Mike Huckabee Demonstrates How Politically Correct, Violent Rhetoric-Free Speech Works
Mike Huckabee on Sunday demonstrated to his Fox News audience how politically correct, violent rhetoric-free speech can work on television if you try hard enough.
He also showed how absurd it will be if the liberal media reaction to the Tucson shootings goes too far (video follows with transcript and commentary):
MIKE HUCKABEE, HOST: Fox News prides itself on being fair and balanced. But in keeping with the new tenderness of speech, I want my show to go even further. I want us to be so fair as to be unfair. I want us to be so balanced as to be unbalanced. That way we can deliver deeper and more absolutely politically-correct approach to bringing insights to you. So, in keeping with that, my comments will now be carefully screened by Dr. Rube Churl, who’s the renowned Professor of Rhetoric at Puerile University. He’s going to be listening to my comments, and if I say something that is not in keeping with the new standards of political speech, he will sound this buzzer [Buzzer], then he will suggest an alternative word or phrase. So, are you ready, Dr. Churl?
DR. RUBE CHURL: Yes, please proceed.
HUCKABEE: Thank you very much. Well, this week, the House dropped a bombshell --
[Buzzer]
CHURL: The word "bombshell" implies war and violence. Try using a significant incendiary device.
[Laughter]
HUCKABEE: Okay. The House dropped a significant incendiary device by voting to repeal the ObamaCare bill. Despite the House vote, Senate majority leader Harry Reid said it would come to the Senate floor over his dead body --
[Buzzer]
CHURL: Dead body is not appropriate. Let’s try my non-animated physical presence.
HUCKABEE: Senate majority leader Harry Reid said the bill would come to the Senate floor over his non-animated physical presence which was the opening shot in the battle --
[Buzzer]
CHURL: Governor, there are two heated words. "Opening shot" and "in the battle." We need to replace these. Let’s say first point of the dispute in the disagreement.
HUCKABEE: Seriously. Okay. Senate majority leader harry Reid said the bill would come to the floor over his non-animated physical presence which was the first point of dispute in the disagreement between the two sides. The Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell responded, “That son of a gun --
[Buzzer]
CHURL: Governor, gun is not a word we can employ. Let’s try that son of a handheld detonation device.
HUCKABEE: Okay. The Senate minority leader responded, “That son of a handheld detonation device,” but the Republicans, they to stuck to their bullet points.
[Buzzer]
CHURL: Powder-powered projectile points.
HUCKABEE: Okay. And they focused on the job-killing –
[Buzzer]
CHURL: Killing.
HUCKABEE: Right, right. I get that part. Okay. The job euthanasia bill.
[Laughter] And then they voted to bury the –
[Buzzer]
Of course. We can't use that either. They voted to conclusively conceal in an underground manner the bill.
So Dr. Churl, I think if I get it right, here’s the way it would read. This is the new recap in the new unfair and unbalanced style:
This week the House dropped a significant incendiary device by voting to repeal the ObamaCare bill. Despite the House vote, Senate majority leader Harry Reid said it would come to the Senate floor over his non-animated physical presence, which was the first point of dispute in the disagreement between the two sides. Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell responded, “That son of a handheld decimation device,” but the Republicans stuck to their power-powdered projectile points and they focused on the job euthanasia bill and voted conclusively to conceal it in an underground manner that very bill.
Now that wasn't too hard, was it?
(H/T NBer Gary Hall)
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Comments
And here I thought the silliness had---
Submitted by matthewdean on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 2:26am.
maxed out in the late 60's with the burgeoning feminists preferring the use of "personhole" cover in place of 'manhole' cover to describe the removable lids, located in the street, for access to and entrance into underground utility vaults and municipal sewer systems.
Sometimes this stuff is silly, sometimes funny, and though apparently never-ending, certainly never dull.
MD
LOL
Submitted by ant on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 2:46am.
I mean chuckling ever-so softly! The War on Terror shall henceforth be referred to as the Manuever to Abate the Tactic of Instilling Survival- warranted Caution in the Civilian Population.
You're too late, ant. The
Submitted by motherbelt on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 7:41am.
You're too late, ant. The War on Terror has already been redesignated as "Overseas Contingency Operations."
You're right,motherbelt
Submitted by ant on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 9:16am.
Dang! They just have way more experience at this sort of thing.
Too perfect!
Submitted by Blonde on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 2:57am.
I'm not a big Huckabee fan, but that was just hilarious!
Great job, Guv Huck!
Handy Reference Guide to Obama's Gaffes and Goofs ~ Currently Numbering 200 (and Counting)
I am going to work very hard
Submitted by mostlymoderate on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 4:27am.
I am going to work very hard to see if we can get New Hampshire to remove "Live Free Or Die" from their state motto. Wooley v. Maynard simply isn't going to cut it anymore. (oops, I said "cut" it). I need to eliminate those kind of words from my vocabulary. (can I even say "eliminate"?)
Thanks NS and Gary
Submitted by Denny Crane on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 6:14am.
That was drop dead funny!
(oops)
We Are The 53%
You.....
Submitted by GeneralAl on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 6:45am.
Huckabee, You kill me! Oops! You render me to a non-animated state!
"Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away"!
No good, Huck!
Submitted by motherbelt on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 8:00am.
There's still a lot of violence in there.....
"significant incendiary device" is just as violent and kills just as many people as a "bomb."
And as does a "handheld detonation device" loaded with "powder-powered projectiles."
We have to get rid of ALL implications of violence.
The new phrasing would have to be thus:
This week the House surprised everyone by voting to repeal the ObamaCare bill. Despite the House vote, Senate majority leader Harry Reid said it would come to the Senate only if he was removed as a Senator, which was the first point of less-than-polite discussion between those with different ideas (no taking “sides.”) Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell responded, “That little Dickens …..” but the Republicans stuck to numbered agenda and they focused on the job-reducing bill and then voted conclusively to ignore that very bill.
Oh, and BTW, what are they going to call political "campaigns" now?
That's a battle term too. Ask Rahm Emanuel.
A brilliant example of PC run amok
Submitted by falcon on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 9:59am.
This is what happens when people focus more on parts of speech than they do on the message. It's also a good way for those on the Left to avoid having to discuss issues, because they can focus on "uncivil" parts of the speech - misdirection and redirection aimed at hollowing-out the debate.
Call a spade a spade! Down with Political Correctness! Or, as some USAF buddies of mine constantly say (and which has made its way into mainstream speech), "It is what it is."
“I will not stand by and watch this great country destroy itself under mediocre leadership, that drifts from one crisis to the next, eroding our national will and purpose.” – Ronald Reagan, July 17, 1980.
Goes too far
Submitted by paulnashtn on Wed, 01/26/2011 - 11:19am.
"He also showed how absurd it will be if the liberal media reaction to the Tucson shootings goes too far"
goes too far, goes too far, goes too far, they went too far 30 minutes after the shooting