'Valley Girl' McCain Delivers Like Totally Gnarly Performance on Larry King

For the record, Laura Ingraham never actually called Meghan McCain fat. However, Ingraham has been dead on hilarious in her imitation of Meghan's mindless sounding Valley Girl accent. A quick listen to Ms McCain's voice on this video clip of her appearance on CNN's Larry King Live last night brought back memories of the years your humble correspondent spent in the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles, birthplace of the Valley Girl accent which, unfortunately, spread to many parts of the country. That Valspeak accent still painfully reverberates in my ears yet despite my earnest hope that it would die a permanent death, along comes Meghan McCain to resurrect that annoying sound in interview after interview in her quest for eternal publicity for herself.

So how does someone who sounds so annoyingly vacuous rate so much publicity? Simple. When a Republican (or relative of a prominent Republican) slams Republicans and/or conservatives, such a person will be enthusiastically given a national forum by the MSM. Even someone like John McCain's daughter who doesn't really sound all that interested in political issues. As you can see in this interview, Valley Girl McCain seems much more enthusiastic rambling on about how she was supposedly "dissed" by Laura Ingraham and carefully pondering which tattoo to choose for her wrist. First Larry plays a video clip of Barack Obama laughing while discussing the economic crises during his 60 Minutes interview with Steve Kroft then asks Meghan for her "learned" input:

LARRY KING: All right, Meghan, he's taking some criticism for smiling and laughing.

Are you one of those critics?

MEGHAN MCCAIN: You know, I actually am not. I think anyone that would possibly think that the president is not taking the economy seriously -- I just think it's ridiculous. I think it's like spinning in the 24-hour news cycle. I mean he's still new at this. He's only 60 to 80 days in. And he's making a joke during an interview. I think we take these things too seriously. And I do think the president is taking the economy seriously so.

KING: How about a lot of media -- "The Tonight Show," "60 Minutes," ESPN basketball, cover of "G.Q." "Vanity Fair," tomorrow night, an entire news conference?

We'll, by the way, follow that news conference.

Over exposure?

MCCAIN: I think he is on the verge of it. I do think you have to be careful. But it is a different generation. You know, mine, the generation of YouTube and Twitter and Mississippi and we like our celebrities. We like being involved. And I think that he realizes that because he is very much a Generation Y president.

However, he is on the risk of alienating his older followers.

Speaking of overexposure... And now Meghan on the need to support Obama.

KING: Did you grow up political?

I mean your dad is, of course, a major politician.

But did you were you into it early?

MCCAIN: Sort of. It sort of happened in college. I was kind of rebelling in high school and not wanting to be a part of it. But it's in my nature, so it kind of grew on me.

KING: Does Obama seem like the guy -- the same guy who ran against your dad?

Is he?

How do you view him?

MCCAIN: He's our president and when the election was over and when President Obama won, all negative feelings were gone. I support the president. You know, I do think he is at risk of possibly overexposing himself. But it's his administration. You know, it's his ball game. It's his to win over or not so.

KING: How does your dad feel about that?

MCCAIN: I think the same way. You know, my family is really good at letting go of things and moving on. And he just holds no grudges. And right now is a really scary time for our -- you know, the country. And there's so much going on with the economy. And I just want what's best for our country. And he's our leader and we need to support him.

Of course we have the obligatory slam against Rush Limbaugh which is mandatory in any interview nowadays with "moderate" Republicans who dislike conservatives:

KING: Do you think most of the people in your party agree with Mr. Limbaugh?

Do they want him to fail?

MCCAIN: I don't know, because there are many different personalities within the party. I think I've definitely shown that. I -- I do not want the president to fail. I would never want my president to fail, no matter which party is in power. And that's my personal opinion. And I know Mr. Limbaugh has other opinions.

KING: You don't think it would help your party if he fails?

Well, it would hurt the country, huh?

MCCAIN: I don't -- I love my country. I'm an American. I love being an American and I don't want my country to fail and I don't want my president to fail. That's my opinion.

Meghan McCain explains why she is a "progressive" Republican which really means "moderate" Republican which means "liberal" Republican which ultimately means Democrat:

KING: ...Do you -- do you consider yourself a moderate?

Are you moderate liberal?

Are you...

MCCAIN: I consider myself a progressive Republican. I am liberal on social issues. And I think that the party is at a place where social issues shouldn't be the issues that define the party. And I have taken heat, but in fairness to me, I am a different generation than the people that are giving me heat. I'm 24 years old. I'm not in my 40s, I'm not in my 50s and older. And I think there's just such a generation gap, that the people that don't understand me, I actually take it as a compliment, that sort of this new young Republican can come forward and make progress and be successful in the ways that this party has currently failed.

Why, oh why, don't they understand meeee, the 24 year old stubbornly clinging to a 14 year old Valley Girl accent? 

Later in the interview they finally get into an issue dear to Meghan's heart...her weight:

MCCAIN: You know, it's so funny. I was in the airport today and this guy goes hey, Meghan, kiss my fat ass. And I was like oh my gosh. That's where this has gone to.

I just -- as far as I'm concerned with what's going on with Laura Ingraham, on my end, it's over. I just -- there are nine million women in this country suffering from eating disorders. And I just -- I'm not going to be bullied around about my weight and what kind of standards I'm not fitting or what kind of people I'm happy. And I just don't think weight should ever be brought into a topic when we're talking about politics or anything.

KING: Were you surprised that Laura, who's had breast cancer, got into something that personal?

MCCAIN: I had never heard of her before until this happened. I didn't -- I'm not familiar...

Even Larry is surprised that someone supposedly involved with politics had never heard of Laura Ingraham before...

KING: You didn't know her?

MCCAIN: No. I'm not familiar with her work. But I -- I hope she doesn't do it again.

And now we come to a big decision that Meghan has made. It took a lot of soul searching as you can see:

KING: OK. You blogged earlier this month that you still were figuring out what tattoo to get to commemorate your time on the campaign trail.

Have you made a decision?

MCCAIN: I think I have. I think I'm going to get...

KING: Where are you leaning?

MCCAIN: I think I'm going to get McCain and Old English on my wrist, just to commemorate the whole experience, because I kept wanting to but I think I finally decided on what I want.

KING: Are you a tattooer?

MCCAIN: I have one. My brothers have a lot of tattoos. I love tattoos. I do.

I know, you never would have thought me, right?

But I do.

KING: No. You don't look like a tattooer.

MCCAIN: I do. I love tattoos.

KING: What do your folks think of that?

MCCAIN: I've got supportive parents, you know. They -- my mom thinks it's cute, the one I have so -- I have a little star on my foot.

The interview drones on but at this point your humble correspondent is suffering from too many vapid Valley Girl flashbacks to continue.  However, I leave with one piece of advice for Meghan McCain and her quest for fame way beyond her alloted 15 minutes. She should visit Kat Von D on LA Ink for an in-depth discussion on her important tattoo decision. A show like that would be a perfect fit for her and would be like totally rad, if not awesomely tubular.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.