Reuters Hypes Laughable North Korea Ruler 'Sharp Change'

Kim Jong-un, the dictator of North Korea who inherited his position from daddy, Kim Jong-il, now has another toy to play with thanks to being fortunate enough to live through birth. Although the bloated young Kim appears as if he would have difficulty performing even one boot camp pushup, he has just been given control of the entire military due to his promotion to grand marshal of the army.

Jack Kim (no known relation to guess who) of Reuters wrote up the story about this not exactly merit-based promotion. However, Mr. Kim also gave us a buildup about some "sharp change" in North Korea that turned out to be a highly laughable letdown. First the "sharp change" hype:

Kim Jong-un's brief term in office since his father's death is, at least on the surface, a sharp change from the former leader's dour rule which took North Korea deeper into isolation, abject poverty and large-scale political repression.

Oooh! I'm impressed! What could that "sharp change" possibly be? Did young Kim free some prisoners from North Korean slave labor camps or perhaps loosen up the economy even a tiny bit? After building up my expectations, Jack Kim sure let the air out of the balloon by following up with this:

Once the official mourning period was over, the youngest Kim to rule North Korea was seen laughing with fusty old generals, gesticulating in delight at a military parade and, the biggest shock of all, speaking in public. Most North Koreans went to their graves never having heard Kim the elder speak.

Wow! What will be the next "sharp change" out of North Korea? Kim Jong-un performing a quick Donald Duck impression in public?

Meanwhile a suggestion to young Kim if he really wants to impress us. In your new position as marshal of the army, how about ordering that the already oversized military hats be made even larger? That would provide us additional entertainment when watching the goosestepping North Korean military march videos. And, hey, wouldn't that also represent "sharp change?"

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.