British Yachtsman Who Counted On Global Warming to Cross Arctic Now Trapped by Ice

In one of the most hilarious cases of being tripped up by dubious scientific hype, British yachtsman Adrian Flanagan attempted to be the first to sail across the arctic north of Russia. He based his hope on the fact that he believed in the Global Warming propaganda that the arctic is rapidly losing its ice thus making his trip possible. One little problem. Cold cruel reality has crushed the Global Warming hype and now Flanagan's boat is trapped by ice in the arctic. To add to the irony, Flanagan who seems to be destined to go down in history as Wrong Way Flanagan, is now pleading with Russian authorities to provide him with the services of a nuclear powered icebreaker to get him out of his embarrassing situation.

As recently as August 18, Wrong Way Flanagan's hopes were still high that he could sail across the arctic north of Russia. Moscow News announced his trip in an article ironically titled, Global Warming is Here.

A British yachtsman, Adrian Flanagan, is due shortly to head off from Chukotka to attempt the first solo sail through the Northern Sea Route.

While one Chukotka port official described this as "kamikaze," Flanagan too is optimistic. Contacted by AFP he said that the ice looked set to recede at least as far as in 2005, which was a record year. But while some see opportunities, others are already counting the costs of climate change.

Flash forward to today and we can see the sticky situation that Wrong Way Flanagan put himself into by placing his faith in Global Warming to clear his path in the arctic as chronicled by Australia's Herald Sun in an article with the sobering title of Ice blocks British solo sailor:

A BRITISH yachtsman attempting the first solo Arctic sea passage across northern Russia was examining his options after heavier than expected ice blocked his route, his manager said.

Adrian Flanagan is discussing with Russian authorities the possibility of using a nuclear-powered icebreaker to lift his boat out of the water and carry it round the most icebound stretch of Russia's Northern Sea Route.

...He had hoped that his 11m reinforced yacht would be able to get all the way to Europe due to lighter ice conditions observed in recent years, thought to be a result of global warming.

But after making his way through the Chukchi, East Siberian and Laptev Seas, Flanagan has been forced to a halt by heavy ice at the most difficult point in the route, the Vilkitsky Strait.

...Flanagan is now anchored by an island just east of the Vilkitsky Strait, still hoping for the ice to clear but working on the backup plan, his manager said.

She described the yachtsman's mood as “pretty fed-up”.

Besides the arctic ice, Wrong Way Flanagan now appears to have another problem. Remember those polar bears that Global Warming activists were warning us were endangered? Well, it now seems that the tables have been turned and those endangered polar bears are now endangering Flanagan:

Ostrov Peschanyy is a bleak, featureless island that is little more than a sand spit rising a few metres above sea level. It's a resting place for walrus and Western Arctic Marine Operations HQ have advised Adrian to keep a careful watch for polar bears hunting walrus there.

So as Wrong Way Flanagan, who has turned himself into a Global Laughingstock on the altar of Global Warming, remains trapped in the arctic perhaps someone would be kind enough send him a copy of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth for him to pass the time while waiting for the ice to melt and for the endangered polar bears to go away.

UPDATE: Charles Henrickson, who is a Lutheran pastor in the St. Louis area as well as a master of song parody, has written The Ballad of Flanagan's Ice to the tune of The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle:

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a stupid schmuck
Who thought he'd sail through Arctic seas
Without his getting stuck

His name is Wrong Way Flanagan
A name that Nature dealt
He bought the global warming crap
And bet the ice would melt
And bet the ice would melt

The weather started getting cold
The ice began to form
And soon Wrong Way began to see
The globe is not that warm
The globe is not that warm

It's been an Inconvenient Tour
And Wrong Way's paid the price
His yacht is stuck in dire straits
Conditions, not so nice
The polar bears are hungry too
Here on Flanagan's Ice!

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.