Jay Leno went after his former late night rival on Friday using some of his opening monologue to poke fun at David Letterman's recently disclosed sexual escapades with staffers.
As Friday's program began, Leno quipped, "If you came here tonight for sex with a talk-show host, you’ve got the wrong studio."
But that was only the beginning (video embedded below the fold with transcript, h/t Mediaite):
If you came here tonight for sex with a talk-show host, you've got the wrong studio. Alright? So. Boy, what is going on? Boy, first, Conan hit his head, then somebody tries to extort money from Letterman. I'm so glad I'm out of late night. Oh. You know, I want to say I myself was once the victim of an extortion plot. How do you think NBC got me to do a 10:00 show? That's why I'm here. I am happy to say I have never had a sexual relationship with any of my staff members.
Nice.
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Comments Policy
Leno is definitely the
October 3, 2009 - 11:29 ET by samhermanmdLeno is definitely the class, Letterman is definitely the jackass.
Yes Leno is the class.
October 3, 2009 - 11:51 ET by JesseJacksonIVYes Leno is the class. Except that time he joked about John Edwards impregnating 17 year old Bristol Palin.
It wasn't Leno bashing Dave, they were jokes. Despie their professional rivalry, deep down Jay and Dave probably still like each other
JJIV
October 3, 2009 - 12:04 ET by Noel SheppardJJIV,
Letterman and Leno hate each other. Have ever since Carson made Leno his replacement. ns
NBC made Leno the
October 3, 2009 - 12:14 ET by JesseJacksonIVNBC made Leno the replacement, wasn't up to Johnny.
The article made it seem like nice Jay was bashing mean ole Dave, when they were just jokes between rivals. Nothing mean about it
JJIV
October 3, 2009 - 12:27 ET by Noel SheppardJJIV,
You lose all credibility when you claim Carson had nothing to do with the decision about who replaced him. Adios. ns
I dunno Noel
October 3, 2009 - 13:10 ET by nwahsJohnny Carson appeared on and wrote jokes for Letterman. He never appeared on or wrote jokes for Leno.
Also this :
Letterman's show remained with NBC for eleven years. When Carson
announced his retirement, he wanted Letterman to replace him. However,
NBC had other ideas and had regular guest host Jay Leno replace Carson.
Bitterly disappointed and angry at not getting the Tonight Show job, Letterman left to host The Late Show with David Letterman on CBS, opposite the Tonight Show.
A year after Late Show began, Carson made a surprise appearance during
a "Top 10 list" segment. The audience went wild as Carson sat at
Letterman's desk.
source: http://www.tvrage.co...
Also upon his death, letterman did a tribute to Carson using all the jokes he sent him..
http://politicalhumo...
I think its pretty clear Letterman was Carson's favorite. Letterman had the misfortune of having a hit show on the same network. NBC wasn't going to give up Letterman's hit show.
That sounds about right
October 3, 2009 - 15:37 ET by rockyracoonThat sounds about right nwahs, at least that is how I sort of remember it, however I think Leno & Letterman do hate each other.
The way I always understood
October 3, 2009 - 16:07 ET by Kat Outta the BagThe way I always understood it, Leno and Letterman were friends...until Leno won the Tonight Show spot that Letterman coveted and instead of being happy for his friend, Letterman pretty much ended the friendship after that.
I didn't post it because I couldn't find a trascript
October 3, 2009 - 18:15 ET by nwahsWell, I didn't post this earlier because I couldn't find a transcript or clip. Hopefully someone else saw it. Leno was on the Oprah show about a week or so ago, and she asked him if he could be stuck on a deserted island with someone, would it be Letterman or Conan. Leno's answer, indicated their friendship had cooled over the late show rivalry, but they were still cordial. In the end he picked Conan saying it was only because they were on the same network.
I do think the jokes were just jokes about a current event. Leno has no history of going after people in his monologues. He does what is funny at the moment.
Letterman, however, is like a dog with a bone when someone crosses him.
nwahs..
October 3, 2009 - 18:17 ET by katainkentyou're welcome :)
____________________________________________
The Emperor, he has no clothes
You're good
October 3, 2009 - 18:20 ET by nwahsYou're good, you're very good.
Now why didn't that come up on google? :D
it did
October 3, 2009 - 18:23 ET by katainkentI'd rather chew glass than watch Oprah. What did you search with?
____________________________________________
The Emperor, he has no clothes
Well I didn't use any fancy boolean operators
October 3, 2009 - 18:27 ET by nwahsI just went with Oprah Leno :)
→ nwahs
October 3, 2009 - 18:29 ET by Cool ArrowThe Oprah ain't over til' the fat lady sings.
Well I don't like the Oprah shots
October 3, 2009 - 18:39 ET by nwahsI don't like the Oprah shots of her being mesmerized by a musical guest (Oprah drooling over Streisand) or her rebel yell "Chicagoooooo" but she does a good celebrity interview most times. I tuned in to watch the MacKenzie Phillips interview and saw where Leno would be on, so I watched that as well.
I like the part where he said he wanted to be a regular person that makes show business money. Great gig if you can get it.
→ Saw part of it
October 3, 2009 - 18:43 ET by Cool ArrowI DVRd her show that day, but about ten minutes into the Phillips interview I couldn't stand any more.
"The article made it seem
October 3, 2009 - 15:48 ET by ckc1227"The article made it seem like nice Jay was bashing mean ole Dave, when
they were just jokes between rivals. Nothing mean about it"
What article did YOU read?
Letterman is......
October 3, 2009 - 11:54 ET by pantryman...a peanut encrusted high-fiber turd floating aimlessly in the punch-bowl of life, looking for anything that will copulate with him along the way.
The very last thing this POS should do is ridicule of find fault with anyone else...people in glass houses shouldn't....
So far accoring to the
October 3, 2009 - 12:03 ET by JesseJacksonIVSo far accoring to the reports, all of these relationships occurred before Dave was married. Sex between single, consenting adults is not that big of a deal.
It will only be a big deal if it comes out that the women were pressured into having sex with their boss.
→ JJIV
October 3, 2009 - 12:17 ET by Cool ArrowWe're just making mock of Letterman's turpitude.
I didn't know anybody was calling for legal action against him.
It's like your daddy, (or grand daddy), Jesse Jackson Jr. who talked his concubine into two abortions before she decided to finally have one of his kids.
Nothing legally wrong with the Revrun Jesse Jackson being a philandering pig, unless of course he paid his sidepiece off with Rainbow/Push (it on me girl) money.
Thanks Cool
October 3, 2009 - 13:48 ET by RukusJesse Jackson is a joke. : )
Gary
If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -- Tom Paine
Ah, But . . .
October 3, 2009 - 22:46 ET by DoktorFrankenJokes are meant to be funny. JJ (the real one) is just a sad-ass, opportunist sack of crap.
Well no... sex with
October 3, 2009 - 12:20 ET by MidAmericaWell no... sex with subordinates is never right and is always disruptive to a cohesive 'team' spirit among the staff. It's just plain unprofessional.
Having sex with his young
October 3, 2009 - 11:35 ET by MidAmericaHaving sex with his young staffers.... Yeah, that'e really mature and a class act. Mrs. Letterman must be real proud of her professional clown.
→ MA
October 3, 2009 - 11:38 ET by Cool ArrowI think his wife was one of these staffers.
Only difference between her and the others is that while he was poking fun, she took it seriously.
hhmmm.... well that
October 3, 2009 - 11:49 ET by MidAmericahhmmm.... well that makes it even worse for her. It makes her out to be just another one of his 'girls'.
FOR THE LOVE OF MONEY...
October 4, 2009 - 10:11 ET by danybhoyMrs.Letterman is proud of all of those millions in the bank that Dave has made during his half-@$$ed tv hosting duties.
"...How blind can you be, don't you see...
...that the gambler lost all he does not have..."
Nightwish
X
October 3, 2009 - 11:37 ET by serfer62The drummer at the end
now thats funny
Given that I don't watch
October 3, 2009 - 11:39 ET by BKeyserGiven that I don't watch either of these guys, and haven't for many, many years, is this typical fare, going after the other like that?
Sarge
October 3, 2009 - 23:13 ET by DoktorFrankenI, too, do not watch either of them. I don't watch any of the ''big 3'' broadcast networks - ever. One exception was when Rush was on Leno last week. When he was through with the ''car/track'' segment, I changed the channel.
I have lost all tolerance for the Left and their TV shows. All it takes is one little sentence about their favorite target, Sarah, and I never watch that show again. Same for bad mouthing Bush or any people who are real Americans. Plus, if they start dissing Christianity their channel gets turned off. And I'm not even a Christian. It's just that I have a high sensitivity to Leftist propaganda. It enrages me. Just like what Letterman did and how the Left accepts and defends it. Especially the idiots who say ''Well, at least he was brave enough to disclose it first.'' What morally bankrupt jackasses.
Leno's class
October 3, 2009 - 11:52 ET by KC MulvilleLeno was in a position that he'd have to make a joke. It had to be funny, not just a comment. But he clearly didn't want it to be mean. So, he deflected it from Letterman. He lumped it into Conan O'Brien's accident and blunted Letterman's problems to the extortion.
I must say, Leno was fair, he was funny ... it's like he knows what he's doing there. Nice job.
ChickaBOOMer: To Catch A Predator
October 3, 2009 - 12:16 ET by StewartIIITo Catch A Predator
http://chickaboomer.blogspot.com/2009/10/to-catch-predator.html
Not Conan
October 3, 2009 - 12:23 ET by slickwillie2001Interesting tho that Conan wouldn't touch it in monologue, and when one of his guests (Jack Black) brushed up against it, Conan moved on very quickly.
It'll also be interesting to see if the late nights or SNL will touch the Bamster's swan dive into an empty pool re the Olympics.
It could be that he met his
October 5, 2009 - 09:19 ET by NonArabOmarIt could be that he met his wife on the show, could have dated staffers himself, or that he just doesn't want to get involved with any of this. Not touching it. . .
Maybe if Letterman wasn't such a twisted old codger...
October 3, 2009 - 12:37 ET by SlyrrHe might have gotten more sympathy if he hadn't been such a mean-spirited, foul-mouthed, twisted, bitter, angry and ugly hypocrite.
Need I bring up this foul man's triades against Sarah Palin's family? He had no problem taking perverted delight in smearing Palin's daughters, hoping to smear her by association in his insane liberal attempts to destroy her politically.
He had no problem joking, laughing and pointing fingers at other people who fell into moral foibles. He delighted in jumping on the bandwagon of calling people foul names, insulting them, and trying to destroy them using his so-called 'comedy show' as a soapbox to spew his hatred and his vitriol.
Now he sits behind that desk, having the same kinds of jokes told about him, and he puts on a phoney smile, shaking his head and holding up his hands and trying vainly to laugh along with everyone else.
I hope this onion of a human being is let go from this job. If he were funny, it might make sense to keep him on as a comedian. But he's not funny. And he proved with his Obama interview that he's not a comedian anymore - he's a liberal pundit.
Let him join the other liberal pundits on CNN and MSNBC if he wants to. At least then he won't have to pretend to be mainstream anymore. Maybe it was trying to appear mainstream that's made him so grumpy and furious lately. Let him release that tension by being Bill Maher's second so he can say what he really thinks.
Re: Let Go
October 3, 2009 - 13:53 ET by slickwillie2001Will Letterboy survive this, –that's the question. It depends what comes next. Lawsuits from the women that cheated with Letterman, or their husbands, lawsuits from others that didn't cheat claiming an atmosphere of harassment tolerated by CBS, a long drawn out custody/divorce/property fight with his present wife, maybe even paternity surprises. Letterboy's hit rate could not have been 100%, those that rejected him now have a slam-dunk harassment case. CBS better get out the checkbook and get ready.
I expect lawyers might be hanging around the front of CBS's building, trolling for new clients. Letterboy is old and a tired act, and CBS might even see this as an opportunity to push him out to pasture.
It'll be hard to put the
October 3, 2009 - 15:43 ET by rockyracoonIt'll be hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube. We're only witnessing the beginning of this...affair. I think there'll be more to come, and you bring up why that will be possible slickwillie.
"Film at eleven!!!"
You said it!
October 3, 2009 - 14:39 ET by Forest for the TreesThis kind of exposure couldn't happen to a nicer guy (cough, cough).
Why people still watch Letterman is beyond me.
He is not funny - mearly a mean, cruel, aggressive, vindictive, acerbic, sour, and a poor excuse for human behavior BEFORE this came out.
Leno...
October 3, 2009 - 13:32 ET by CobraManLeno... are you bragging or complaining?
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
The US Constitution
Unless you're a fetus.
The US Supreme Court
Letterman's Got It All Coming
October 3, 2009 - 13:40 ET by rammingspeedJay Leno did a very mild mention of Letterman. I don't care what Johnny Carson felt about Leno vs Letterman, Jay Leno has long since proven himself to be the man with class and dignity, as well as a first rate host of The Tonight Show. Letterman has been in a mesmerizing tailspin into hatred and being just plain unfunny.
I read that Letterman
October 3, 2009 - 15:00 ET by MazziI read that Letterman paid one of his "staffers" way through school.
I think it was the one who was later (?) the girlfriend of the guy who
has been accused of extortion. That's just plain nasty.
When
I was a young lady, my dad told me a joke about a hot woman sitting in a bar. This
well-dressed guy came up to her and started talking about his private
jet and his mansion, and checking his Rolex. The woman was impressed.
So, he asks her if she will have sex with him for a million dollars.
The woman nearly passes out at her good fortune, and hyperventilates
"yes". The man then asks her if she will have sex with him for $100.
She slaps him and says "what kind of a girl do you think I am?" He
replies: "we have already determined that, now we are just negotiating
the price."
That joke told me more about life than any set of lectures he could have given me... ever. (Thanks Dad!)
"I would rather be historically accurate than politically correct" ~ My husband's T-Shirt
David Letterman
October 3, 2009 - 15:36 ET by Sergeant ROCKAhh.. I get it. So, Letterman attacking Palin on a weekly basis was just a diversion from the simple fact that he's the sh:tbag?
"I ask, Sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people. To disarm the people is the best and most effectual way to enslave them."
George Mason
I think he should have done
October 3, 2009 - 15:38 ET by Conservative in the ArtsI think he should have done a short skit about it. He could have gone around and asked "his staff" if he's ever misbehaved. Jay walks into the coffee room and it is filled to the brim with swimsuit models. Then he walks out to the receptionist....yep another swimsuit model....he does live in California, while Dave is in NY
Late Night hosts
October 3, 2009 - 16:38 ET by Joe CamelI never watched Carson, never have watched Letterman, Leno, Conan..none of them. I frankly never thought any of them were funny, though I love humor. Much like the evening news, just don't watch it, though the news does have tons of humor each evening trying to be "objective".
HERE'S JOHNNY...
October 4, 2009 - 10:17 ET by danybhoyJohnny Carson was the gold standard, PERIOD. He was the best, & will always be the best. Leno is ok, Letterman sucks, Chevy Chase was an abortion, & I see Letterman & wonder if Arsenio Hall must be wondering WTF? Put away the Top 10 lists Dave, & sign off.
"...How blind can you be, don't you see...
...that the gambler lost all he does not have..."
Nightwish
I've never had any use...
October 3, 2009 - 16:57 ET by PrairieSkyfor Letterman. Ever. I think he is first class jackass.
And though I much prefer Leno, I think his comments were rather tacky. I'm sure that after all these years of lambasting celebrities and politicians for their sexual peccadilloes, it never seriously occurred to Letterman that his own transgressions would be on the front page one day, and Jay Leno should be mindful of that as well. He says that he has never fooled around with any of his staff over the years, and I take him at his word. But you never really know with people sometimes, and if there is any kind of a skeleton in Leno's closet, somebody will likely eventually find it, and try to take advantage of it. Hopefully Leno is smart enough to remember that.
"The problem is not that people are taxed too little...the problem is that government spends too much." ~President Ronald Reagan
I think it was tacky to joke
October 3, 2009 - 17:17 ET by balboaI think it was tacky to joke about a fellow host. But Leno is in desperate need of ratings, so this isn't surprising.
And everyone here that says Letterman hasn't been funny since whenever, Leno stopped being funny the moment he took over for Carson. He's been nothing but boring since.
Good golly!
October 3, 2009 - 17:24 ET by RukusI agree with you Bal! Wow! : )
Gary
If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -- Tom Paine
→ I don't know, bal
October 3, 2009 - 17:25 ET by Cool ArrowI don't often watch either. What I've read is that Leno went to his new time slot as sort of a Hail Mary to save NBC Prime.
But if you're contending it was the other way around, I won't bother to dispute your claim.
NBC threw Leno in at 10
October 3, 2009 - 17:30 ET by balboaNBC threw Leno in at 10 because a) Leno had second thoughts about retiring, b) NBC wanted to save money instead of paying for new dramas and thought there was a chance that Leno could get them good ratings.
But Leno has been floundering at 10 p.m. He was doing find at 11:30. But now he needs ratings, which is I'm sure part of the reason he made a joke about Letterman.
→ Fine with that
October 3, 2009 - 17:38 ET by Cool ArrowI'm not all that read-up on the entertainment ratings scene.
I didn't even know about an unwritten rule that you don't trash your competition in your monologue.
Somebody should tell O'Reilly and Olbermann.
I think talking heads are
October 3, 2009 - 17:56 ET by balboaI think talking heads are way different than talk show hosts like Leno and Letterman, who came up through comedy clubs together. There's more of a camaraderie with comedians.
never was
October 3, 2009 - 23:51 ET by LoosMooseLetterman didn't stop being funny, he never was in the first place
Why don't both of these
October 3, 2009 - 19:56 ET by RR GOPWhy don't both of these has-beens retire and spare us their BS.
One of the 34% who thinks George W. Bush was a great President. One of the 86% who wants to bring back the stock and pillory.
Tear him up
October 3, 2009 - 23:42 ET by LoosMooseI can only hope that Letterman will get HALF of what he has been dishing out for years. ALL the time that he stood their HAMMING for the camera with that smarmy ugly ass face about others being busted for cheating and sex scandals, and where was he 20 minutes after the taping? That's right.... I hope they roast him alive.... and the woman he was cheating on.... PLEASE let her find the best divorce attorney in Hollywoodland and MAKE HIM PAY......
Hubris
October 4, 2009 - 02:24 ET by LindamaeLetterman is displaying a fine attack of hubris - false pride. He's attacked many other old men who have things with young chickies so turnabout is fair play. Why do old men think there is any reason for a young woman to find them sexually attractive? It's the dollar signs, baby!
Leno was too mild. Dave deserved more ridicule. I wonder what Craig and Conan will do on Monday when they do new shows. There were other shows on that taped on Thursday so let's see what happens on Monday.
Dave was so mean to Palin's children - he deserves all he gets from this. It is illegal for supervisors to have sex with a subordinate in most situations. There is a reason for this. Hope it costs Letterman loads of money for his stupidity in bedding the staff. What a fool.
That's why I still love
October 4, 2009 - 05:27 ET by wiwfThat's why I still love Leno!
The Rocky Mountain Collegian: Illustrating Idiocy
What kills me the most
October 4, 2009 - 20:53 ET by ParalegalGoddessWhat kills me the most about this is that Dave used this story to get laughs about having sex with women on his staff. Did he discuss this with them before he went on the air? He's such a whore for a laugh and ratings point that he didn't even take the time to discuss this with these women. How many of them have families that are going to ask them questions... he should have discussed this with them before going on the air.
Secondly, no matter how you look a this -- its sexual harrassment. And this gap-toothed bastard is going to get away with it because he's David Letterman and he's going to win the late night ratings for sure now... He was already beating Conan and now there's no way the ratings are gonna fall.
Leno, you should have let this one go... there's no way that anyone is going to look good making fun of this... Even though turn about is fair play... Trust me, Leno's gonna get all kinds of flack for this.