The Hill: Elizabeth Warren Really Is Part Indian...in 'Mythical Terms'

By P.J. Gladnick | May 22, 2012 | 12:33

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Are you prepared, Bernie Quigley?

Are you prepared for your inevitable coronation as national laughingstock?

Bernie Quigley of The Hill has written himself into the laughstock status by his incredibly laughable excuse for Elizabeth Warren's false claim to be part Indian. According to Quigley, paleface Warren really wasn't lying about her ancestry. Why? I have placed Quigley's bizarre rationale below the fold so you have a chance to put down your drinks to prevent the drenching of your monitors when you read it:

...Warren's claim to be "part Indian" is correct in mythical terms.

So is this "fake but accurate" as Dan Rather would describe it? Not quite. It seems to be "fake but mythical" as proclaimed by Quigley.

And now let us enjoy the entertaining Quigley comedy as he expains his "mythical terms" reasoning:

...In the heartland it is almost universal for those who have been there for a few generations to claim Indian blood; that is, to wish it were there even if it isn't. It is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth; the fabric of old-soul American consciousness.

So it's not a lie to benefit from affirmative action goodies based on a false claim of Indian heritage? And now Quigley explains how it is not a lie to lie:

So Warren's claim to be "part Indian" is correct in mythical terms. Every old-school white Oklahoman is in this regard even if this in nominally not true. But it is not a lie to want to be Indian and to imagine your ancestors were. It is to be free of Europeanism.

Quigley adds to his unintended humor with a portrait of Warren as the noble unsavage:

Warren in that regard brings a fresh, classical Americanism from the heartland back to us in Boston where we still have tendencies. The James brothers, both William and Henry, would appreciate it. Henry in particular, in The Bostonians, could only find one worthy character up here, the country cousin Basil Ransom, a lawyer visiting from Mississippi. We are lucky to have Warren among us. She adds stock and substance.

Finally Quigley hopes that Warren doubles down on her Indian claim because she is somehow validated by the mere desire to be Indian:

And I hope Elizabeth Warren doesn't back down on this, because wanting to be Indian, like Hawkeye, makes us in a deeper sense fully American.

And I hope Bernie Quigley doesn't back down on his article because he really is a laughingstock...and not just in "mythical terms."

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Comments

Mythical terms...,

Submitted by CarlosS on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:41pm.

I'm not from the "heartland", but I did watch "Pocahantas"..., and "Avatar" twice, can I be a noble native american in mythical terms, too?

Sure you can.

Submitted by misterbee241 on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 4:19pm.

It's not a lie to want to be an Indian. Quigly said so. I want to be, therefore I am.

If you're not getting flak, you're not over the target.

Oh geez

Submitted by Galvanic on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:43pm.

Mythical heritage?

Tell it to the Cherokees. Tell them how those without Indian blood want so badly to be Indians that it, in effect, makes them native-Americans.

Warren is a Cherokee-wannabe because she thinks it gives her credibility. She's a fraud, and so is Quigley.

Technically...

Submitted by CobraMan on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:09pm.

Technicality, she's a poser, and a "mythical" one at that!

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus. The US Supreme Court

Or Anwar al-Awlaki.

That's a more accurate description

Submitted by Galvanic on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:49pm.

And as far as I know, she hasn't stopped.

I notice she

Submitted by misterbee241 on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 4:24pm.

didn't pick a lesser known tribe like the Kickapoo or the Hunkpapa. She chose the more romantic Cherokee.

If you're not getting flak, you're not over the target.

Could it be..

Submitted by Outback Jon on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 6:11pm.

Maybe she's a member of the Hekawi tribe.

How is this not cultural colonialism by proxy?

Submitted by CO2Maker on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:50pm.

Ah, the great spirit of the indigenously native First People, who settled here many moons ago, ate the buffalo who just fell over dead, and communed with the grass that grew in the low-carbon footprint plains.

We white people, who pushed the native First People ahead of us, respected their non-Christian and heathen ways and are spiritual kin with them.

We have taken their spirit with us to our lodges in Boston to make much wampum among our elders at the place of the inculcating, known as Hah-vahd.

We drive Pontiac cars, too.

Warren gamed the affrimative action system

Submitted by frank14 on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:48pm.

She is just as cynical as Obama, who claimed to be born in Kenya to sell a few books.

Mythical terms...,

Submitted by CarlosS on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:49pm.

I'm not from the "heartland", but I did watch "Pocahantas"..., and "Avatar" twice, can I be a noble native american in mythical terms, too?

Mythical Indeed.

Submitted by Samaritan01 on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:54pm.

Is that mythical in the same sense that Obama is now a skilled leader and thoroughly truthful?? If so then I can believe that Warren is of Indian blood.

In "mythical" terms? That means in "delusional" terms.

Submitted by drsamherman on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 12:59pm.

Bernie "Liawatha's Boy Toy" Quigley, who must be carrying a truckload of psychiatric issues, is delusional. I can't think of any other way to describe it.

The documentation showing that Princess Spreading Bull is a Cherokee does not exist beyond her vague recollections and her supposedly high cheekbones. The documentation also heavily suggests her family helped to betray the Cherokees and forced them onto the infamous Trail of Tears. So in other words, not only is she not Native American, by heritage she's a Native American enemy.

Quigley is nearly psychotic if he thinks anyone will buy that fatuous, delusional line of garbage.

Since when?

Submitted by CobraMan on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:04pm.

"In the heartland it is almost universal for those who have been there for a few generations to claim Indian blood"

Since when? This is the first time I've ever heard about it. I wonder if someone like, oh, I don't know, Abraham Lincoln, who was obviously from the "Heartland, would have made the claim that he was "part Indian?" And how about Hillary Clinton, is she "part Indian" too?

But, hay, "it's almost universal," says a man who doesn't even live in the Heartland, so who are we to argue otherwise, right?

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. The US Constitution

Unless you're a fetus. The US Supreme Court

Or Anwar al-Awlaki.

I knew it!!!

Submitted by scottyusmc on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:09pm.

For the longest time I thought I was a blonde haired, blue eyed African-American. Hey, where are my reparations...

Though my skin is white

Submitted by Cappmann1962 on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:26pm.

I claim American Indian, Black, Hispanic, and any and all other ancestry that will get me grants, tax breaks, and bunches of "free" stuff. Of course, I'm not of Indian, Black, or other decent, just plain old Eoropean stock. But I really, really WISH I was, so mythologically speaking, I really am. So where's my free stuff????

All I want is my 'fair share'

Submitted by DontFeedTheTrolls on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:32pm.

So can we all get a cut from those Indian casino profits?

Americans keeping their own earnings is a Civil Right! Demand your Civil Rights!

This is exactly what I was thinking

Submitted by TempusFugit on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 7:40pm.

when I read the article. I wish I was Native American. Now cut me a large check for my share of those ridiculously profitable casinos

In Switzerland, they had brotherly love and five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock! - Orson Welles

Shoot

Submitted by KornKing on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:36pm.

Maybe she should join Mensa while she's at it. Mythically speaking, of course.

I wonder if this will work with life insurance?

Submitted by bkeyser on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:38pm.

Like, if I tell them I'm actually only 24, because, well, who doesn't want to be younger? It is to be free of aging. It's not a lie to want to be younger, and imagine that my ancestors were -at some point- right?

Or, how about the legal system?

What if I tell a judge that I didn't do it? It is to be free of guilt. It's not a lie to want to be guiltless, or imagine my ancestors were guiltless. Is it?

I'm 1/16 Indian, but have

Submitted by Kenny Bunkport on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 2:03pm.

I'm 1/16 Indian, but have never claimed it or used it to receive minority benefits. And yes, it's backed up by genealogical record.

My siblings and I have always been a little proud of this, despite the facts of the ancestry were scandalous at the time (let's just say that illegitimacy is involved).

However, I have been thinking for some time about declaring myself Cherokee. I have already come up with my Indian name. I wish to be called Great Stinking Bear, alluding to my contrary disposition.

A gun in your hand beats a cop on the phone.

Utter nonsense

Submitted by c5then on Tue, 05/22/2012 - 2:14pm.

In fact it is complete Sitting Bullsh*t.

If the CFO of YAHOO can be fired for lying on his resume (he had a degree in accounting, not IT) then Warren ought to be fired from Harvard for lying on her biographical record (and resume too?). She is a charlatan of the worst sort. Claiming minority status to get special treatment and thus displacing the actual minority that might have gotten hired in her stead.

Madison and Jefferson and Franklin built a Republic - Roberts killed it!