Washington Whispers: Ted Kennedy an Innocent Chappaquiddick Victim

This is one story that U.S. News & World Report's Washington Whispers might want to keep to a low whisper or risk even more ridicule than what they are already receiving. Paul Bedard, writing in Washington Whispers, quotes Kennedy's biographer and former girlfriend who claim that Ted was really an innocent victim of the Chappaquiddick accident. Here is Kennedy biographer Burton Hersh making the case for Kennedy as merely a lousy driver:

Now, a year after Kennedy died, his lifelong biographer Burton Hersh, armed with fresh interviews with Kennedy's mistress at the time, tells Whispers that the whole July 1969 episode  should have been handled as a simple crash, leaving the senator's legacy untainted. "It was a car accident," he says. "Ted was a terrible driver. He never paid much attention to where he was going."

"He took a tremendous blow on the head," says Hersh. In interviews following the crash, Kennedy displayed confusion and amnesia, he says.

Wasn't Ted married to Joan Kennedy at the time of the accident? No matter. Perhaps his biographer figures it is better to show that Kennedy was unfaithful rather then culpable in Mary Jo Kopechne's death. In any event, loyal lifelong biographer Hersh continues to play a sympathetic note on his violin:

"If the thing had been handled properly, the first thing they would have done is put him in a hospital. Then they would have said he was a victim of an auto accident and didn't know what he was doing and couldn't be held responsible for anything that happened really after that, which would have been a fair explanation," says author-journalist Hersh, who knew Kennedy since they were classmates at Harvard. "But instead, he felt terribly guilty about the whole thing ... tried to take responsibility and ... just confused the issue."

Darn that mighty Ted Kennedy moral compass. That is what got him into so much trouble. Oddly enough, despite his laughable defense of Kennedy, Hersh admits that his type of woman is a...bimbo:

As for Kennedy being interested in the straight-laced Kopechne, Hersh says that was highly unlikely. "She wasn't Ted's kind of babe. She was a long way from being a bimbo."

Most of the Washington Whispers readers don't seem to be buying this bizarre rewrite of history judging from their posted remarks:

If I had done the same thing I would have gone to jail for 4 years for manslaughter. Trying to rewrite Teddy's shameful acts won't cut it. 

Read "Senatorial Privilege" published shortly after the accident and inquest. Provides an hour by hour investigatorial record. 'Nuff said.

I wish every reader of this article had a personal army of lackeys like the Kennedy's do to come up with trash like this to protect them.

Yeah, so confused he swims back to his hotel, goes to his room and gets some sleep before reporting the accident. He knew what he had done and what he was doing. Anyone with honor would have admitted his transgressions. 

In my neighborhood, and absent political connections, we call this tragic event failure to render aid, driving while intoxicated, leaving the scene of a felony accident, and he should have been charged with murder. 

And now the bonus comedy punchline from the article to explain away Kennedy's dissolute activies:

He also brushes off tales that Kennedy was a playboy more than a lawmaker. "Kennedy's central project was accomplishing as much as he could in public life. And all of the things, including the drinking, the women, and the rest, were sort of supportive activities. They were amusements."

 Burton Hersh: historical airbrusher with the special comedic touch.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.