Who says Ralph Nader doesn't have a sense of humor? Here is a video of Nader in a Hamlet like discourse with Cardozo the Parrot about why his presidential campaign isn't getting much media coverage this year. Well, I can tell Ralph why he isn't getting media coverage. Because the MSM fears he will take votes away from Obama this year and don't want a repeat of 2000 where many blamed Nader for siphoning enough votes away from Al Gore in Florida to cause him to lose the election. However, let us read Ralph Nader in his own words as he pours out his campaign coverage woes to Cardozo the Parrot:

(Cardozo the Parrot squawking)

Thank you Cardozo for keeping me company. It's time for meditation away from the frantic pace of campaigning in the fifty states. You know, Cardozo,  one of the reasons why I'm running for president is that I'm tired. All those years where the Democrats and Republicans just keep parroting the corporate party line.

(Cardozo the Parrot squawks again)

Oh, I don't mean any disrespect.  So Cardozo I decided to run for president. And all of a sudden all of these reporters I've known and commentators and editors. They just froze. They froze, Cardozo. National television has just blacked out the Nader-Gonzalez campaign. I don't know what I have to do. I know they cover animal stories all the time on television. Even network news there's always an animal story. In Washington, D.C. they just go crazy when the pandas start getting close to one another at the zoo. Sometimes I think I'd get more media if I just dressed up as a panda and just went to the zoo, Cardozo.

(Cardozo squawks again)

I know you don't like zoos. They're just too lowbrow for you.  Why should they cover all the Americans who are dying and getting sick because they don't have healthcare. They have hazardous workplaces and they're breathing toxic air. Why should they cover that? Sometimes I think I have to dress up as a panda and go over to the zoo. And cast some amorous glances at female pandas. 

(Cardozo whistles)

What do you think?  Think that's stretching it a bit? To be or not to be...a panda.

I have a suggestion for Ralph Nader. Just dress up like Ross Perot and you will be immediately invited on Larry King and get tons of media coverage. Why? Because then you will be perceived as a threat to John McCain.

But wait...THERE'S MORE as Ron Popeil would say. For sitting through the incredibly bizarre Ralph Nader soliloquy with Cardozo the Parrot, I will reward you with this creepy but surreal RedState Update video  in which Ralph Nader, speaking to Jackie & Dunlap, introduces a new political concept: "anal flutter." 

It sure caused your humble correspondent to have a Beavis & Butthead moment: Heh! Heh! He said "anal." Heh! Heh!

—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.