Fox New's Bill O'Reilly has a fabulous response to Seymour Hersh's most-recent conspiracy theory about former Vice President Dick Cheney having an executive assassination squad responsible for covertly wiping out America's enemies:
If Cheney really had such a crew, Hersh would have been dead a long time ago, and so would most everybody at MSNBC.
So wrote O'Reilly in a fabulously tongue-in-cheek column Sunday entitled "Coming Soon to a Lefty Rag Near You."
In it, "The Factor" host marvelously skewered left-wing media outlets that are destined in the coming months to offer up "all kinds of horror stories...about alleged Bush-Cheney atrocities" designed to "deflect attention from present-day problems and provide liberal thinkers with the intense indignation they so desperately need":
Newsweek will report that Bernard Madoff has told unidentified friends that it was George W. Bush who actually forced him to develop the $65 billion Ponzi scheme that ruined thousands of people. Friends of Bernie say he was ready to be an honest broker until Bush came to him in a dream and urged him to commit massive financial fraud. [...]
The New York Times [NYT] will run a Page One story saying that after the Iraqi shoe guy embarrassed Bush in Baghdad, the president himself waterboarded the man and kept him tied up in a cold room while looping excerpts from Wolf Blitzer’s program at high sound levels. The Times, citing unidentified sources close to the footwear industry, will allege the shoe guy gave up bad information because torture never works.
Vanity Fair magazine, in between pictures of Lindsay Lohan partying in Baja, will present a most startling scenario: It was Cheney who contaminated peanut butter with salmonella because, according to anonymous sources speaking only to VF, the VP had “had it” with the kids.
Finally, Will Ferrell will star in a new movie called “Crawford Nights: The Ballad of Dickie/Georgie.” In this film directed by Oliver Stone, it will be purported that the real head of the Cali drug cartel was Bush, with Cheney as consigliere. The screenplay, written by Sean Penn and Jessica Alba, is being closely guarded, but word is it will portray Cheney as the guy who provided Michael Phelps with the substance-filled bong.
How delicious.
Of course, in the coming days we should expect O'Reilly to take a great deal of heat for his opening quip concerning Hersh and MSNBC, and for me to similarly be defamed by all manner of left-wing shill for having the nerve to repeat it.
That said, readers who can stand it should review Hersh's most-recent conspiracy theory to truly understand the level of insanity and delusion not only being espoused by the left, but also being devoured like the finest champagne and caviar.
*****Update: The shills over at ThinkProgress have already proved me right with an update about yours truly. As a result, I'm already starting to get hate e-mail messages such as the following:
It figures that a mindless yutz such as you from a propaganda site such as Newsbusters would find redeeming value in anything that FOX News's Ted Baxter utters.
Amazingly stupid comments from Bill O'Reilly are routine, and so is the wink and a nod when it comes to insinuating violence against anybody not on the right. Bernie Goldberg knows a thing or two about that.
What is it with you fringe right-wingers that causes your type to embrace violence so?You people are fun to watch, though. Your unintentional humor is priceless.
—Noel Sheppard is the Associate Editor of NewsBusters. Follow him at Facebook and Twitter.
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Comments Policy
Hate
March 22, 2009 - 11:33 ET by iveseenitallCheney, Bush, AIG execs, "greedy capitalists"...Stoke the fires of hate toward certain groups of people---that's what Hitler and Stalin did. Hummm...
NEVER,NEVER trust a "liberal"
OH, of course both you and
March 22, 2009 - 11:34 ET by Indiana JoeOH, of course both you and O'Reilly will suffer the slings and arrows. Dems nowadays have even LESS of a sense of humor in victory as they had in defeat.
Also, look for snippets to be pulled from this and O'Reilly's piece and appear as "confessions." Congressional investigations will follow. Barney Frank will demand transparency. Chris Dodd will pount the podium with his shoe.
It will just serve as more distraction while our economy is being driven off a cliff.
"Meet the new boss, same as the old boss..." - The Who
IJ... You hit the nail
March 22, 2009 - 15:15 ET by bigtimerIJ...
You hit the nail square on the head here!
BIGTIMER...
March 23, 2009 - 07:28 ET by danybhoyI said it here before, but I am too lazy to dig up when I said this, but if Bush/Cheney were the fascists that BathTubBoy, the rest of the unwatched at MSNBC, Air America, & the hard lefty blogs all claimed they were, people like Olby, Matthews, Maddow, Markos/"Kos", Arianna Huffington, Mike Malloy, & Randi Rhodes would have been grabbed off the street & hauled off to Cheney's "undisclosed location". These are the people who claim to love "democracy", but idolize those world leaders past & present, who have crushed freedom. The likes of Che, the Castro brothers, Hugo Chavez, whoever. Lefties will kiss the @$$ of almost ANY thug dictator who oversees a "people's republic".
"The Fairness Doctrine = Jim Crow laws for Conservatives". Jim Quinn from "Quinn & Rose"
The Clinton Years
March 23, 2009 - 14:43 ET by UtherpendDidn't more people die in the Clinton White House under dubious conditions, where as no one died under President Bush's watch?
"If you love wealth more than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, depart from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you."
OPPS...
March 23, 2009 - 07:35 ET by danybhoyDouble post.
"The Fairness Doctrine = Jim Crow laws for Conservatives". Jim Quinn from "Quinn & Rose"
Absolutely Brilliant!
March 22, 2009 - 11:34 ET by mizflame98O'Reilly is spot on with this one. I'm looking forward to him making it on Olberdouche's Worst Person in the World list. Possibly filling all 3 spots.
"Not to be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head." - Francois Guisot
Really?
March 22, 2009 - 12:10 ET by StarAZI haven't watched Keithie in almost a yr--is he still whaling on O'Reilly? Pundit envy?
Oh yes.
March 22, 2009 - 19:07 ET by mizflame98I don't watch bathtub boy either, but I can click over to the opening introduction of the show on any given day and O'Reilly is more often than not mentioned. He has a real sick obsession with him. Olbermann's show has the intellect and informative edge of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. The only difference is MST3K is at least funny.
"Not to be a republican at twenty is proof of want of heart; to be one at thirty is proof of want of head." - Francois Guisot
Glad you qualified your MST3K comment
March 23, 2009 - 08:53 ET by IgnatzJFahrquar"Olbermann's show has the intellect and informative edge of Mystery Science Theatre 3000."
Some of it could be a bit cornball, but for the most part, it was fun to watch.
What I'd really like to see is them doing their commentary on a B Hussein speech, or rally, or you name it.
"All generalizations are false, including this one.” Mark Twain
"Of course, in the coming
March 22, 2009 - 11:35 ET by jacktheripper"Of course, in the coming days we should expect O'Reilly to take a great
deal of heat for his opening quip concerning Hersh and MSNBC"
Bill will give as good as he gets....LET THE WAR BEGIN
Good for O'Reilly
March 22, 2009 - 11:36 ET by jdawg2009I don't always go along with what O'Reilly says, but this is a good piece. He is constantly attacked by the left-wing MSM for saying things he never said, so this is sure to create a lot of comment from the reality-challenged media. Maybe Olbermann will do another Nazi salute...
I alway's laughed at the
March 22, 2009 - 11:37 ET by BlazerI alway's laughed at the left for eight yrs. who claimed the evil Bush and Cheney were taking away their civil liberties, consitutional right's and trying to silence dissent without offering one shred of evidence.
They never saw the irony in the fact that the more they launched their vulgar and ugly tirades against the Bush admin,....well......the more and more they could continue to launch their vulgar and ugly tirades against the Bush admin., without the first repurcusion.
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious. "
- Ben Kenobi on Liberals, and the MSM.
" The Cake is a lie."
Whaaaaa...?
March 22, 2009 - 11:39 ET by heldmywBut, but this is Obama's America! Were living in an Obamanation!
What "present day problems"? Surely this is all just a plan by Emperor Arugula I to make all things bright and perfect for us in his lightworkerly way?
I'm sure that 'liberal thinkers' will be putting away their 'intense indignation' any time now! Surely they don't need it any more?
You made me laugh
March 22, 2009 - 12:08 ET by StarAZ"Lightworkerly way." Very nice. Don't forget to catch yet another flash of his phony ivories on 60 Minutes. I will pass--you watch. Let's see, let me guess...he inherited this, he hasn't been given enough time to fix it, and he hired Timmy because Timmy, as a leprechaun, is a disadvantaged immigrant minority, stature challenged, and differently abled.
This reminds me of the
March 22, 2009 - 11:43 ET by Chris NormanThis reminds me of the comments posted here (a couple of years ago) observing that, if Bush/Cheney had indeed crushed free speech, the people who were making those idiotic accusations would be in prison for making them.
The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.
I agree with O'Reilly and O'Reilly agrees...
March 22, 2009 - 11:50 ET by jawebster1with Rush Limbaugh. "The best way to illustrate absurdity is with absurdity!" In today's world, nothing is more absurd than the liberal left and "the main stream media", but then I repeat myself. Jim Webster
Of course, anytime one is
March 22, 2009 - 12:34 ET by Chris NormanOf course, anytime one is spoofing liberal accusations with absurd examples - the absurd spoof of today is the reality of their accusations tomorrow
The "Mainstream" Media: By liberals. For liberals.
No Evidence? No Kidding.
March 22, 2009 - 11:44 ET by rammingspeedSeymour Hersh and Big Wally Mondale make their accusations without evidence, and no one from the mainstream media calls them on it. Go figure. What these two men did at this conference is direct evidence from their own mouths that they themselves are evil. These are ad hominem attacks that will never be backed up, because they are untrue. For these men to get away with it is evil - pure evil.
And Hersh calls Bush and Cheney evil. Sheeeesh!
when you put a shop-vac in reverse
March 22, 2009 - 12:05 ET by katainkentThat's Bill O'Reilly. But I did like this article (very delicious). He's much easier on the ears in written format.
Dear Bill O'Reilly, Say
March 22, 2009 - 12:45 ET by MANstreammediaDear Bill O'Reilly,
Say stuff like this more often and I (and probably many others) would actually watch you.
MANstreammedia
PS: I know that you had to yell to get a word in with Barney Frank, but if there is somehow a next time, combine your yelling with more cleverness like this.
Never
March 22, 2009 - 12:58 ET by Kingfish17I may watch his show once in a while but I will never put too much credence into what he is saying. The day he said that another company, (besides his of course), was making too much money was the day I recognized he is PURE populist.
"When will Barack Obama apologize to the American people for destroying their once great nation?" - MSM 2012
When gasoline was
March 22, 2009 - 13:11 ET by Free StinkerWhen gasoline was $4.00/gallon, all BOR could talk about was how ExxonMobile was screwing the consumer.
Now that it's $1.65/gallon ? <cue the cricket chirping sounds>
"Gov. Palin has been subjected to one of the most massive and dishonest pile-on smear attacks in the history of liberal media." -- Lowell Ponte
→ Tru dat, Free
March 22, 2009 - 23:33 ET by Cool ArrowAnd much like the ant, who gathers while food is plentiful, EXXON isn't asking for bailout money today.
LYDSEXICS UNTIE!
Pure Paranoia
March 22, 2009 - 12:46 ET by snaggletoothieHersh's accusations like the claims of threats to civil liberties and claims of US government torture NEVER ONCE include the naming of a specific person on a specific date carrying out a specific illegal or even questionable act. The charges are pure paranoia spun from pure imagination.
Great column Bill, didn't know you had it in you.
March 22, 2009 - 13:00 ET by CTThe best satire I've heard this month and heaven knows we needed it.
Seymour Hersh needs to be
March 22, 2009 - 13:16 ET by R D HelmSeymour Hersh needs to be placed in a padded room.
No joke, this guy is nuts.
LOL-I should know, 'cause I am about half-way there myself. :-(
-Dave
This coup has gone on long enough. The time to put it down is NOW.
RD...I agree...Sy Hersh is stuck in 1969...
March 22, 2009 - 13:55 ET by PrairieSkyEver since he broke the My Lai story, he sees conspiracies EVERYWHERE...He and Oliver Stone should team up on Stone's next movie...
"...peace is the highest aspiration of the American People. We will negotiate for it, sacrifice for it, we will never surrender for it, now or ever." President Ronald Reagan~ January 20, 1981
Bill hit the nail on the head...
March 22, 2009 - 13:41 ET by PrairieSkywith this one...And he will be retaliated against for speaking the truth, I'm sure, by the looney left. O'Reilly's equal to the task, and will make mince meat out of his critics, as he usually does. I can't wait to see the response this column brings. It should be fun to watch...
"...peace is the highest aspiration of the American People. We will negotiate for it, sacrifice for it, we will never surrender for it, now or ever." President Ronald Reagan~ January 20, 1981
All I have to say is:
March 22, 2009 - 13:50 ET by BlueCat57AMEN!!!!!
If the conspiracy theories are true we would be living in a much better world without whiney liberals, ruled by conservative Masons in a benevolent dictatorship. Are the people that believe this stuff really that stupid? I know the people that make it up are smart enough to know that their audience is stupid, but are there people out there that have so little grasp of logic that they believe this stuff?
Come on, now - I just watched MedIa Malpractice with
March 22, 2009 - 20:45 ET by Cape Conservativethe interviews (remember them?) of some of 'the one's' supporters....YES, THEY REALLY ARE THAT STUPID!!!!!!
By the way, if your stomach can handle over an hour of msm butt-kissing blabber, get the dvd - it's well worth the time. It also includes a 45-minute interview with Sarah Palin. What dastardly deeds the campaign staff pulled on her - I am certain they intentionally sabotaged her! I hope she stays up in her beautiful state and continues to show the other 49 how good governing works. NO AMERICAN deserves the treatment she received! I wrote to all networks saying exactly that and have NEVER watched any msm news programs since!!! (Instead, I rely on the kind folks at Newsbusters to keep me informed ;-)
It is no dishonor to be in a minority in the cause of liberty and virtue. ~ Sam Adams
I don't know why you guys
March 22, 2009 - 15:10 ET by MazziI don't know why you guys are ragging so hard on Hersh. After all, Cheney did kill JFK didn't he? And, we all know that a man who would do THAT would do anything.
That's liberal circular evidence, lol.
"I would rather be historically accurate than politically correct" ~ My husband's T-Shirt
me, me, me, pick me
March 22, 2009 - 15:35 ET by jdripperI want to be on the hit squad assigned to MSNBC. This should get the crazies going through my garbage.
Jack
"If at age 20 you are a conservative then you have no heart. If at age 30 you are a liberal then you have no brains." Sir Winston Churchill
If Only....
March 22, 2009 - 16:25 ET by SlyrrI think the media AND Congress, the House and the Judiciary are in sore need of a purging. Most of those relics and dinosaurs have held those jobs WAY longer than is good for them.
Government positions were never really intended to be 'permanent' because the founders knew the sad truth - that if the people who held those positions got the idea into their heads that the jobs were their 'royal birthright', then they'd wind up with another mess like the monarchy they rebelled against.
And hark where we are now.
Pelosi turned into Godzilla when she got the speaker position and she's been running the place as if she had been anointed 'Queen of the Galaxy'. Congress and the house stepped WAY beyond their bounds, whipping the people up into a mob and turning them loose on AIG employees to make threats, do violence and hound them.
How long before it's open season on churches they don't like? How long before they declare conservatism 'unconstitutional' and turn ACORN-funded mobs of thugs and secret police loose on every registered Republican? Make no mistake, they'd LOVE to use the registered voting status of private citizens as a tool so they know who to send their jack-booted thugs after.
These people are tyrants in their hearts - and tyrants above all else are terrified of the people they supress.
Dennis Kucinich made the
March 22, 2009 - 16:32 ET by Anniee451Dennis Kucinich made the claim about executive death squads way before Hersh. Doesn't matter; they're all wackjobs.
Still, one can only hope that Cheney's assassination squad is fully equipped with ride-on dinosaurs that are fitted with laser beams. I'd say robots, but really, putting a robot on a dinosaur is just asking for trouble.
Hersh's accusations like
March 22, 2009 - 18:25 ET by TN MomHersh's accusations like the claims of threats to civil liberties and claims of US government torture NEVER ONCE include the naming of a specific person on a specific date carrying out a specific illegal or even questionable act. The charges are pure paranoia spun from pure imagination.
I LOVED O'Reilly's response! Hersh was smacked!
If Rush and Bill ran cafeterias...
March 22, 2009 - 18:31 ET by jawebster1I would know going in that everything Rush served up would be healthy and delicious. With Bill, I am careful with my choices because some of what he serves up is good and some is not so good. Since I am a Conservative with principles (he calls people like me Idealogues), I can easily tell the difference. I believe this column was one of his better servings. Jim Webster
Hey Noel
March 22, 2009 - 19:14 ET by general companyWhen these nimrods send you their e-mail addy, you ever tempted to forward your spam folder to them? : ]
"Television is a freak show" Bernie Goldberg
GC
March 22, 2009 - 19:17 ET by Noel SheppardGC,
How would I do that, and what would it accomplish? ns
Well,
March 22, 2009 - 20:27 ET by general companySelect all then forward,,, dont know you can tell us later?
"Television is a freak show" Bernie Goldberg
Blog Wars
March 22, 2009 - 21:40 ET by OxyConNothing but blog wars
Give me those blog wars
Don't let them end...
http://starwars.yahoo.com/videos/e054eee49ff38cab22be2c3368512629
Let me guess, Hirsch heard
March 22, 2009 - 22:55 ET by Dave DLet me guess, Hirsch heard about this through his famous anonymous sources. You know, the one that told him ahead of time about when we attacked Iran in the summer of 2005, summer 2006, and summer of 2008. (I missed if his sources mentioned summer 2007.) Ok, quick history quiz for everybody. How many of these attacks really happened. Oh, and here's a hint, none.
Noel! Noel!
March 23, 2009 - 07:19 ET by GeneralAlI don't give a rip about the these left wing Communist nuts anymore! They hide behind the First Amendment for their hate filled poisonous attacks on us while wanting to strip us of our free speech rights! They are a bunch of gutlees cowards that attack a lone prey like a pack of wild wolves! They can never go one on one and always resort to personal attacks! Here is one for you Lefty Commies out there! Do you want to tangle with me? Come to Chicago and ask for the General! Bring your Girly Man buddies and bring your lunch! After I whip your sorry butts intellectually, I'll proceed to physically whip your panzy butts and ship you all back to Michael Jackson to give you loving comfort!