you got it! He was cheating. Brought his crib sheet and dropped it on the podium. I say: wow! How could it be a handkerchief. I'd only pull that out when I needed it and then put it back in my pocket. I suppose this is how spoiled rich kids get by in school as well as life. BY CHEATING. F---ING CHEATING!

And now the DUers go into junior detective crime scene investigation mode:

We need some high definition, enlarged photos that's what we really need.

He is hiding a paper within another paper. The cheat sheet is folded into the other sheet.

we need to source the hankie! When did he break that out and where did it come from?

Obama needs to be equipped with a signal jammer for future debates. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Romney was being fed answers in a wireless device, so Obama should come in with a signal jammer, that would take care of that if it is an issue.

However, it turns out that Romney really didn't win the debate so much as Obama lost the debate on purpose. You see it was all part of a brilliant Obama strategy to intentionally lose. It was much like Inspector Clouseau claiming he really intended to fall over a couch. All part of a grand plan as one DU thread describes the "brilliant strategy" of Inspector Barack Clouseau:

Wait a minute, DU!! I take back everything I said. President Obama has a BRILLIANT strategy...

Poker: Don't let your opponent see your hand too early.

I think I'm changing my mind on this. I'm thinking the president is playing chess.

Now that I've thought about it more, I think the president is playing poker.

Poker? Chess? Poker? Make up your mind already!

I believe that Obama DELIBERATELY did poorly because he know that no matter what he did, he'd lose.

He will go back, take Robme's words and use them against him for the FINAL debate, which will be the economy again. I think I see a strategy here. I'm trying to understand. I hope that the voters don't become demoralized. I'm guessing that this is what is going on.

I see. Obama will win by losing. A brilliant move by Inspector Barack Clouseau!

You can see more DU "brilliance" about the sneaky cheat sheet and the subtle poker/chess/poker moves of Inspector Barack Clouseau at the DUmmie FUnnies.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.