Woo! Hoo! Break out the victory champagne! Wonderful news on the diplomatic and economic fronts!

Obama's expressions of deep concern have caused Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to wilt under the pressure and announce that Iran will destroy its nuclear plants. On top of that there is news of soaring employment numbers as well as a booming economy. 

Okay, so maybe none of this is really happening but one could be forgiven for believing these fantasies if his reading material were limited to Reuters which jubilantly published a story by Steve Holland titled Obama Scores Twin Coups on Iran, Economy:

PITTSBURGH (Reuters) - President Barack Obama scored twin diplomatic coups on Friday, seizing the world stage to forge a new allied call for action against Iran and a framework for global economic growth.

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The moves ended a week of intense focus on foreign policy for Obama and could help shore up his standing among Americans after recent weeks during which his popularity fell to about 51 percent from highs around 70 percent after he took office in January.

This Reuters reporter sounds just a wee bit too anxious to inject good news for Obama wherever he can find it. Watch as Steve Holland goes into a cheerleader overdrive:

From the United Nations in New York to a Group of 20 summit in Pittsburgh, it was all Obama all the time. He declared a "new era of engagement" for U.S. diplomacy and chaired a U.N. Security Council meeting on nuclear nonproliferation.

Holland puts his pom-poms aside just long enough to inject a note of very slight caution to his enthusiastic visions of the alternate reality:

Despite a more positive mood, solutions to world challenges from Iran's nuclear program to climate change remain elusive and Obama still faces a long list of headaches that will test his leadership.

A debate on the cost and direction of his proposed U.S. healthcare overhaul is far from over and his administration faces internal divisions over whether to add U.S. troops to an Afghanistan war that is testing the patience of Americans.

Okay Steve, two paragraphs which present a bare hint of reality is quite enough. Please return us to Fantasyland:

All the same, Obama had a good week, said Charles Kupchan, a professor of international relations at Georgetown University and a former Clinton White House official.

"He has begun to deliver. When critics ask "Where's the beef?" he now has an answer. It's still a tentative answer but these are all issues that take time," Kupchan said.

"I do think it has been an important week in that he has begun to turn rhetoric into reality."

All, all in just one week. And the Reuters cheerleader has declared that there are signs that the recession may be ending. RAH! RAH! Rah-Rah! RAH!

As host of the G20 summit of the world's richest nations and emerging powers, Obama enjoyed a diplomatic breakthrough on managing the global economy amid signs the recession may be ending.

He joined in the decision by major world leaders to turn over the duty of managing the global economy to the G20 nations rather than the more exclusive Group of Eight that has held sway for years.

The move gives China a greater voice in economic matters and could have the added effect of encouraging Beijing to play a greater role in the global economic rebalancing that the United States has proposed.

Out of work? Losing your home to foreclosure? Good news! Cheerleader Steve of Reuters has reported that Obama made it possible for China to have a greater role in the global economy. Now don't you feel so much better? 

—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.