Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Produce Obama Celebrity Pledge Video

Grab your barf bags. You're going to need them when viewing this video produced by Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, featuring celebrities making sacred pledges to lord Barack Obama to support a whole host of trendy causes as well as feel-good poses and posted at MySpace Celebrity. Here is how the "Presidential Pledge" is described:

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore team with MySpace Celebrity and celebrate Barack Obama's presidential inauguration in a truly inspiring way with The Presidential Pledge, a moving video directed by Demi and produced by Ashton’s Katalyst Films. Reflecting Barack’s call for change, the film features over 50 of the biggest stars in Hollywood revealing how they plan to personally participate in keeping America strong, proud and green. The clip will be presented to our new President during his inaugural celebration.

“There’s an assumption that this one man is going to take on his new job full-time and somehow wave a magic wand of change, and I don’t believe that to be true,” Ashton tells Reuters. “I think that we have to be the leaders, and that’s not celebrities--I think that we as citizens have to be leaders of the movement that we want to create.”

Need inspiration? Check out MySpace Celebrity’s exclusive premiere of The Presidential Pledge, which was directed by Demi and includes famous Americans like Hayden Panettiere, Cameron Diaz, Ashlee Simpson, Eva Longoria Parker and Red Hot Chili Peppers' Anthony Kiedis saluting the greatest country in the world!

More like saluting the greatest president for celebrities in the world. Here is a transcript of a conglomeration of Hollywood celebs making "The Presidential Pledge." And since your humble correspondent is a very minor celebrity of sorts, he will also join in on the pledge fun:

I pledge... I pledge... I pledge... to help end hunger in America... by supporting Feeding America and our local food bank... 

I pledge to help end hunger in the rest of the world by making their economies more like that in America...

I pledge... I pledge... to smile more... to laugh more ...to love  more...

I pledge to hug Leo Buscaglia more...

I pledge... to volunteer more of my time to help children battling serious illnesses... 

I pledge to not grandstand about how charitable I am...

I pledge... to be a great mother ...to be a great father... to continue working with UNICEF to make this world a better place for all of our children... to be the voice for those that have no voice...

I pledge to honor and obey Goody Gumdrops...

I pledge... I pledge... to consider myself an American, not an African-American... to always represent my country with pride, dignity, and honesty... I pledge to go to USAservice.org... to find a service project that I am passionate about...

I pledge to go to Playboy.com to find a Playmate that I am passionate about...

I pledge allegiance to the funk to the united funk of funkadelica...I pledge to never give anyone the Finger when I'm driving again... to always find the humor in everything... 

I pledge to try to find the humor in a celeb breaking his promise about not giving me the Finger while driving...

I pledge to help find the cure for Alzheimers... to care for America's elderly... to  make sure that senior citizens have access to healthcare... so that our next generation's memories will not be forgotten...

I pledge to find the cure for celebrity obnoxiousness...

I pledge to bring awareness to mental disease...  to advance stem cell research... to spread the awareness of autism... I pledge to show more love to strangers... to meet my neighbors... and find out their names... I'm going to give them a smile and ask them how I can be of service to them.

I pledge to forget how all you "wonderful" Malibu celebrities treated my friends and me like dirt whenever we went spearfishing near your sacred beachfront properties...

I pledge... I pledge... to be a better mentor to my younger sisters... to continue to be a mentor for Big Brothers and Big Sisters... I pledge... to reduce my use of plastic... by starting with using less bottled water... to plant 500 trees this year to help our planet... to be more green... to no longer use the plastic bags at the grocery store...

And speaking of plastic bags, I am going to have to reach for one right now due to extreme nausea over all this celeb self-glorification by telling us how wonderful they are.  This video goes on much longer but right now your humble correspodent is too busy with that taboo plastic bag to type out more of their pledges.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.