Business Magazine Assumes C.E.O. Readers 'Stealing from Shareholders'

How do you increase readership at a business magazine? Assume your readers are criminals.

Written by Caroline Waxler, Conde-Nast’s Portfolio magazine has been running a regular ‘How To’ sort of article called the “C.E.O. Survival Guide”, which assumes from the get-go that businessmen and women will ultimately get themselves into trouble—namely criminal activity:

“Just as you got a better house, car, and private plane than the next guy, you’re likely to get a better jail cell too. It’s one of the perks of stealing from shareholders rather than from a 7-Eleven clerk, so make the best of it.”

Waxler, who’s writing is consistently upbeat for the subject matter, also says that just because you are bound for prison, “there’s no reason to abandon your can-do attitude.”

The author also has some tips if someone in a C.E.O.’s company is spying on the press. First the C.E.O. should apologize to the journalist involved and as Waxler’s source Jonathan Bloom says, “‘Do a press conference, not just a press release. Tell them, ‘I have sinned,’ à la Jimmy Swaggart.’” Waxler does admit, “Journalists are pests, but you mustn’t spy on them.”

Waxler also has tips on what to do if you are caught backdating, overspending when redecorating your office and using business resources for personal use.

The magazine might need a survival guide of its own though.

The New York Times reported today that Deputy Editor, James Impoco, was fired after clashes with Joanne Lipman, the editor at Portfolio. According to the article, the two had many conflicts but differed when it came to former investigative reporter at The New York Times, Kurt Eichenwald, who admitted to paying someone he later wrote a story about while working for the paper.

Eichenwald now works for Portfolio and according to MediaBistro’s Fishbowl NY, subpoenaed PayPal accounts show Eichenwald may have paid his source more than he said he did and might have gotten himself into even more trouble because of it.