It seems that the Huffington Post has more than its share of raving moonbats. On the heels of Lawrence O'Donnel ranting about how torturing dogs is no worse than fishing, we have HuffPo blogger, Martin Lewis, engaged in a "Seven Days In May" fantasy involving a military coup against President Bush. Lewis calls himself a humorist but perhaps his greatest feat of humor, although unintentional, is the rationale for a military coup he gives in General Pace, You Can Save the US - by Arresting Bush for "Conduct Unbecoming."

General Peter Pace
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
400 Joint Staff Pentagon
Washington, D.C. 20318-0400

How thoughtful of you to provide the FULL zip code, Martin. Now let us continue with your unintentional comedy act:

Dear General Pace,

I note with admiration your courage in making clear your private concerns about the safety of the US military and the longterm danger to US national security caused by the President's stubborn refusal to acknowledge the quagmire in Iraq.

Though you are Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the President's principal military advisor - President Bush has shown his disdain for your honesty and wisdom. Though you are a decorated Vietnam war hero - who has served his nation honorably for four decades - the President is dispensing with your services. You have one month left in your position before you are tossed out by the President.

President Bush is going to ignore your advice. Just as he has ignored the advice of other Generals who have had the courage to respectfully point out how terribly wrong he is in respect of the Iraq War and the safety of the US military he is sworn to protect. Highly-decorated colleagues of yours such as General Anthony Zinni (Commander in Chief of U.S. Central Command), General Eric Shinseki (Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army) and General John Abizaid (Commander of the U.S. Central Command).

General Pace - you have the power to fulfill your responsibility to protect the troops under your command. Indeed you have an obligation to do so.

Stand by as Martin Lewis delivers the punch line (emphasis his):

You can relieve the President of his command.

However, Lewis has a caveat. It is only just a partial coup:

Not of his Presidency. But of his military role as Commander-In-Chief.

What next? Have another partial birth coup in which the president can stay in office but is stripped of his power to veto bills or to pardon turkeys at Thanksgiving? And what about the constitution? Is such a coup even permissible? Not to worry. Genius Lewis thinks he has found a set of rules that trumps the constitution:

You simply invoke the Uniform Code Of Military Justice.

Perhaps in your native Britain the UCMJ trumps the constitution but it doesn't exactly work that way here in the USA. However, you're on a comedy roll so go for it:

The United States Code: Title 10, Subtitle A, Part II, Chapter 47, Subchapter X, Section 934. Article 134 reads:

"Though not specifically mentioned in this chapter, all disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces, all conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces, and crimes and offenses not capital, of which persons subject to this chapter may be guilty, shall be taken cognizance of by a general, special, or summary court-martial, according to the nature and degree of the offense, and shall be punished at the discretion of that court."

Article 133 reads:

"Any commissioned officer, cadet, or midshipman who is convicted of conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman shall be punished as a court-martial may direct."

Yeah, that's just the ticket. Toss over 200 years of constitutional law out the window because some British "humorist" misinterprets the fine print of a subservient document. The funniest part is yet to come where Lewis, from his safe confines in Los Angeles, assures General Pace that the coup that is not really a coup is all perfectly legal. So don't worry, General, constitutional expert Lewis guarantees that everything will be hunky dory if you just strip the President of his commander in chief duties:

A gentleman is understood to have a duty to avoid dishonest acts, displays of indecency, lawlessness, dealing unfairly, indecorum, injustice, or acts of cruelty.

To be crystal clear - I am NOT advocating or inciting you to undertake any illegal act, insurrection, mutiny, putsch or military coup. You are an honorable patriotic man.

I am NOT advocating or inciting you to interfere with any of the civilian duties of the President. That would not be a legal action by you.

However you have the legal responsibility - under Article 134 of the Uniform Code Of Military Justice - to protect the troops under your command by relieving the President of his MILITARY command.

If you have reason to believe that the President is responsible for "disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces" and for "conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces, and crimes and offenses not capital" then you have the obligation to act.

In addition to relieving him of his command as Commander-In-Chief, you also have authority to place the President under MILITARY arrest.

Will General Pace also have the authority to place inadvertent humorist, Martin Lewis, under psychiatric observation at the nearest Funny Farm? Lewis is still far from done with his list of trivial absurdities used as justification of arresting and stripping the President of his constitutional powers:

Article 7 of the Uniform Code Of Military Justice specifically says:

(b) Any person authorized under regulations governing the armed forces to apprehend persons subject to this Code may do so upon reasonable belief that an offense has been committed and that the person apprehended committed it.

(c) All officers, warrant officers, petty officers, and noncommissioned officers shall have authority to quell all quarrels, frays, and disorders among persons subject to this Code and to apprehend persons subject to this Code who take part in the same.

Wait a moment, Martin! Reading section c of article 7 of the UCMJ that you provided it seems that any sergeant can arrest President Bush. Why put all your chips on General Pace? Find just one NCO to buy into you laughable rationale and it is a done deal.

Lewis, then performs a comedic finale with a plea to General Pace to save us all from the EVIL Bush Regime:

I understand that it would not be an action to undertake lightly.

In all your 39 years of service you have shown total loyalty to the chain of command.

However, given the current imperilment of US troops, and the "Conduct Unbecoming Of An Officer And A Gentleman" of this President - you have a greater responsibility to your nation, your code of honor and to the US Constitution.

I wish you well as you prepare to undertake the most heroic action of your distinguished career.

General Pace - please save the US.

Respectfully yours,

Martin Lewis

I have an even better idea, Martin. Citizen's arrest. I have carefully reviewed the traffic code for the District of Columbia and it turns out that if anybody is involved in a moving violation, he is subject to citation. Since the presidential motorcade has on several occasions gone through red lights in the District, it is your obligation, Martin, to arrest President Bush for violating the D.C. traffic code. Now you wouldn't be able to remove him from office but it would enable you to keep Bush from performing his duties as President while within the jurisdiction of Washington, D.C..

Martin Lewis - please save the US.

Respectfully yours,

P.J. Gladnick

UPDATE: Martin Lewis, after making a complete fool of himself, is now claiming that he was JUST KIDDING!!! Yeah, riiiiight! This reminds me of when Sheryl Crowe advocated using just one toilet paper square per sitting in order to help the environment. When she became a laughingstock as a result, she then claimed she was JUST KIDDING!!! That excuse rang as false as Martin Lewis's pathetic explanation. Perhaps Lewis, after finding out that the president is not subject to the Universal Code of Military Justice while he is subject to deportation due to advocating sedition, did a quick reversal and pretended it was satire all along. In any event, it won't be a joke to Lewis if he becomes the object of deportation hearings to send him back to his native Britain as a result of advocating an illegal military coup. When Lewis is sent on his way, he will find out we are NOT KIDDING!!!

—P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.