Bill Maher Nominates Hillary Clinton For Pope

As NewsBusters has been reporting, America's media are ready to coronate Hillary Clinton as the next president.

On HBO's Real Time Friday, host Bill Maher went several steps further nominating Mrs. Clinton as the next Pope (video follows with transcript and commentary): 

BILL MAHER: No one can fault you for losing faith in an organization that won't even allow women as priests, because, the reasoning goes, Jesus didn't have any female apostles. Yeah, you remember the Last Supper, a total sausage party. The fact is that any enterprise that excludes women almost always descends into sexual deviancy - at least at my bathhouse.

Whether it's the Boy Scouts, the Penn State locker room, or on Wall Street, sooner or later a bunch of innocent folks get f--ked. Show me any culture that's traditionally hostile to women and I will show you a culture that is screwed up. Like the Taliban. Like our military, with its enormous rape problem. And like the Catholic Church.

This church needs a woman pope. Hillary Clinton just finished up her stint as Secretary of State. Oh yeah, maybe Pope Hillary could clean up the church. If there's anyone who knows how to handle a guy who can't keep his hands to himself, it's her.

And if Hillary won't do it, Pope-rah! Jesus turned water into wine. Oprah whines about retaining water. Plus, she's practiced at hearing confessions, and, of course, she's celibate.

And if she won't do it, I have one more candidate. No, not a woman, but someone born and raised Catholic. Yes, of course, I'm talking about me. Why me? Well, I have this hat. Plus, everybody's always known I have absolutely no interest in children whatsoever. And, of course, I can provide my own white puff of smoke.

Honestly, all I can muster is a resounding "Oy!"