The Titanic has hit an iceberg and is sinking. Not to worry, just paint the lifeboats with a new color scheme and things will improve. As ridiculous as that sounds, it is not much different than the proposal of the Tribune Company Chief Innovation Officer, Lee Abrams, who proposed changing the color of Los Angeles Times vans:
Being too close to it. LAT has about 20 vans...but they're all Black? Hmmm. Maybe they should be painted in LAT colors. There ARE more than a few commuters driving around down there.
Apparently Abrams thinks basic black is not exciting enough but he seems to love the color green according to his internal blog post about changes at the Los Angeles Times obtained by LA Observed:
...They use soy based ink and recycled paper. Hmmm...maybe they should be bragging about that on every page as LA is the home of green.
Yeah, that should do the trick for turning around the problems of the Los Angeles Times. Forget about addressing such issues as biased reporting or using incorrect facts as has been chronicled extensively in NewsBusters. Just change the color scheme of the vans and boring their readers by endlessly bragging about being green over and over again. More comedy gold is provided by Abrams in his psychobabble about attracting "cult" and "fringe" readers:
Blowing up Newspapers in the name of change? NO! as with most papers I've talked to, there's a fear of blowing off the existing core in an effort to reach new readers. NO! Firstly, it’s all about accepting what a newspapers "natural" audience is. 50+? Fine. Now, lets own ALL of them. 100% share. Complete and total domination. That's the idea. And...Funny thing, by re-igniting this 'natural' audience, lower demos will follow....but not by TRYING too hard to reach them. I call it cult and fringe. Cult is your natural reader aka core...
Abrams comedy act continues unimpeded by any suggestion of substantial change in the Los Angeles Times. Here are a few more of his comedy highlights:
...my point here is that the LAT like most papers DOES this stuff...but it's a mystery due to 1938 navigation and look. Bring out the 2x4. It's WAR out there.
...The content is there. As with all of our papers, the content is there. It's amazing. In LA they have some star columnists. Now---how do we turn them into print celebrities?
...On Eye stimulation, I think some of our greatest assets are our designers. We gotta LIBERATE them. In LA there's a guy who did some redesigns of the Business page. WOW! It was amazing...
Thanks again for the comedy act, Lee. Please continue to ignore the real problems of the Los Angeles Times so you can keep us roaring with laughter over your cosmetic solutions such as repainting the news vans.
—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
GOOD GOOD
May 7, 2008 - 10:09 ET by DelsaGOOD.
I could care less about the LAT's or the NYT'S or any of the green left wing rags!
Going green
May 7, 2008 - 10:17 ET by Dr_LibertyAt least the makers of green, soybean paint will get a cash payout before the ship goes down!
And I wonder what Abrams' carbon footprint is ... he's looking a little chunky there. Perhaps a few less cheeseburgers and a few more soy burgers are in order.
<insert witty signature here>
Paint 'em Red
May 7, 2008 - 10:27 ET by jefflebowskiRed would be more in line with their socialist idealology! Liberals just can't figure it out. May they all crash and burn. I subscribed to the Dallas Morning News for about 3 months. I got sick of reading about the latest rapper and every story seemed to give the "African American" point of view or the tired old white people are racist.
Every time they would call me trying to get me to subscribe, I would tell them that. They stopped calling.
Occupational hazard
May 7, 2008 - 12:16 ET by Rackie"...he's looking a little chunky there."
I read his stuff. He's must toke up before he writes and he gets the munchies.
Paint your wagon
May 7, 2008 - 11:09 ET by CobraMan"Abrams comedy act continues unimpeded by any suggestion of substantial change in the Los Angeles Times."
Of course he's not going to suggest a substantial change as that would invarable lead to him losing his job.
"Now---how do we turn them into print celebrities?"
Ah, well, we could, ah, maybe try changing, ah, no, forget that, ah, well, let me think abou it for moment, ah, Hay I know! Let's paint them green! That's a great idea! Arn't you glad you hired me?
Another perfect example of
May 7, 2008 - 11:14 ET by Clear thinkerAnother perfect example of liberal thinking!
"Abstain from McCain"
The vans for the Minneapolis
May 7, 2008 - 11:18 ET by ForeverOnTheRightThe vans for the Minneapolis StarTribune are green, have been for years. I don't know if it had anything to do with Wellstone's green and white theme. The "Red"starTribune may be on the brink of bankruptcy, that’s been the news lately here in the People’s Republic of Minnesota (sarcasm off). Yeah, that would be good riddance. Perhaps painting your van green is a white flag of surrender, signaling their eventual demise? Or is Green is the new Red, as in socialism/communism. Sad, I like the color. I hope the St. Paul Proletariat (Pioneer) Press is next.
Wow ,how long has Ron Jeremy....
May 7, 2008 - 12:08 ET by connmanhad this new gig at the LAT anyway?
This town needs an enema! - The Joker
Hey connman
May 7, 2008 - 13:17 ET by Mica the MagnificentExactly what I was thinking .
LOL
uh, a Chief Innovation Officer??
May 7, 2008 - 13:55 ET by mom_roxHmmm, okay, it hasn't been THAT long since I worked for a corporation, but we never had a Chief Innovation Officer.
Essentially, innovation was left up to each employee, and new substantive ideas were recognized and rewarded.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
- George Bernard Shaw, 1944
socialist elitism in action
May 7, 2008 - 14:37 ET by wizardjrWhy not? If you need innovation get an innovation expert to command it. Of course it will work as well as the Communist central planning committees or the good old USSR.
I think the general public is a bunch of kids with their fingers in their ears and eyes on the ground. That way they don't have to be bothered and distracted from important stuff like Oprah and Jerry. However, even the rubes are done with this lame stream stupidity.
Apparently there is hope.
Chief Innovation Officer?
May 7, 2008 - 17:36 ET by geoff.galeD'yathink that the fact that they pay someone big bucks to sit in the "C-Suite" (that wing of the offices with the "big" people like the CEO, COO, CFO, etc) and come up with lame ideas is symptomatic of the problems the LAT has as an organisation? They clearly don't know how to run an effective organisation especially during challenging times.
CIO, my patootie!
BTW, that resemblance to Ron Jeremy only lacks the thick coat of fur that the "Hedgehog" carries.
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
- Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)
www.conservativeboot...
What a gig
May 7, 2008 - 14:44 ET by greenfairieThe man cannot even write well and he's probably making a lot more bank than I am.
sanctuary city
May 7, 2008 - 22:50 ET by Jerry MackThe lat has been promoting LA as a sanctuary city for years. They continually support left wingers for all city elected positions. The only hope that they have for survival is to start publishing in spanish.
why not Jerry?
May 7, 2008 - 22:59 ET by candanceIf it's good enough for the GOP then it can't be all that bad.
Press 2 for English...coming to a telephone near you.