The most important thing to remember when reading this Berkshire Eagle article, "Making the case for Caroline Kennedy," by WAMC Northeast Public Radio CEO, Alan Chartock, is that it was not meant as satire. However, Chartock's reasons for appointing Caroline Kennedy as senator from New York come off as absolutely hilarious even though he is trying to be completely serious. So enjoy the bellylaughs from inadvertent comedian Chartock (emphasis mine):
...Respectfully, I think David Paterson would be dumb not to appoint Kennedy. Here's my reasoning: She is fabulously wealthy. Some guesstimates have her in the $500 million range. She owns a considerable chunk of Martha's Vineyard beach front, and she is one of the most popular New Yorkers.
Yeah, that is really going to appeal to people in economically troubled upstate New York. Caroline is "fabulously wealthy" and "owns a considerable chunk of Martha's Vineyard." Chartock continues with his laugh lines:
So let's just say that you were David Paterson and had to run for your own term in 2010. Wouldn't you want to run with someone who would attract a lot of voters who wanted a chance to touch a piece of history? Wouldn't you want to be the running mate of the woman whose father was a martyred president, whose uncle was a martyred Senator from New York and whose other uncle just may be the most admired man in the United States Senate? She clearly would bring both money and voters to the electoral process.
Chartock makes it sound here that by appointing Caroline Kennedy to the Senate it is like getting an antique piece of history like owning one of those gold coins from the sunken S.S. Central America.
The woman is hardly stupid. Look at the blood lines and at her law degree from Columbia and compare her to some of the lightweights in Congress, like Gary Ackerman, who have been trying to bring her down.
Hey Chartock, is Governor Paterson looking to appoint a senator or selecting a race horse based on "blood lines?" I can just picture Paterson with his fingers in Caroline's mouth checking to see the condition of her teeth. Oh, and even if Caroline is stupid it won't matter. Her money and fame can attract a top quality staff:
And, of course, let's remember that the Democrats in the Congress would love having her there. Do you really think that any senator — I mean any senator — would not take Caroline's phone calls? Do you really think that she wouldn't hire the best staff that money can buy just as her Uncle Bobby and father John did when they were in the Senate? Do you really think that the best and the brightest minds in America wouldn't leave their teaching posts at Harvard, Yale and Hunter to staff her office and give her the best advice possible?
Chartock finishes his comedy act with a warning to Governor Paterson:
Nope, if Paterson blows it, it will be the biggest mistake of his political life.
And if Paterson gives the reasons that Chartock has delivered in his inadvertent comedy routine for choosing Caroline Kennedy then that would be the biggest mistake of his political life since he would turn himself into a national laughingstock. And thanks for the laughs, Alan. Your humble correspondent has already contacted his friend, Jamie Masada of the Laugh Factory, and arranged for you to bypass the open mike audition night and go straight to a regular comedy act. Your routine will keep the audience in stitches.
—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
What?!?!?
January 5, 2009 - 10:32 ET by Long Island PeteSo if that qualifies her, then why not give the seat to Donald Trump?
Unbelieveable
January 5, 2009 - 10:33 ET by Warner Todd HustonThat was one unbelievable article, P.J.
Seriously, the case this idiot made was one based on CLASS. She's rich, she has great ancestors, she's rich, she'll be loved by other upper class twits. Oh, and shes really, really rich.
These are qualifications for a social calendar, NOT for a legislator!!!
And once again, a liberal
January 5, 2009 - 11:20 ET by motherbeltAnd once again, a liberal blurts out the truth about his values.
Princess Caroline of the House of Kennedy
January 5, 2009 - 12:44 ET by UnsaneActually, I was thinking as that she is rich, that she should be violently exterminated, and her wealth should then be evenly redistributed amoing the masses.
Isn't that what Leftists think, or does being a Princess of the House of Kennedy exempt her from that?
"THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!!! A WAR ON FREEWILL IS COMING!!!" - Nevermore, "Bittersweet Feast", from This Godless Endeavor (2005)
Don't forget
January 5, 2009 - 10:42 ET by StarAZShe used her long experience on boards to vet Richardson.
Ok, I'm confused.
January 5, 2009 - 10:45 ET by mizflame98Why is Caroline's fortune an asset to the people of NY State us while McCain was out of touch because of his wife's fortune?
Perfect Demotivator for the Obama Administration
http://www.despair.com/government.html
Simple...one's a (D) the
January 5, 2009 - 10:54 ET by taterSimple...one's a (D) the other is a (R).
www.theholyrosary.org
"There is no problem, I tell you, no matter how difficult it is, that we can not resolve by the prayer of the Holy Rosary." -Sister Lucia
Hope this ends the confusion
January 5, 2009 - 11:20 ET by legacyrepublicanMZ,
Really, it is because McCain's wife is not as rich as John Kerry's wife is these days.
Cindy's daddy only owns a bottling plant in Phoenix while Kerry's wife got her money by marrying a Heinz heir who died in a copter crash and left her all that money and homes.
Whereas in Princess Kennedy's case, she has lots of money inherited from her grandpa who made his fortune while he was bootlegging adult beverages to other elites who didn't want to play by the rules that everyone else did.
See, that makes all the difference in the world and I hope it clears up all the confusion on your part ( as well as mine ).
It makes me humble to know someone that wealthy and far, far, above me in station who never ever needs a job to make ends meet wants to work in the senate for me, a lowly middle class family man. Caroline must really care about the issues that concern me since she, herself, confronts them everyday, just like I do. \sarc
Thanks for the laugh
January 5, 2009 - 15:46 ET by DEVILDOCMOMWith all the other news I needed this view and your clarity...if only caroline cared about me, someone outside of NY. Well, I guess all I can do is hope for her on a bigger stage some day...NOT.
But, Hey... She's
January 5, 2009 - 10:47 ET by Doc_NavyBut, Hey... She's RICH!
Doc
It Doesn't Matter
January 5, 2009 - 11:00 ET by iveseenitallWhat's the difference whom the clown from N.Y. nominates. It'll be a Democratic "liberal". That's all we have to know.
BTW, New York is going down the tubes. Taxation and corruption. So what's new?
NEVER,NEVER trust a "liberal"
wonder if she'll emulate ALL their ways
January 5, 2009 - 11:03 ET by AJBWill she be sleeping with every page and intern she hires? Will she get several cabana boys? Will she uphold the longstanding Kennedy tradition of infidelity? Enquiring minds want to know!
There are plenty of dead
January 5, 2009 - 11:04 ET by SickofLibsThere are plenty of dead Kennedys, but there is NO SUCH THING as a "martyred" Kennedy.
"The woman is hardly stupid." Correct. She has deftly removed all doubt about the "hardly" part.
And this bloodline thing - ask Jimmy The Greek how that went.
Bloodlines?
January 5, 2009 - 12:48 ET by okiehawk44We know who the mother was, but doesn't she look more like one of Bobby's kids?
She's Rich
January 5, 2009 - 11:04 ET by GothampcIt wouldn't be so hard to swallow if she had made her own fortune. But her money is inherited family wealth that her grandfather made through illegal activities.
Goodbye America
January 5, 2009 - 11:05 ET by DontFeedTheTrollsCan you believe it? 21st Century America and we have (s)elected officials based on popularity and bloodlines. This isn't decline? Is this what 'The Greatest Generation' (and those who went before) fought for? Our whiny nanny state lovers will destroy us all.
D
Keep the ILLEGALS out, join NumbersUSA to send fr faxes to your reps.
limitations
January 5, 2009 - 11:39 ET by DragonsbreathAs a wise man once said " a man has to know his limitations"
She is ya know.. rich, ya know, royalty, ya know, has not killed anyone in their car that we know of, ya know, such a, ya know, classy speaker, ya know?And to cinch it a rich D. ya know..so she understands as well a the messiah and Hillery how the common folks feel.
“We Americans were d@mn tired of being thought of as dumb, by the rest of the world. So we went to
the polls in November and removed all doubt.”
$ 500,000,000!
January 5, 2009 - 11:50 ET by iveseenitallWow! The womanizing, stock-swindling, booze running, poltically corrupt Joe left that group truly well off. But you'd think with all that water near their house he'd have taught Teddy how to swim. Sad. All the Kennedys are sickening hypocrites, IMO.
NEVER,NEVER trust a "liberal"
That's just plain dumb!
January 5, 2009 - 11:36 ET by CobraMan"Do you really think that she wouldn't hire the best staff that money
can buy just as her Uncle Bobby and father John did when they were in
the Senate?"
Sure, she would. She'll hire the best staff that our tax dollars can buy! She wouldn't spend HER money, she'd spend the TAXPAYER'S money, ya dolt, just likeTeddy does today, to the tune of 1 to 2 million dollars a year!
Obama: My job is above my pay grade
You know, I used much of
January 5, 2009 - 11:47 ET by thebutlerdiditYou know, I used much of this same criteria when purchasing my chihuahuas. Unfortunately, 2 of them are so "well-bred" that they are "in-bred," and basically retarded. Oh, wait, now I see. That's what's happened here! And in West Virginia and Kentucky this is considered a bad thing. I guess it's o.k. if you are fabulously wealthy! I am sure those folks that don't live in the chichi neighborhoods in NYC will also find her to be droll and amusing.
You know, I used much of
January 5, 2009 - 11:49 ET by thebutlerdiditYou know, I used much of this same criteria when purchasing my chihuahuas. Unfortunately, 2 of them are so "well-bred" that they are "in-bred," and basically retarded. Oh, wait, now I see. That's what's happened here! And in West Virginia and Kentucky this is considered a bad thing. I guess it's o.k. if you are fabulously wealthy! I am sure those folks that don't live in the chichi neighborhoods in NYC will also find her to be droll and amusing.
whose other uncle just may
January 5, 2009 - 11:50 ET by rimskywhose other uncle just may be the most admired man in the United States Senate?
The heck! Based on what?
but
January 5, 2009 - 12:29 ET by AJBHe's killed more people with his car than I've killed with my handgun!
Bloodlines and Wealth
January 5, 2009 - 11:55 ET by CobraManHere's another woman chosen for office according to her bloodlines and wealth.
Obama: My job is above my pay grade
Ah yes
January 5, 2009 - 11:57 ET by BlondeUnfortunately, we do not have a hereditary monarchy here....too bad the liberal dems can't seem to remember that.
They're Progressives, remember?
January 5, 2009 - 12:01 ET by CobraMan"Unfortunately, we do not have a hereditary monarchy here"
They're Progressives, remember? They do everything they can to bring it back.
Obama: My job is above my pay grade
Riiight....change!
January 5, 2009 - 12:02 ET by BlondeChange just like all those Clinton re-treads.
Gotcha.
Progressive march
January 5, 2009 - 12:06 ET by CobraManIt's the Progressive march, one step forward and two steps back.
Obama: My job is above my pay grade
Monarchies
January 5, 2009 - 12:47 ET by UnsaneHell, some posters here seem VERY comfortable with the idea of a hereditary monarchy!
Never mind we fought a war back in the 1700s to end that sort of thing...
"THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!!! A WAR ON FREEWILL IS COMING!!!" - Nevermore, "Bittersweet Feast", from This Godless Endeavor (2005)
Not Me!! No more
January 5, 2009 - 12:52 ET by Scuba DudeNot Me!!
No more Clinton's, Kennedy's, Bushes or Obama's!!!!!!
Who here supports a hereditary monarchy? If you do, please hasten yourself to England.
Did you see celator's post
January 5, 2009 - 12:56 ET by BlondeAbout the water cooler whisperings at Foggy Bottom?
Apparently Hillary wants to appoint Chelsea as an Undersecretary. Nice work if you can get it....I suppose one must be horse-faced and have a mother with a rear end only a pantsuit would love.
Enough of these political families already!
You can forget that, Chelsea
January 5, 2009 - 14:57 ET by thebutlerdiditYou can forget that, Chelsea is being groomed now, and so is Biden's son. As for the Bushes, I like Jeb Bush, he did a great job with Florida.
tbdi
January 5, 2009 - 15:13 ET by BlondeDon't forget the foxy George P Bush, son of Jeb (hell...since we're now selecting candidates based on their looks/bloodlines/bankbooks....why not!).
I'm truly hoping Jeb will run for the Senate seat, soon to be vacated by the RINO Mel Martinez.
And while I'm at it, oh how I hope Micheal Steele gets elected to the RNC chair (another seat vacated by the RINO Mel).
What we HAD here once
January 5, 2009 - 13:00 ET by NL207What we HAD here once was limited government. Since the time of FDR, that has been swept to the wayside. I would ask this question: "Who would govern better: mob rule via the ballot box or Edward Plantagenet?"
If nether governance is limited, the difference in form is purely sematics.
1700s
January 5, 2009 - 14:44 ET by cassratSorry unsane!
We fought the war because of 'taxation without representation' among other things.
After the war they wanted to install Washington as King but, he said 'no thanks'. At that point they appointed him President.
Don't try to teach a Liberal to think! It wastes your time and annoys the Liberal
Sorry!
January 17, 2009 - 10:57 ET by Unsanesorry cassrat!
When John Adams proposed a monarchical solution, he was laughed at by the rest of the electoral college (IIRC, it has been years since I read McCullogh's John Adams, an outstanding book).
"Taxation without Representation" in Parliament was the earliest grievance. More followed. But eventually, this led to a break with monarchy.
And even IF they badly wanted to give Washington the title of King, it was - and is - expressly prohibited in the Constitution, by way of the proscribing of the government from granting titles of nobility.
"THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!!! THE HOLOCAUST OF THOUGHT IS DAWNING!!!" - Nevermore, "Bittersweet Feast", from This Godless Endeavor (2005)
Boy, and i thought it could
January 5, 2009 - 12:22 ET by EdhenryBoy, and i thought it could not get worse. They aren't just out of touch, but ignorant.
By the way, with all the NPR commies getting paid $300K +, do not donate to Public Broadcasting. Buy a better $75 coffee mug
When to donate to NPR
January 5, 2009 - 12:54 ET by UnsaneI might donate to NPR!
The day they stop getting government money along with PBS...
(And who knows? Fully subjecting PBS and NPR to the whims of donors might actually force them to pay more attention to their audiences for a change...)
"THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!!! A WAR ON FREEWILL IS COMING!!!" - Nevermore, "Bittersweet Feast", from This Godless Endeavor (2005)
"...and you're no Jack Kennedy"
January 5, 2009 - 12:30 ET by AuVox<<She is fabulously wealthy. Some guesstimates have her in the $500 million range. She owns a considerable chunk of Martha's Vineyard beach front, and she is one of the most popular New Yorkers.>>
Sounds to me more like reasons the pampered and clueless elite who roam the Society Pages would give to justify an invitation to one of their Palm Beach or Hamptons parties.
I'm confoosed.
January 5, 2009 - 12:49 ET by R D HelmI thought that the Proletariat Radio crowd frowned on the wealthy. After all, did they not all make their money by screwing the average joe?
-Dave
“Them that’s going get on the wagon. Them that ain’t get out of the way.” -Because enough is enough.
Run Caroline run -- in the Kentucky Derby
January 5, 2009 - 13:08 ET by Jack BauerIf equininity is the criterion, why not appoint Sarah Jessica Parker?
She's one of the biggest horse faces around -- and has excellent withers.
OMG Jack...."Equininity"?
January 5, 2009 - 13:30 ET by BlondeYou've got me rolling here, fella.
As for equininity....you have a couple of those on your side of the pond. But....I gotta do it:
Prince Charles & the rest of the Krauts of Windsor
Camilla Parker Bowles (swaybacked, though)
Chelsea Clinton (see celator's post...soon to be UnderSecState?)...so she gets double equininity, for that running pedigree...oh wait, appointed pedigree like Caroline, whatever!
Michelle O...not exactly equininity...more like lemoninity (as in sucking on)...but she has the backside the size of a quarterhorse.
Prince Charles & the
January 5, 2009 - 13:49 ET by Jack BauerBut I am a REPUBLICAN -- watching centuries of royal inter-breeding will do that for you!
Glad you like equininity -- if it doesn't exist as a word, remember where you first heard it.
I spose....
January 5, 2009 - 14:00 ET by BlondeCenturies of royal inter-breeding...the only reason why Wills & Harry are so much better looking than the rest of the horse-faces (oops, should have excluded them from my list) is because of the new blood their mom brought.
Same with Waity Katy.
And I shall give you a h/t when I use it, here's one of my creation, "obamadiefication".
<edit> I'm thanking my lucky stars Camilla is too old to have kids...or we'd have to make up a new word. Maybe clydesdale.
Ninny
January 5, 2009 - 21:23 ET by nkviking75Glad you like equininity -- if it doesn't exist as a word, remember where you first heard it.
When it comes to Caroline, emphasize the "ninny".
Welcome to the era of unity, you racist!
Like this?? You must go
January 5, 2009 - 15:04 ET by thebutlerdiditLike this?? You must go look at these, they are great.
http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/
SJP used to actually be
January 5, 2009 - 15:09 ET by motherbeltSJP used to actually be pretty a long time ago, when she first started out...she was on a program about lawyers (I forget the name of it) and I liked her.
Then she just got thinner and thinner and more bony and sunken looking. Now she looks like every other stick-figure actress.
And I wish someone would tell these scarecrows that showing off one's bony sternum is not cleavage, and it's NOT attractive!!
SJP does NOT look like a horse
January 5, 2009 - 16:55 ET by choselife3xHorses are BEAUTIFUL.
In order to be pro-choice, one must first be born. Ah, the irony.
Hey, I was gonna say that....
January 5, 2009 - 13:05 ET by lotrWhatever JFK, God rest his soul, had in terms of political savvy, charisma and charm, his posterity has not been likewise endowed.
Did anyone hear that interview? Now that was hilarious. She sounded, you know, like, a total ditz, and you know, like, a complete buffoon. Totally.
It was a joke, and should've spelled the end of any aspiring career in politics. It was far worse than Howard Dean's "I Have a Scream" speech, IMO. And it wasn't just the "you knows" (although they were damning) -- it was that the entire long-winded interview was devoid of any meaning and was at a 6th Grade reading level. A computer could be programmed to sputter the same inane nonsense using a random number generator.
And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. -- Edgar Allan Poe
Pretty much every pol on
January 5, 2009 - 15:10 ET by thebutlerdiditPretty much every pol on either side agrees that Kennedy was a very savvy, intelligent man. But to say that you are brilliant because of your sperm contributor is ridiculous. And to going to the best schools makes you a brain. I thought when Bush went to the ivy league schools he was an idiot?
governor paterson has a list
January 5, 2009 - 13:13 ET by larry on LIand in the end will make the kennedy" princess" his political duty.
New York State
January 5, 2009 - 14:05 ET by 1611LilacLadyKennedy, Clinton, Schlossberger - - carpetbaggers welcomed in New York State. Instead of the Motto: Empire State, it should be Carpetbagger State!
And I'm a lifelong resident living in Western New York . . .
Isaiah 5:20a Woe unto them who call evil good, and good evil. . . KJV
Sad, but true. And
January 6, 2009 - 09:33 ET by lotrSad, but true.
And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. -- Edgar Allan Poe
I found it interesting...
January 5, 2009 - 14:25 ET by Secret Conservative...that Caroline gave a reasonably inarticulate interview and was lauded for having the "common touch" while a matter of WEEKS ago Sarah Palin made a few inarticulate comments and was vilified by the same people for being an idiot with an IQ of 50 and completely unfit for ANY public office.
I have to admit, though, that I was very surprised to see the NYT print the transcript of that interview unedited, considering how bad it made Caroline look. You can be sure THAT won't happen again! In the future, all interviews with Lady Caroline will be carefully scripted and edited prior to publication to make her appear to have at least an 8th grade education.
A good time to buy
January 5, 2009 - 16:09 ET by ahusserTeleprompter stock. Between Caroline and Obama the stock should go throught the roof.
Change: When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles. From a Poster
Ashley Dupré for Senator!
January 5, 2009 - 15:31 ET by DanSchwartzHere's my reasoning for endorsing Ashley Dupré for Senator:
In fact you could easily come up with a top ten or twenty reasons list as to why Ashley Dupré is more qualified than Caroline Kennedy.
Where do we sign the petition?
(Hat tip: Photoonist on Lucianne)
Please visit my Home Page at http://users.snip.ne...
Caroline Kennedy vs Andrew Cuomo? Hmm!
January 5, 2009 - 15:35 ET by Gary HallCaroline Kennedy vs Andrew Cuomo? Hmm!
Alan Chartock also brushed by:
Andrew Cuomo. Clinton's HUD man. Well, what about Cuomo? New York's "Village Voice" offered up a bit of background information a few months back. In Andrew Cuomo and Fannie and Freddie - How the youngest Housing and Urban Development secretary in history gave birth to the mortgage crisis, we find out why Andrew Cuomo would be a perfect fit with the Democrat majority in the Senate:
One might ask, "why is Caroline even in the running?"
(;~> gary
Caroline, Gary, Caroline
January 5, 2009 - 15:41 ET by BlondeSheesh!
Spell her name right already. :D
Actually...the reason I'm bugged is because, well, you know what my name is, and my little sister's name was Carolyn.....but of course, we were "named" after the Kennedy's.....AS IF!
My mom still gets burned over it....all these years later.
LOL.
sheesh, Blonde
January 5, 2009 - 15:56 ET by Gary HallHey, at least I got Cuomo correct, didn't I? But thanks for the "facts." Oh, and for the public exposure.
Now - about the context of the message. What do you think - should not the general public which has been exposed to so much bs from the MSM on what the major causes of this current economic meltdown, be made aware of what caused the crisis? Andrew Cuomo and his role should be on the front page of every major newspaper in the country and at the top of the network news. Few conversations should take place on main-street without the Cuomo's name being a party to the subject. Bill Clinton and Cuomo should be dragged in front of a congressional hearing and grilled. Oh, make my day! hee hee. gary
Sorry, Gar....
January 5, 2009 - 16:11 ET by BlondeThose pesky facts.
And just to make it tabloid fun.....Cuomo vs. Kennedy....there's a bit of a divorce war thingy going on, too, LOL.
Kennedy's vs. Cuomo's....hmmm...make MY day! hee hee.
P.S. They ALL ought to be dragged before a Congressional Hearing and grilled like fish.
Princess Caroline Rich?
January 5, 2009 - 18:29 ET by slickwillie2001If she has all that money, why can't she get better teeth?
Why not a Real Princess.
January 5, 2009 - 23:08 ET by jarrett.edwardsWhy don't we just ask one of the Real Royal Princesses from Monaco. After all they are half American, fabulously wealthy, and the children of a parent who had a tragic death. Also, I have seen interviews with them and they seem to be able to answer questions, so maybe they are too qualified. Heck as shallow as most Democrats seem to be concerning this appointment Disney better lock the Magic Kingdom or they will kidnap them all and put them in the Senate, except Pocahontas we know how Sen Reid feels about non-white Senators.
I've suspected for a long time that the left want a nobility.
January 6, 2009 - 08:50 ET by c5thenThis just proves it beyond any doubt. He is talking about her as if he is some European throwback discussing the Princess and heir to the throne. To me this completely disqualifies Caroline from the office (as if she was qualified in the first place).
Hey, I got the wrong "CHANGE"!
Alan Keyes / Sarah Palin - 2012