"My dog ate our ratings."
Okay, that wasn't one of the lame excuses that CNN president Jon Klein came up with to explain away that network's drastic plunge in the ratings but the ones he did dream up were equally hilarious. Try this one on for size...their low ratings can be explained away because they don't run cartoons during slow periods. The CNN hilarious excuse entertainment was provided courtesy of this Matea Gold Los Angeles Times story which first listed the ratings woes facing that network:
...the network has lost much of the gains it made during the political boom time. CNN has drawn an average of 932,000 viewers in prime time this year, down 25% compared with the same point last year, according to Nielsen.
The trend has worsened as the year has progressed. In October, it recorded its smallest audience of the year, barely edging out its sister network HLN to avoid placing fourth in the key 25- to 54-year-old demographic in prime time. (Among total viewers, CNN still beat MSNBC across all programming, but placed a distant second to Fox News.)
...CNN is even feeling the slump on nights when it is expected to dominate. On Tuesday, it placed fourth with its election coverage, attracting just 826,000 viewers in prime time. Fox News had more than 4 million, while MSNBC drew 974,000 and HLN (which didn't cover the election) had 842,000.
Initially CNN tries to pretend that it really isn't that concerned with their ratings as they go into a "What, Me Worry?" mode:
Network executives insist that they are not alarmed by the drop-off, noting that prime time makes up just 10% of the revenue of CNN Worldwide, which continues to enjoy profit growth.
But how to explain away that disturbing ratings plunge? This could be embarrassing (and hilarious):
Still, after crowing about its ratings victories last year, CNN is now in the awkward position of trying to explain why its declining audience is not an issue.
And now the ratings excuses comedy entertainment begins as performed by CNN president Klein starting with the cartoons routine:
"We are not going to try to boost numbers during fallow news periods by running cartoons, as our competitors do," Klein said. "We're going to cover the news and we'll attract an ever more loyal audience as the result of it."
So if CNN broadcasts reruns of "The Flintstones" that is somehow going to help? Sorry for the interruption, Jon. Keep on coming up with funny excuses. You're on a roll:
"They are in a completely different business than we are," he added. "We are not putting out the same product as they are. And we shouldn't be compared to them on that account."
Huh? Fox News Channel is in the business of broadcasting news? So what is the purpose of CNN. Harvesting lemons? Here comes the rimshot from Fox News:
"Jon's correct: It's unfair to compare CNN to Fox News," said Fox News spokeswoman Dana Klinghoffer. "Based on his network's dismal ratings, it's more accurate to compare CNN to the G4 channel."
Bada-BING!
And now a Jon Klein straight line:
Klein said CNN advances the stories it focuses on. "We don't wallow in sensationalism," he said.
The punchline from Matea Gold delivering comedy gold:
CNN also devoted substantial coverage this summer to the death of Michael Jackson. In the two months following his death in late June, the story was the second most-covered topic in prime time on CNN, taking up 17% of the airtime, according to the Project for Excellence in Journalism's News Coverage Index. MSNBC devoted 9% of its airtime to Jackson and Fox News spent 6% of its time on the topic.
Bada-BOOM!
An encore from comedian Klein:
"We don't wallow in sensationalism."
—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.



















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Geez.....I was sure........!
November 9, 2009 - 09:02 ET by Patriot III would have bet money it was Bush's fault lol....wadda bunch of maroons!!!
How can they tell us what's going on in the world ...
November 9, 2009 - 09:13 ET by KC Mulville... when they can't see the nose on their own face?
This is just one more example of the arrogance of the media. Most people want the media to inform them about what's going on. That's why the public values the news media. But the media themselves think their real value is the "added perspective" they bring to their reporting. They think their real value is the "quality" of their "perspective."
They demand the right to shape your worldview.
That's why these idiots are surprised (and threatened) when ordinary citizens with cellphone cameras take pictures of important events. They harrumph when mere, "bare" news trumps their editorializing.
They're a fraud.
They are not interested in
November 9, 2009 - 09:47 ET by motherbeltThey are not interested in having "quantity" of viewers, but are aiming for "quality" of viewers, so it's understandable that they are not extremely popular.
IOW, most people aren't sophisticated enough to appreciate them. But that's OK, because they attract a better class of viewer.
Yeah, that's it, Mr. Klein... whatever gets you through the night.
Ahh.. the old socialist
November 9, 2009 - 10:41 ET by ThoreauAhh.. the old socialist construct. So CNN is geared more towards a more intelligent "class" of people. I'm glad you cleared that up.
So calling them the Communist News Network is still accurate, correct?
Klein on viewership
November 9, 2009 - 10:45 ET by CO2Maker"Our target demographic is the people who watch us. Our viewer surveys have a margin of error of ±2—viewers, not percentage points (which is really 5%)."
Interesting. Cartoons are
November 9, 2009 - 09:38 ET by ninerdogInteresting. Cartoons are the answer. Kind of gives you a bit of incite to what they think is there demographic is and what they want. Can’t be that people are sick of the liberal spin they spew out as news..
I find puppets more effective.
November 9, 2009 - 10:02 ET by Sestren_NKIf you replaced the MSNBC cast with actual puppet versions of themselves, not only am I guessing it will be slightly more entertaining, but it'll probably make a lot more sense, too.
The Entire Network Is A Clown Show
November 9, 2009 - 09:45 ET by dboI've watched CNN. I beg to differ.
What is that cartoon reference all about?
November 9, 2009 - 10:00 ET by CO2MakerI unplugged the TV last April 6, smiling broadly.* I haven't plugged the TV in since then.
Is he referring to Chris the Wide Mouth Frog and Keith "I can see a mash-bag in my bathtub" the Sports Boy on MSNBC?
mrz091008dAPR.jpg 462×350 pixels
* Guess why.
Insults
November 9, 2009 - 10:00 ET by ptsonALL 5 viewers of CNN are highly insulted by the comments here, especially about the cartoons. You can flip over to the comedy channel YOU KNOW!
Which news network shows the cartoons?
November 9, 2009 - 10:44 ET by karelingObviously not one that I watch, in which case it must be MSNBC, one of those "legitimate" news organizations according to the WH.
Also from the LAT article:
Fox News, on track to have its best year ever, has averaged 2.16 million viewers this year, a boost of 10% from 2008, while MSNBC is a close third with 810,000, down 3%.
810,000 behind 2.16 million is considered a "close third"? Oh wait--they mean close to CNN's equally dismal numbers.
For so long the liberals have had no competition
November 9, 2009 - 10:46 ET by holeinthehullHoleinthehull
20 years ago Liberal news media outlets were never called on the carpet by competition and observers (read bloggers). The shoe is on the other foot now and "fair and balanced" is winning big time. Liberal outlets can't believe that viewers would actually like the unvarnished truth vs the pablum they have been feeding the country for the last 45-50 years. The MSM take on the news is becoming obsolete and irrelavant. People are tired of the MSM shilling for the left wing and nut job organizations in this country!
99% of Americans do not watch CNN...
November 9, 2009 - 10:56 ET by Red Jeep...Thank God!
Can you imagine thinking you are a major news source and 99% of the country doesn't watch. but then again most of America is not watching TV anymore. 93% of America doesn't watch the Big 3 newscasts.
I thought about watching CNN for many years
November 9, 2009 - 12:13 ET by CO2MakerThen I did it! It was over in 7 minutes!
Where's the plan?
November 9, 2009 - 11:24 ET by slickwillie2001Again the obvious questions. Any time a business is failing as CNN is, stockholders demand a recovery plan. Turnaround specialist CEO-types are brought in, management is looked at under a microscope, people are fired, a plan for recovery is put together. CNN seems to be happily sailing off into the sunset. Why?
cnn
November 9, 2009 - 11:38 ET by jaywlIt hard to believe that CNN devoted almost 1/5th of its airtime to Jackson. Usually the less said about a pitiful man like him the better.
Matea Gold of the Los
November 9, 2009 - 11:53 ET by TEMatea Gold of the Los Angeles Times asserts: "CNN is even feeling the slump on nights when it is expected to dominate."
"When [CNN] is expected to dominate"? "Expected to dominate" by whom? Very stupid leftists who haven't noticed that CNN has been getting destroyed by Fox News for years and years and years. When was the last time that CNN dominated anything? 1986?
Why people hate the news
November 9, 2009 - 11:56 ET by MadRatAs I keep saying there are several reasons why people hate the news.
1.Half the US is Liberal
November 9, 2009 - 12:00 ET by Jack BauerErr, that's not true.
From memory, the latest very large respected poll (out a couple of weeks ago) showed that 41% of people said they were "conservative";
while only 20% claimed to be "liberal."
I'm basing my statement on
November 9, 2009 - 17:50 ET by MadRatI'm basing my statement on the last three Presidential elections, were proximately half the voters voted for each candidate with one candidate gaining a slight lead.
Aha!!
November 9, 2009 - 11:58 ET by Candance MooreI suspect the cartoon comment was about Ted Turner. Remember about a month ago when he did an interview talking about how he wishes he could run Captain Planet all the time?
Nevertheless, let's run down CNN's recent hard news ventures:
-fact checked a skit fron Saturday Night Live.
-reported on the British government handing out free heroine.
-brought children onto their set to sing a song about healthcare reform.
-whined about NB while covering the Obama Joker poster.
-aired a "news" segment about five unknown Latina women sitting around a table, all of whom just happened to endorse Sonia Sotomayor. Oh, and one of them was the anchor's mom.
Then let's look at other entertainment they've given us:
-prominent news anchor embarrased on Jeopardy.
-another prominent anchor appeared on Sesame Street.
-another prominent anchor whined about Fox on his twitter page.
Yeah, I can see why CNN calls themselves serious news.
Thanks Candance, I couldn't
November 9, 2009 - 17:57 ET by Radical1979Thanks Candance, I couldn't figure out the cartoon comment. Good points on CNN. The only time I turn them on is when I hear the MSM is complaining about Lou Dobbs. Then I'll tune it to see him. Otherwise, they just aren't news.
Ugh....
November 9, 2009 - 17:06 ET by ConservativeClarkCNN shows are boring as hell. Thats why their ratings suck so bad. Anderson Cooper, Larry King, Campbell Brown, all boring as hell. I can understand being serious and trying to report the news, but you need to have some personality too. The sad part is that they fail to report the news as well (without a leftist bend).
Not sensationalist? Um...er... that is not what I observed
November 10, 2009 - 00:57 ET by surfergirl54I am Australian. I was in the USA during July, and in fact landed in L.A. just as Michael Jackson hysteria was really getting underway... thank goodness that was just an overnighter.
So, I spent a lot of time in hotels during my trip and most of the time the T.V. in the lobby and in the bar and elsewhere was tuned to CNN... at least that was the case until there was a revolt. Michael Jackson was so overplayed that people began to really revolt and requested that the station be changed. The hotel management had to oblige the request.
However, there is more... because there is the action of the reporter in the Honduras. I am not kidding when I say that I was disgusted with the coverage of the first attempt by Zelaya to return to Honduras. That reporter was extremely partisan in the way he was reporting events. This was nothing impartial about what took place.
In the old days CNN was on the spot, reporting what took place. I know I watched CNN coverage of the first gulf war, and probably other similar events. In those days I was uncritical of the coverage. Well that is not the case right now because they are so far up themselves with their bias that what they have to say is largely irrelevant. That is why people are turning away from CNN.
During my trip I was in Canada, and we went as far as Montreal. It was a shame that I could not totally understand the French reporting but hey I could see a lot more balance in the reports!!!
As far as Australia is concerned I rarely watch the news because of the same kind of bias. It really sickens me the way that these reporters carry on with all of their liberal bias.