Alec Baldwin: 'Don't Name a Bridge After Ted'

A piece of advice to liberals who wish to pay tribute to Ted Kennedy: don't mention his name in the same sentence as the word "bridge" since it will undermine whatever else you write. Unfortunately for Alec Baldwin, that is exactly what he did in his Huffington Post tribute to the deceased senator:

Don't name a bridge after Ted.

Yes, Baldwin did write a lot more about Ted Kennedy in his tribute but that one sentence alone pretty much overwhelms whatever else he wrote. However, to be fair to Alec, let us look at some of the rest of his tribute which almost everyone will forget because of his incredibly poor choice of words above:

How unusual to mark the death of a Kennedy man in old age and from ordinary circumstances like illness. No tragic accidents. No political homicides. No footage to watch, obsessively, for decades to come, wondering what brought that moment on.

Well, um, there actually was a tragic accident but the victim was not Ted Kennedy although you could also say that it killed his presidential bid so that could also qualify as a "political homicide."

Ted Kennedy died once. More than once, you might say. But beyond the crippling legacy of Chappaquiddick, Kennedy died in 1980, when the last brother played his last dynastic card in pursuit of the White House and lost to the smug Carter. Carter never had a more satisfying moment than when he vanquished a Kennedy in order to take the nomination. Months later, his Plains plain-ness was upended by another man with real charisma and less baggage than EMK.

Uh, someone else also died as a result of the "crippling legacy" of Chappaquiddick. I'll give you a hint, Alec. It happened at a type of public works which  you should avoid mentioning in the same sentence as Ted Kennedy.

After his "death" in 1980, he began the slow and deliberate effort to become a great lawmaker. Many Americans today forget that the role of the legislative branch is to make laws. The laws that stop abuses of power. The laws that enable men to live free. The people we send to the Hill today, what passes for leadership in America now, are easier to identify as partisan assassins, like the ruffian on a hockey team. You are more clear about what they are against, as opposed to for.

Of course, those "partisan assassins" that Baldwin is referring to are those wascally wepublicans who are stubbornly blocking a massive deficit inducing ObamaCare bill.

Stand by now for an Alec Baldwin quote that actually gives some competition to the one cited earlier in the standout department:

Barney Frank is, perhaps, one of the best examples of what a great legislator is today.

The same Barney Frank who gave us assurances as to how Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac were fundamentally sound not so long ago? Had it not been for Baldwin's bridge statement, the above would have been the money quote of his tribute. However, even the Barney Frank claim falls by the wayside when compared to perhaps the worst choice of words ever in a eulogy. And finally we have the money quote which, perhaps in retrospect, Baldwin will wish he never wrote:

Don't name a bridge after Ted. Or the wing of a prestigious university or airport. Name a building on Capitol Hill. That is where the heart of Teddy Kennedy can be found. On a sail boat, yes. At Hyannis or anywhere with his remarkable kin. Sure. But Edward Kennedy's legacy is the legacy of a man who lost the Presidency but lived on to become an effective and, therefore, great American political leader. That is something you and I and this country could not have lived without.

And you could have definitely lived without that quote in your Ted Kennedy tribute:

 Don't name a bridge after Ted.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.